Category Archives: relationships

I Have Learned

by Linda Ballard

Martin Luther King Jr. birthday was observed on January 17th of this year. His birthday is Jan 15th. On January 17th in observance of Martin Luther King Jr. birthday, I wrote a poem and posted it on Twitter. It is dedicated to the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. who sacrificed his life for the things I have learned.

I have learned through the eyes of death that one should appreciate life and all it has to offer.

I have learned to embrace the smallest of the small so I can retain true objectivity.

I have learned to love myself and validate myself. When the storm comes I will not lose hope. I will survive.

I have learned the extensions of one’s life is given purpose through the hinges of another that swings in the balance.

I have learned to stand down in the face of criticism, to honor it, and respect it as a teaching tool.

I have learned to show deference, to cry, to become a better human being instead of bitter.

I have learned to show compassion, empathy, and support, and rethink my thinking before I judge.

I have learned to jump feet first. I was so thankful for having feet.

I have learned to say,”Hello,”  and really mean it.   It was not superficial.

I have learned even when my hands touched deaths doorway, someone crossed over before me to give me a second chance.

I have learned to lift the spirits of those who could hardly lift their heads and they walked with heavily burdened hearts.

I have learned all across the nation ones achievements can be just as influential in Death as it is in Life.

I have learned even though it was not time for death to call out to me,

I didn’t view the mountaintop and I escaped the Promise Land.

I have learned to take a closer look at the hills and slopes and to better understand.

I have learned all in TIME,  Not To Judge A Man.

——————-

NLD Mom/cancer survivor

Side by Side Play

by Linda Ballard

Mom took me to the playground.

All the children played.

Mom watched me very carefully.

She knows I have delays.

———-

Mom came up to me repeatedly.

I didn’t know how to react.

So I shook my head and flapped my arms.

I tried to interact.

———-

The children begin to surround me.

All I could do was stare.

Mom stepped right in immediately.

She helps me become aware.

———-

This is my big moment,

To make friends and try to choose.

This is my moment for reaching out.

I did not want to lose.

———-

Mom deals with all my social blunders

She truly understands.

She loves me and encourages me.

Mom tells me, YES YOU CAN.

———-

I became so frustrated.

My behaviors begin to manifest.

I started stumping, crying, and screaming.

Mom told me it was time to rest.

———-

The children became so frightened.

They all started running away.

I was puzzled and felt very empty inside.

This was a horrible day.

———-

Understanding the concept of making friends,

Made it difficult for the children to stay.

Mom wrapped her arms around me and whispered.

It is called side by side play.

———-

This is dedicated to all the Mothers with children that have extraordinary minds with unique abilities and multi-level learning styles on Mother’s Day, wishing you the best. This also goes out to all the children across the world who have difficulty developing friendships and relationships. Hang in there, you are not alone.

NLD Mom/cancer survivor

Giving Recognition To The Unrecognized__Saving Lives

by Linda Ballard

We give recognition to people, things, places, and subjects that are identifiable and previously known. Through encounters of their existence, we give validation to their achievement. This makes them credible and recognizable. Recognition is the most talked about and the latest trend.  Those who are rich, famous and recognizable suffer from SHAME, GUILT, and FEAR of HUMILIATION…  They battle knowing a problem exists or has been in existence for a long period time. The greatest FEAR for the people who are recognizable is someone will find out about their problem. They will lose their reputation and their  3G network (Glimmer, Glamour, and Gold) that comes along with their fame.  The people who go unrecognized is just the opposite. No credit is given to the unrecognizable. Their problems are masked, hidden, disguised and unknown. At this time or any time the unrecognized is definitely not the trend. Given no support from their community, no validation, the burden of SHAME and GUILT lies heavy in their hearts.

This is a welcome mat for  ISOLATION.  Those who feel the burns of SHAME, GUILT, FEAR, and ISOLATION may be tempted to glance into the window of SUICIDE. ISOLATION is their choice. They give themselves a hall pass for denial and it feeds the SHAME, GUILT, and FEAR. The unrecognized has fewer choices. The choice of ISOLATION is granted by the one that judges them. Judgment is not placed in their hands. They have poor judgment and put their lives in the hands of people who cannot be trusted.  The unrecognized will suffer the pain and agony of many cuts by the ones who judge, leaving them with lack of confidence and low self-esteem. This is a deficit for NLD and other exceptionalities. This can apply to the those with recognition.

It is very difficult for people to see themselves as having a problem or understanding the problems of others. It is twice as hard for them to express themselves.  They do not have the ability to recognize the unrecognizable.  NLD (Nonverbal Learning Disability) and many others fall into this category. A Neurological disorder with unintentional behaviors carries a distorted view through life’s window. These disorders cannot recognize the SHAME and GUILT due to a mass amount of confusion, frustration, anger, and ISOLATION. Those who have unique learning styles and extraordinary minds are ridiculed and rejected by others. They are not given the opportunity to become socially and emotionally competent.  WHY?  People feel it takes too long to teach them. There are too many accommodations needed to help them get from point A to B.  Many people feel the process is taking too long and they need results NOW. Once the behaviors cut loose for NLD, SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and anyone else that has an unrecognizable neurological disorder, it is all over for them. Just being unrecognized with no disorders is a problem. You are basically on your own. It is hard for people to understand the behavior or tolerate dealing with the behaviors of those who are not under the umbrella of the Autism Spectrum. Those who are recognized and under the Autism Spectrum includes Autism, Asperger, PDD-NOS, Rett Syndrome and Childhood Disintegrative Disorders. It is very difficult to deal with recognizable or unrecognizable behaviors when you are uneducated about them.

The psychological effect can take a toll on your life. Hiding, not knowing when it will all surface. How will you react?  My friends that have gone before me have left a message.  You are looking out of the window and your body gets too close to the edge, ask yourself which one is it. Is it your mind or your body that is too close? If it is your mind, look across the way and try to realize and recognize other people may have greater problems. If it is your body step back and remember the ones whose bodies were ridden with cancer and still fought to maintain what was left of their mind. This was their Quality of Life.  Before you sway too far out of the window and indulge in the thoughts of SUICIDE think about the SHAME, GUILT, and HUMILIATION you will place on your loved ones, your family, and your friends.  Think about it, get help, and save your life and others who love you. Don’t sink a ship.

The poem Rest Peaceful My Nubian Queen is dedicated to one of my great mentors. She taught me whenever it is time to go to the hospital always Remember that you can Remember. Always ask for a bed not by the window, but by the door. Look across the way and focus on the pain of another and your pain will diminish.

For those who are unrecognized, a chain of events will happen. You will struggle to gain respect and validation. It may take many years.  It has taken many years for the American Psychiatric Association to give NLD (Nonverbal Learning Disability) or SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) any recognition. They have not done so to this date. TIME is a precious commodity. All  IN TIME.

To the President of the United States: You have been riding on the wave of a tsunami. You have looked across the way.  The words you spoke transmitted respect to the life of an infamous recognizable now laid to rest. It was a life. You held steadfast to your 3Ps and in my book, you will always be given Recognition.

To  Catherine-Zeta Jones: You are not alone. I’m proud you came forward. You have taken the first step for the rest of your life toward healing. The SHAME, GUILT, FEAR, and ISOLATION lies in the label of MENTAL ILLNESS. Far too long many people have been stereotyped and have been afraid to seek help. I have sat behind the chart for many years with my son who is now 22 years of age. It was his diagnosis that has given me the extensive knowledge in the field of the neurosciences. My son is a masterful educator and one of my greatest mentors. He struggles in his life but we address every aspect of his neuropsychological disorder which is brain-based. This is the mental aspect where there are deficits in areas of writing, math, abstract language, social communication skills and more.  I have sat behind another chart. I sign off on my tweets as NLD Mom/cancer survivor, if I don’t run out of space. I can talk about my breast cancer. This is a physical illness. I lost a breast but it saved my life.

This story is about saving lives and the choices we make to help save others. Today, many women can take another route to conserve their breast, just as long as they conserve their mind and life with their choice.  If I can talk about a physical illness then others should be able to talk about their mental illness with NO Shame In Their Game.  Always remember you ask for help, you wanted to learn, and you wanted to live and SURVIVE. Today I give RECOGNITION to the most stereotypical illness in the medical profession. MENTAL ILLNESS–Let’s talk and raise awareness for MENTAL HEALTH and SAVE LIVES. NLD Mom/cancer survivor

Easter Under The Umbrella For NLD

by Linda Ballard

Scene:  Sammy Spatial Relations and Fanny Faulty Perception explain why Nicky NLD does not want to participate in the Easter egg hunt. There are certain elements when activated within Nicky NLD which can bring out certain unwanted behaviors. This would be Nicky NLD’s beast. Sammy and Fanny are trying to figure out strategies and coping skills to help Nicky NLD.   Sammy wants to make the hunt easy for Nicky NLD and wants him to feel included.  Sammy Spatial Relations gives his view of his relationship with Nicky NLD for clarity and understanding. Fanny Faulty Perception wants people to understand what happens to Nicky NLD when he comes in contact with her family and other relatives.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

I’m glad you agreed to meet with me today. I appreciate you coming,  Sammy Spatial Relations. Is your back injury any better?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Not really, but I have a good doctor. I could have prevented this injury from happening. I know better. Judging from the size and weight of that pipe I thought my body was in the clear. My timing was off and Roscoe was up next to put his parts in the car.  At Ford Motor Company the order of operation is crucial. If one person is off it screws up the whole line.  I’m so glad that wasn’t Nicky NLD out there on the line with me.  He would be wrapped up like the mummy.  It would be a 50 car pile up.  Nicky NLD hasn’t built any relationships with direction, time, space, quantity, shape, movement, volume, order,  and size. These are not Nicky NLD qualities. This is what I am good at. He can have a relationship with others but he will receive a lot of false information. He needs to build a relationship with his body and use his senses to gather information to make judgment calls. The more he interacts with his environment, the more he would remember by not having to ask for information. This would help strengthen his problem-solving skills.

He would understand cause and effect, stick to his schedule, and compare and find out what he likes and dislikes. He would know the difference.  Through the eyes of Nicky NLD, it is hard for him to discriminate differences (visual-spatial). He cannot make his body move smoothly and accurately. That is why people think he is clumsy and he bumps into people and objects all the time (motor-spatial). Nicky NLD can’t participate because it takes both visual and motor spatial skills to finish the activity. This garden is a maze to him.  He felt trapped. Your family was pretty hard on Nicky NLD. This is why he doesn’t want to participate in the Easter Egg Hunt. You and your crew didn’t understand. I get why Nicky NLD got so angry.  We are inseparable. I’m trying to help him with his deficits not bring him down in front of the whole world. The key to helping Nicky NLD is giving him support, acknowledging his achievements, and correcting his mistakes without beating him down and calling him out of his name.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

So you are singing Nicky’s praises once again to the tune of Natalie Cole’s Inseparable.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

What you are saying to me right now is the very reason why Nicky NLD took out the shears and turned your garden maze into chopped spinach greens.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

Nicky NLD went too far. My family teasing him didn’t last forever.  It was fun and short-lived. You know Anthony Acute Stress is quite fond of Nicky NLD. Acute stress is normal. Any information Nicky received or event that makes him feels unpleasant stresses him out. It wasn’t like it was work related or he was caught in a traffic jam.

Hey, Charles Chronic Stress could have started in on Nicky NLD. Talkabout getting really bad results! Charles Chronic Stress just keeps pushing those magic buttons and continues his stress act. He refuses to go away.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

You and I both know that acute and chronic stress are the two major causes of faulty perception. Fanny Faulty Perception this is you. STRESS!

Fanny Faulty Perception:

Come on Sammy Spatial Relations, a girl has to cause a little drama once in a while in her life. It’s the way people perceive me and think about me that causes the stress. You know I can’t do this on my own. We all have life stresses. It could be financial, relationships, work-related, or health issues. Look deep inside of me and you will find out what it all boils down to. The individual perception and his/her thinking get them all worked up. I told you on Twitter to handle your business before your business handles you. How long will Nicky NLD be mad at us?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Nicky NLD just doesn’t pack his bags and go. He can empty the suitcase but the baggage will be there for a long time due to his memory. Your family is on his A-list and it will be years before it will move from the front to the back of his mind. I talked about what happens with Nicky NLD. We are still processing to this very day on ways to make the situation better.  This day is here once again. We have to find a better solution and minimize Nicky’s stress level. Did you invite your cousins Angela Anxiety, Pamela Panic Attack, and Sassy Suzy Stress?

Fanny Faulty Perception:

You know I did. It wouldn’t be a party without them.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Sassy Suzy Stress drives Nicky NLD up the wall. Around her, his stress doesn’t come out of the thin air. The air changes into the fog when he sees her. When she is out of sight his air is clear once again. Nostradamus can’t predict his stress level when panic, anxiety, and stress appears.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

I bought my dream car. The gas prices have gone up and now I’m stressed. I can’t afford the gas for this big 8 cylinder SUV.  I’m not selling my car. Maybe I should get another job. Sassy Suzy Stress is having work-related issues.  Anthony Acute Stress needs to cut back on his relationships. Three girlfriends are too much for him. Charles Chronic Stress has got health issues. Everything is wrong with him. I called Smokelbg up for some advice. She views this as an opportunity to learn. I like her advice but once out of her classroom, I will have a YouTube moment. The camera is rolling and I will be caught on tape doing something I feel I could have gotten away with. Anything or anyone can cause stress.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

The last time Nicky NLD visited Pamela Panic Attack, cousin to anxiety, it was disastrous. He was very uncomfortable and his heart sped up. He became cold one moment and hot the next. Nicky NLD tried to hide it but the fear was so intense it broke loose. I thought he was going to have a seizure but I was wrong. He complained of being nauseous. His hands begin to shake and perspiration covered his face. Nicky NLD said his stomach got queasy.  He shared with me what happened to his friend Tyrone Tourette when he hooked up with Pamela Panic Attack. Tyrone Tourette became light-headed and felt chest pains. He had shortness of breath and of course, his tics came out to play. Tyrone TS said Pamela Panic Attack is not the girl for him. He thought he was going to have a heart attack.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

How long did that last?

Sammy Spacial Relations:

Nicky NLD said the attacks didn’t last much longer than 10-15 minutes. He thought he was going crazy and his behavior would go over the cliff. As long as we provide him with coping skills and helpful strategies he will be equipped to handle the Easter Egg Hunt without any problems.

Fanny Faulty Perceptions:

How did things work out with Angela Anxiety?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Angela Anxiety is kind of common. She always seems to recur. Nicky NLD doesn’t want her around She will show up if you are physically ill or if it is a mental illness. Angela Anxiety can offset your mood and your emotional tone. The more fear Nicky NLD has his mood and thinking will be affected. You know he loves sports, especially football.

He had to work so hard just to be able to play the game.  This physical activity will be gone once Nicky NLD gets upset.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

Have you met the rest of Angela Anxiety’s family?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

I met some of them, but not all of them. I know for a fact we cannot invite Alice Agoraphobia. If Nicky NLD comes in contact with her he may stop traveling or get to the point he is afraid to be alone in the house. She makes him hate crowded places. Do not place her on the list for the Easter Egg Hunt.  Fanny Faulty Perception does not try it. Nicky NLD probably won’t show up.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

We could invite Shirley Specific Phobia.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Are you crazy? Why do you think Nicky NLD was running around butt-naked at the last Easter Egg Hunt?  We are trying to minimize his stress level not make him act and think irrational.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

I thought he wanted to shed some skin and I love the dance he did on the table.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Shirley Specific Phobia brought her pet snake, spiders, bees, and bugs. The dance you thought he was doing, he was trying to smash them and escape like Houdini. Nicky NLD is okay with dogs, birds, and flying. His friend doesn’t like needle injections, storms, and he is scared of water. Andy Autism is not that crazy about heights, automobile driving, and rodents.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

So I guess she won’t be invited.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

NO!

Fanny Faulty Perception:

I might as well scratch Sandra Social Phobia off the list. Nicky NLD hasn’t quite gotten over Arnesha, In The Look of Love Valentine’s Day,  for drinking up all of the liquor. Arnesha and Sandra are SAD (social anxiety disorder).  They have that intense fear of embarrassing themselves, of losing their bowels and bladder, and people thinking they are crazy. We gave them plenty of notice that we were going to have this egg hunt. Weeks passed and Sandra got so worked up and just couldn’t pull it off.  Remember when her sister got her in front of a crowd and told Sandra had wet her pants. As she got older I thought she would get better.  Sandra never recovered from the hurt of embarrassment.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

We don’t need her and Nicky NLD shaking and sweating at the same time.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

We got Gerald Generalize Anxiety. He would be kind of the minimum anxiety disorder for Nicky NLD.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

I really don’t want any anxiety around for Nicky NLD. I don’t know Gerald Generalize Anxiety.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

He would make a person lose sleep, have muscle tension, poor concentration and cause the person to be tired.  I recall when Nicky NLD was younger, his mom referred to him as being over-anxious. Gerald Generalize Anxiety doesn’t hang out with panic disorder, social phobia, and obsessive-compulsive orders or any other crew members. Now that Nicky

NLD is older he worries about his family, bills, and he drives me nuts talking about his girlfriend. Nicky NLD definitely doesn’t want Oscar OCD at the egg hunt.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Yeah, I heard about the squabble Tyrone Tourette and Oscar OCD have between them.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

OCD affects his friend Tyrone Tourette. Tyrone Ts was having tics and ended on the list (DSM-4) with Oscar OCD. Nicky NLD is still not on the list and it has made Tyrone Tourettes really angry. Oscar OCD has the NO NO THOUGHTS. These thoughts are grotesque,  forbidden, and very inappropriate, Oscar OCD own thoughts frighten him.

He is scared he may act upon his own impulsive thoughts. His thoughts are uncontrollable. He washes his hands a million times and ends up with dermatitis. Everyone and everything is contaminated. We are getting into the big league of anxiety and depression disorders. The risk gets high in Tyrone Tourette family. A lot of the people in his family develop OCD. Other mental disorders include people who pull their hair (trichotillomania), gambling, sexual behaviors, and shoplifting. Then you have the lesser of the evils. There are those who are obsessed with their looks.  They are either obsessed with the Barbie Doll factor/star in The Prince and The Frog.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

He’s out. No Easter Egg Hunt for Oscar OCD.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

You don’t want any of my family there.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Baby, you cause stress and your family is big-time stress inducers.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

What about Aaron Acute and Pierre Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

This is trauma and drama at its finest. Within the first month, Aaron’s drama starts right after his trauma.  Aaron went to the bar on 13th Wilshire where he was robbed, beaten, and stabbed.  He witnessed the killing of the owner of the bar. After that, he was running around like he had amnesia. When I tried to talk to him about what happened, he was very evasive. It appears as if his mind separated from his body. His memory was so poor he acted as if he was on the soap, Another World. Gerald General Anxiety came to visit. Aaron Acute Traumatic Stress took flight and fought any recall, flashback or dream that would be a friendly reminder to his hurt and pain. The acute stress persisted for three months.  He later was upgraded to post-traumatic stress.  Pierre Post Traumatic Stress lasted 6 more months. He started going downhill fast. Pierre is listed on the DSM4 as having low self-esteem, trouble in his relationships, permanently damaged goods, loss of hope in society and people. Pierre Post Traumatic Stress has started boozing and doing drugs. Well, I think in order to help Nicky NLD, you and your family will not be invited. Nicky NLD needs to be surrounded by people who will support, respect and stand with him. Your family just doesn’t have those qualities.

Advisory Alert: To the House and Senate Committee

In this story today there are those who have stood by the wayside and offered no moral support but were stress inducers. Our government has done the same. This story reveals characteristics and traits of people who had no common interest in the individual only to set the individual up for failure. Our government has done the same.

It is pointed out in the story how the character was ridiculed and disrespected. Our government has done the same. The story indicates how others have their own agenda to address their own issues. Our government has done the same. It opens the doorway for those in government who entertain the NO NO THOUGHTS to seek help, not act impulsively and destroy their homes and lives so the American People can maintain an ounce of dignity for those who are left in office. It is very hard to maintain the trust and respect of our government if the government continues to maintain the lack of dignity and respect of those in elected positions and others.

Our government has to learn to use the word NO in a positive format.   This word alone, NO, can reduce anxiety, panic, stress, and depression. NO can save lives.

It is time for our government to seek out the necessary help to once again become a healthy country, with a healthy heart, and a healthy mind.

SmokeLBG

No Shame In Their Game On ST. Patrick’s Day

by Linda Ballard

Scene: Tyrone Tourette, known as TS (cousin of Bobby Tourette), is having drinks and conversing at an Iris Pub called Slimery Otoole. Tyrone Tourette and Catrina Schizophrenia give some background information on themselves. Nicky NLD is waiting for the story to be told on how St.Patrick’s Day got started.  Tyrone Tourettes, before he gets too much green beer in his system, will tell the story. Nicky NLD is running out of patience.

Tyrone Tourette:

Nicky,  look at how crowded Slimery Otoole is tonight. It’s jammed packed. Tyrone is going to take you on his TS tour. I’ll Take You There just like the Staple Singers and tell you how St. Patrick’s Day came into existence.

Nicky NLD:

Tyrone are you sure you don’t want me to tell the story?

Tyrone Tourette:

Why should you tell the story?

Nicky NLD:

Once your tics kick in, it could get messy.

Catrina Schizophrenia:

What are Tics?

Tyrone Tourette:

Catrina Schizo, I have this neurological disorder where people describe me as having strange body movement over and over.  Some people have this image in their head of me having involuntary movement and making noises called tics. I don’t like to be stereotyped.

Catrina Schizo:

I feel you on that one Tyrone. I have this severe brain disorder that disables me from being able to carry out my life. People try to stereotype me and say that I hear voices others don’t hear. They say I believe other people are reading my mind, controlling my thoughts, and I’m plotting to harm someone.

Tyrone Tourette:

Catrina Schizo that IS what you do.

Catrina Schizo:

Wait a minute Tyrone… The key word is I MAY do these things… MAY, okay?

Tyrone Tourette:

Let me get your key and unlock your door. You are talking to Tyrone baby, I know what you do.

Nicky NLD;

Come on TS,  ease up off of Catrina  Schizo. This is a big deal for her. Remember we use to force her to talk. We knew when she didn’t take her medication and wasn’t in therapy.  I did not like seeing her in a catatonic state. She shut down as tight as a drum and was upset about it. I mean agitated.

Tyrone Tourette:

Look at you Nicky NLD, using analogies. I remember when you didn’t do double meanings.

Nicky NLD:

I have gotten better. As long as the person who uses the analogy explains it right away.  I won’t get lost in the conversation. Are you going to tell the story or not?

Tyrone Tourette:

Be patient Nicky NLD. I want people to know some things about me and Catrina Schizo. There is no shame in our game.

Nicky NLD:

You are right. People learned about me in the Who In The World Is NLD. Go ahead, man. Do your thang.

Tyrone Tourette:

Tourette’s syndrome (TS) is noticed around 7-10 years of age. It shows no prejudice. Tourette’s syndrome can affect anyone. Men are affected three times more than women. It can last a lifetime. In one’s teens, it can get butt-ugly. Later on, they may improve in the late teens on into their adulthood.

Catrina Schizo:

I want to learn more about your motor tics.

Tyrone Tourette:

Sure, sometimes they are simple motor tics. These are brief and I don’t use a lot of muscles. I can have eye blinking, making faces (grimaces),  jerking the head or shoulders or shrugging shoulders. With vocalizing tics I will clear my throat repetitively, sniffing, making grunting sounds, or barking. I use more muscle with complex tics. You can get the combo like at McDonald. I can make faces, twist my head and shrug my shoulders. There are times when people think that I’m doing the other complex tics on purpose. These are hopping, jumping, bending, sniffing, twisting, and touching objects. There are times when I have phrases of words that sound like jibber-jabber. It can get really bad if I do harm to myself and I punch myself in the face, or the cursing (coprolalia) or echolalia (repeating word or phrases of others).  Who do you know that does that hopping around thing?  Don’t answer that. That is another story another day.

Catrina Schizo:

I bet people think you are crazy.

Tyrone Tourette:

How are you going to call somebody crazy?  Are you sure this is me you are talking to and not someone you think you see or hear?

Catrina Schizo:

Do you really want to find out if I’m violent are not? You know, I have grown pretty fond of you. Sometimes we have the tendency to hurt the ones we are closest to.

Tyrone Tourette:

Girl, don’t make me unfriend you and push the button. I do have a Facebook account and I will Tweet you out.

Nicky NLD:

Is your collar on that shirt too tight around your neck? I hope your shirt is the right size. The last time you had neck tics.

Tyrone Tourette:

It’s all good. The last time I had tried to suppress my tics,  it only made them worse. I do better when my tics are expressed. Letting it build up is not good for me at all. A lot of times people think I’m doing this on purpose. I don’t know what causes Tourettes Syndrome. Let’s put it this way, I have unintentional behaviors that I don’t plan. It happens and my brains play a big part in the way I react. These neuro-behavioral problems can be caused by not paying attention, hyperactivity, and being impulsive. The guys (disorders) that hang out with me and are associated with me is OCD and ADHD. Even though my buddies know I can suffer from depression and anxiety they still remain to be my friends.

Hey, Catrina Schizophrenia you are up to bat. Tell us about yourself.

Catrina Schizo:

I have some positive symptoms about me.

Nicky NLD:

Is that positive good or positive bad?

Tyrone Tourette:

How can a positive symptom be bad?

Nicky NLD:

Tyrone TS, you are full of your ignorant oil (liquor). You can be HIV Positive, that is not good, and you could be like Catrina Schizophrenia, very delusional and not being able to face reality.

Catrina Schizo:

If you guys let me finish, I’ll tell you the rest.

Tyrone Tourette:

Ahhhhh Yeah Baby, Take us there (too much to drink).

Catrina Schizo:

As long as I take my meds, I’ll do okay. I do have psychotic behavior. Sometimes I lose touch with reality. This can come or go. Right now I’m not the healthiest person.Yes, I do hallucinate. I just really need to keep up with my treatment.

Tyrone Tourette:

I’m hallucinating right now.

Nicky NLD:

Tyrone you have enough green beer and Irish cream Whiskey in you already. I can’t tell you from Catrina Schizo.

Catrina Schizo:

It’s not like that Tyrone. I hear voices. My voices talk to me about the way I’m behaving. My voices order me to do things, alert me to dangers, and my voices can talk to each other.I had been hearing voices for a very long time before my family found out.  Bruce Willis could see people in the movie Sixth Sense. I see people too. I can feel people touching me. I can smell odors that others can”t smell. People try to tell me it’s nothing there but I know for a fact I see objects.

Tyrone Tourette:

You got some skills. Did you take your meds before you came out? You still go to treatment?

Nicky NLD:

Let her finish.

Tyrone Tourette:

Just checking Baby, this is the TS.  I did not want my tics to come out and play.

Catrina Schizo:

I am delusional. Many times people have proven me wrong and showed me what I am believing isn’t true. My delusions can get pretty bizarre. One time I thought Rachel Maddow was broadcasting my thoughts on her  TV program. Chaka Khan was out impersonating me. My boyfriend, Kanye West was mad because my album came out before his. He started cheating on me, then he tried to poison me. I reported him to the police for harassment. He had been spying on me for months.

Tyrone Tourette:

Your mind works like that for real?  Girl, I will trade you my disorder. I hope Jennifer Hudson got over me. I know she got married but she still wants me. Right.

Catrina Schizo:

These are things I believe. It is called delusions of persecution.

Tyrone Tourette:

Wooooh, I think you sobered me up. I have got to keep my eyes on you.

Catrina Schizo:

Sometimes it’s hard organizing my thoughts to make logical sense. I talk nonsensical and in garble. It is hard to understand me. I have thought to block. When I am talking to a person it feels like someone kidnapped my thoughts. You know what, I can even make up meaningless words called neologisms.

Nicky NLD:

I know someone who acts this way.

Tyrone Tourette:

Who?

Nicky NLD:

My girlfriend.

Tyrone Tourette:

Oh Man, you sure you don’t want to crash at my house until you have a talk with your girlfriend?

Nicky NLD:

Thanks for the offer but I can’t prolong what I suspected all the time.

Tyrone Tourette:

The offer stands whenever you are ready.

Catrina Schizo:

I’m not finished. I have body movement that I do over and over when I get agitated but not like yours Tyrone Tourette. Back in the day when there was little treatment, I would be in that catatonic state not responding to others. My main course meal is I hear voices. The negative symptoms are tricky and hard to identify. People mistake them for depressions or other symptoms. It disrupts ones normal emotion and behaviors. You notice how Meridia’s face doesn’t move (flat affect) and her voice is dull. It always seems to be monotone. No matter how hard she tries she never sticks to her planned activities. You have to stick a crowbar in her mouth to force her to speak.  She needs help with everyday tasks and I would constantly get on her about her hygiene. She was a hot mess. I thought she was lazy and trifling but this was all because she is schizophrenic. Nicky NLD you remember Rita?

Nicky NLD:

Yeah, I had a crush on Rosy Cheeks Rita. What happens to her?

Catrina Schizo:

She had some psychological testing. Her working memory wasn’t working. She didn’t have the ability to use information immediately after she learned it. Rita never stayed in focus or paid attention. Rita had problems with understanding the information to make a decision. This is called poor executive functioning. Cognitive symptoms are hard to find unless they are tested for.  These symptoms are understated. It was hard for her to keep a job, lead her life, and she was emotionally stressed out.

Nicky NLD;

That is a lot of information on my homegirl. Hey, can we get to the story now?

Tyrone Tourette:

Yeah, this is the new and improved Clarence Update.  St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated on March the 17. This is the day that St.Patrick died. We associate this day with the color green,  leprechauns, fairies, shamrocks, snakes, corn beef and cabbage, Irish music, green beer and Irish Creme Whiskey, and of course the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.

The Shamrock was a sacred plant that represented the rebirth of spring. The Celts called it a “seamroy”. The shamrock later represented the Irish breaking out and expressing themselves and taking pride in their culture and advocating for rights to be who they are. The English began to take over the Irish land and they didn’t want the Irish to speak their language nor practice their religion, which was Catholicism. The Irish said, “screw this we are wearing our shamrock and since we like the music we are going to sing it to the tune of Kool Moe Dee, How You Like Me Now”.  This pissed Queen Lizzy No.1 off.  Every artist and piper that was Irish got the ax. Nicky NLD you really are going to like this.

The Celts expressed themselves verbally. Since the APA(American Psychiatric Association) won’t open up a community for you this would have been the perfect place.  They rocked the house with their verbal expression of storytelling, singing, and dancing. Their oral culture of religion, history, and their folklore was passed down through the ages.

They got a little depressed but they never stopped singing “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross. Since they never gave up, today they’ve got popular bands like the Chieftains, Clancy Brothers, and Tommy Makem. You just keep singing that tune “Hold on I’m Coming” by Sam and Dave.

That story about the snakes was made up. St Patrick didn’t go up on a rock and banish thousands of snakes.  He took his behind up there. He drove his Orkin’s truck and pulled out his Real Kill snake spray gun. The snakes were a metaphor to get rid of the idea of worshiping all those crazy statutes the English worshiped.  Their traditional meal was always cabbage and corn beef.  Corn beef didn’t show up until the turn of the century.  The corned beef got pricy. So the Irish immigrants, now living in New York City on the lower east side, found a way to save money by bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan. They got the hook up from their Jewish neighbors and all went well.  Then you had shorty running around. These were the leprechauns known as “”.

Little dudes with tree stump bodies.  They were so paranoid about their pot of gold. They used voodoo, hoodoo, and doo doo to protect their funds.  The Leprechauns didn’t have anything to do with St. Patrick’s day. Do you see how lies get started?  In 1959 Walt Disney got creative and threw the leprechauns in the mix.  In 1962 Chicago River has become famous for being dyed green on St. Patrick’s Day.  The Irish grew in numbers and became the Green Machine and gain Respect just like Aretha Franklin’s song. They are no longer considered the Drunken Monkeys.

Catrina Schizo:

Can you get me a date with one of those little guys?

Nicky NLD:

See what you did, Tyrone Tourette. You know Catrina Schizo doesn’t need any more false reality in her head.

WARNING: To all those who read this story…  if there is anything in this story that sounds like you,  a friend or a family member, get to a doctor immediately. We don’t want any Shame In Your  Game.

The Who Not The View Featuring Darlene Dyslexia

by Linda Ballard

Scene:  A TV station, lights blazing and an actual live studio audience is roaring…

Mavis:

Welcome to “The Who, Not The View”  and our first guest, Darlene Dyslexia

Darlene Dyslexia:

It’s so good to be here Mavis. Love the earrings and shoes.

Mavis:

Can you tell our viewers today what new project you’ve taken on?

Darlene Dyslexia:

First I want to say something about my dear friend and longtime business partner Norvella NLD. She was unable to make it to the show today. We both have taken on the APA (American Psychiatric Association).  My girlfriend always includes her friends in her life and it’s about time that we start including her.  We are going to get Norvella NLD on the list.  Tell Anita Asperger not to worry.  When the DSM5 rolls around in May 2013 we are going to make sure that Aspergers hold their place.  Norvella NLD will have a place for the first time in our history.  Tell Wrong Planet.com to come down to earth and visit with us. We love them and we totally understand how they feel.

Mavis:

Do you mind if I call you DeDe?

Darlene Dyslexia:

Sure, I have been called lots of things in my lifetime.  I will be fine as long as people don’t get me confused with DeDe of Dextor Laboratory or Dare Devil of Marvel Comics.

Mavis:

I’m sure they won’t make that mistake. (sarcastic)

DeDe:

It’s really good seeing you after all these years.  Mad Mavis Behavior, you have really come a long way since back in the day. I just have to tell the viewers, girlfriend here wasn’t always the sweet  M&M milk chocolate.  Whoooo,  I’m proud of you.  You were a bitter b……… back in the day.

Mavis:

Hey! Hey!  This is a family show.  I’m here to talk about you.  Tell our viewers something about you (getting frustrated.)

DeDe:

Okay, don’t get your boxer shorts in a bunch.

Mavis:

Just answer the question. (steamed)

DeDe:

Now dyslexia is a learning disability that damages a person’s ability to read.  It will rise up and show its ugly head. People will notice that someone with dyslexia will have problems with speaking and spelling. When someone with dyslexia hears the sound of the words it is very hard for them to interpret and spell the word.

Mavis:

Who is the lowest man on the totem pole in your thought processing?

DeDe:

Well, Mavis, it would be what I hear, see, and notice.

Mavis:

Is your IQ connected to dyslexia?

DeDe:

I’m glad you asked.  No.   With me and others that have dyslexia,  reading and our thought process develop separately.  Norvella NLD shows strengths and weaknesses in her IQ.  My  IQ is normal but the reading kills me and this is where  Norvella NLD  kicks my tail and excels.  We are really just the opposite of each other. I have a left hemisphere disability.  Norvella NLD has a right hemisphere disability. We get along so well.  They say opposites attract.  She has a developmental disability that is neurological. My disability is not-neurological that is connected to the brain caused by factors in the brain that affect my ability to read, write and spell.

Mavis:

Is dyslexia genetic?

DeDe:

In some families, it can be inherited. Recently they have identified genes that show the person can develop dyslexia.  The Ronnie Booze family got it.  Girl, his family has got a whole lot going on.

Mavis:

Do you know if  Norvella NLD syndrome is inherited?

DeDe:

The last time I heard there wasn’t anything genetic linked to NLD.

Mavis:

Did they ever decide on a definition for you?

DeDe:

Girlfriend, I’m all over the place and it is hard to pin me down.  Maybe I can come back and do a show on all those hypothesis and theories about dyslexia and me.

Mavis:

DeDe let’s try to get through this show. So is that a yes or no on the definition of your name (frustrated)?

DeDe:

That would be no.  All of these associations have not reached a consensus on the true meaning of dyslexia. Don’t you think that suits me well?

Mavis:

I think it fits you perfect (irritated).  How did you do in pre-school?

DeDe:

Well, I have speech delays.  It takes me forever to learn new words.  Nursery rhymes I just dread.  They are so hard for me.  Sometimes my letters reverse on me.  Remember in the movie when Keifer Sutherland didn’t realize he was dead.  He passed by a shop and the reflection in the glass had the word Mirror reversed.  Kind of, sort of,  like that.

Mavis:

Earth to DeDe.

DeDe:

Sorry, I got carried away.

Mavis:

How did you do from grade 1-6?

DeDe:

Man, the alphabets were tough. Rhyming words and counting the syllables in the words are very hard. I cannot for the life of me put those sounds with the letters.  I needed an interpreter when it came to written words. If I hear a word with more than one syllable, me and Norvella NLD can really mess it up.

Mavis:

When you got older and entered Middle School, did it get any better?

DeDe:

No, my spelling was horrible like my girlfriend Norvella NLD.  She had this dictionary thing going on. You could look at her word even if it looked like it was spelled wrong, you could tell what the word was. It was strange…  it still looked like her word was 100% accurate in spelling.  My word was just wrong. The teachers didn’t understand and we both got an F.

Now I don’t think Novella NLD should have got an F.  I had a hard time reading out loud, everything was out-of-order, and I skipped over words.  Any word that was close enough to the word that I was supposed to say, I would use that word in its place.  Novella NLD and I both have trouble with organization skills.  We also have trouble with time on task.

These skills need to be in a treatment center, treating it on a daily basis.   I can’t put words to the right meaning. We both failed to know what is alike and different in words and letters.  Girl, we can crunch the letter together like you defragment folders on a computer.  We just can’t get the spacing between the words.  If Novella NLD and I have not seen the word before, it will definitely not be pronounced right.

Mavis: How are you getting along today?

DeDe:

Well, Mavis, I got so good at hiding being dyslexia that I fooled myself.  Everything runs its course and will reveal itself sooner or later.  People began to see through me. I want to make this perfectly clear to my audience.  I do not write words backward or move words around.  I have a tendency to put words that are not related to words that should be there.

Mavis:

What other learning disability you have in common with Norvella NLD?

DeDe:

Well, we both have problems in math (dyscalculia). Simple math can be difficult.  Higher math like geometry can be more understandable.  Higher math can become difficult and be very abstract like geometry to NLD.  We have problems with writing (dysgraphia).  It is hard to put our thoughts on paper.  Thank God for the computer.  I know Norvella NLD forgets letter formation and has pain and numbness in her fingers.

Mavis:

Well, Darlene Dyslexia, better known as AKA DeDe……..

DeDe:

Hey, did you ask me if you could call me DeDe??

Mavis:

On that note, I think we better go.

Darlene Dyslexia:

Okay, love you Novella NLD.  Hurry up and get well girlfriend.  I will be calling the AAP.  I mean the APA. Tell Missy Elliot, Queen Latifah, and McLyte that they can ball up my contract.  If this album has to rhyme it’s a no go. You girls know I have a major problem in this area.  Love You All.

Mavis:

You heard it from the Who Not The View and our guest,  Darlene Dyslexia.

Look of Love NLD Valentines’s Day

by Linda Ballard

The Scene opens with a loving couple talking to each other.

Cynthia:

Did you bring me that special edition of Ebony Magazine?

Leon:

Yes, I did.

Cynthia:

I”m talking about the one that has the three different covers on it.

Leon:

I got this baby girl.

Cynthia:

Is it the edition with the Obama’s on it?

Leon:

Yes, it is.

Cynthia:

Does it say 15 Hottest Couples?

Leon:

Okay, stop right there. You’re rocking my list. That was eight questions. When you sent me to the store, you gave me too many directions. You wanted the magazine, avocados and hair dye. I forgot the other stuff.  So I went back to pick up BeBe so he could help me out.

Cynthia:

You went to Bebe’s house!  Is that why it took you so long?

Leon:

Bebe is my interpreter. We have been hanging out together for years. He’s my trusted friend and he has my back.

Cynthia:

Yeah right, Bebe is a knucklehead.

Leon:

Hey, you don’t need to be dissing my friend.  I have a hard time multitasking. If you just give me 3-5 things to do, I will be just fine.  But girl, you went on and on.

Cynthia:

So, are you telling me that I worked your nerves?

Leon:

Hey, I did not say that. I’m saying that if you give me too many directions it’s going to set me up for failure.  Baby, I have problems with multitasking.  It is on my list.

Cynthia:

You and your list.  All I asked you to do is get me a few things from the store, stop at Arnesha,  get my curling iron and pick up my dress from the cleaners. You forgot that but you didn’t forget Bebe.  Since he is your interpreter, why don’t you marry him? Interpret that!

Leon:

Ooh, don’t tempt me, girl.

Cynthia:

What did you say?

Leon:

My friends Andre Autism, Arnell Asperger and Ace ADHD have the same problem with staying focused and multitasking.

Cynthia:

No Leon, your friends have problems with their names all starting with A. There are 26 letters in the alphabet.  Is that all their parents can come up with is the letter A?

Leon:

Come on. Your friends name Arnesha.

Cynthia:

Leon, don’t go there.  Just bring me the magazine and tell me what you see. Okay, come over here.  Are you paying attention?

Leon:

Yeah, baby.

Cynthia:

Well…?

Leon:

Michelle and Barack have pretty teeth.

Cynthia:

Get out of here.  You did not just say that.  They’re smiling.  Check out the look in their eyes.  Leon, this is the look of passion and true love.

Leon:

Girl, you are over the top. So I am supposed to see all that from a look on their faces in a magazine photo?  Right.

Cynthia:

You never look at me anyway when I’m talking to you. Hell, I will take a cross-eyed look right about now…  Anything!

Leon:

Cynthia it is going to make you mad. It is on my list.

Cynthia:

Here we go. I’m so tired of that list. Where Leon? Show it to me.

Leon:

It is right there with nonverbal communication. That’s why I can’t look at you or tell you what mood you are in. I can’t read facial expressions.  This has an effect on the way I act toward your friends. You get on me about that television show, Lie To Me. It teaches facial expression and body languages.  I’m really trying to learn.

Cynthia:

Oh, Leon, my friends will help you.

Leon:

Thanks, baby, I’ll keep looking at the program… and I’ll keep reading this book on different cultures and what their gaze means.

Cynthia:

Leon, I didn’t know you could read.  Just kidding.

Leon:

If we were Asians and we gazed at each other like that,  it could mean that we are rude, aggressive and disrespectful.  Japanese lower their gaze in respect. Our culture is more flirtatious. In some cultures, it means that you are putting a spell on someone by giving them the evil eye.  They even did a study on children who tested and gave better answers when they were not looking at the examiner.  It takes a lot of mental processing when you are looking at someone.  The children that look at the examiner did not do as well.  Hey, it is just a theory.

Cynthia:

Wow, Leon, that is really interesting.

Leon:

Cynthia… about your girlfriend Arnesha…

Cynthia:

Yeah, Leon.

Leon:

She has SAD

Cynthia:

No Leon, don’t you mean she IS sad?

Leon:

No, SAD means social anxiety disorder. She is petrified of embarrassing herself. Arnesha has an intense fear of people talking about her. Whenever Arnesha comes over here and we are going to the party, she starts pouring on the alcohol. She starts shaking, complaining that she has nausea, and pouring out the sweats. Did we ever make it to the party?  I know that is your homegirl,  but you really need to talk to her about seeing a doctor.

Cynthia:

Oh, Leon, I didn’t know you cared.

Leon:

I don’t.  She is drinking up all my Hennessy. Just kidding!  Gotcha back.

Cynthia:

Leon, I see you’re getting better with the jokes. Boy, I’m going to grey you up yet.

Leon:

I just wanted to include Arnesha… I know how it feels to be left out.

Cynthia:

Leon, I’m so proud of you. You have really come a long way.

Leon:

Cynthia, I really appreciate you too.  I know it has been hard for you but thanks for hanging out.

Cynthia:

Leon, can you try to give me that look Barack is giving Michelle?

Leon:

Girl it’s going to take a long time before I master that one. Will you hang tough with me that long?

Cynthia:

Well, as long as you keep trying.  For now, I will take Alicia and Swizz or we can go for a Will and Jada smile and gaze.

Leon:

Baby, try not to rock my list. It took lots of work getting me to express my feelings. Just please be patient and together we will achieve one skill at a time.  At least I’m not Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in Ghost saying “Ditto”.

Cynthia:

I love you, Leon.

Leon:

Happy Valentine’s Day Cynthia.

Cynthia:

Good Night.

Superbowl Game Time, Rockin’ the List

by Linda Ballard

For the first time in the forty-year history of the franchise … the NLD’ers.   It has been a painstaking miniseries and a Pee Wee Herman’s Big Adventure, but it finally paid off.  The fans are quite mystified by the NLD’ers.  They have been around for years but no one has been scoping them out.

Walk with me.  I see Commissioner District.  Commissioner District can you tell me anything about the NLD’ers?  “No, who in the hell are these guys and what spectrum do they come from?”  The Commissioner commented:  “I know about Aspergers and my money on them.”

Aspergers is a tough team to beat.  They are not very sociable.  It is not that making friends and developing relationships don’t matter, but they only hold one special interest.  They go on and on about that interest and people become frustrated and think they are boring or only into themselves.  Well, it won’t be any love lost between the NLD’ers and the Aspies.  There will be no Hollywood hugs and kisses between them.

So, Bobby Tourette, what is the big rivalry between the NLD’ers and the Aspies?   Remember we have kids in the house, just hold the cursing down!  Well, the NLD’ers hold many interests.  They can converse on any topic.  The Aspies think that NLD’ers is the know-it-all.  NLD’ers volume gets pumped up on their vocals and then they’re in your face and in your space.  This is not intentional.  Hey, I get along with the NLD’ers.  The Aspies will let you know they are not interested.  You might as well find someone or something else to do.

Mark Autism you have been in the game for over thirty years.  You know what it is like to be Number #1.  What is your perspective on the game?  Jack PDD-NOS  it is like being at the top of the Billboard’s records chart. This is a very recognizable label.  You know how that works Jack PDD-NOS. Take, for instance, you are a little bit of this and a little of that and not enough to qualify for anyone’s team.  You need a real label.  Dr. Psych.  despises you.  Dude, get rid of the NOS (not otherwise specified) and you can come out and play with the big boys.  People might think you are that NOS caffeine drink.

Andre ADHD pays attention and tries to stay focused on the commentary,  but he can’t put the Munch and Crunch down.  How do you think the NLD’ers will do against the Aspies?  Well, Mark Autism,  this will be a bloodbath.  Right now,  Aspergers is pretty hot under the collar.  Dr. Psych and his followers decided to drop the Aspies off the list and put them down with NOS, of all players.  Do you know this will affect their insurance, state funding, and definitely affect their educations?

We are in for one hell of a game. I don’t know why they would have picked the American Psychiatric Association to moderate the game.  When the Aspies see the APA they are going to go off and start cursing like Bobby Tourette.  They are so focused on the list.  I wonder will they be able to play the game?  Do not mess with the Aspies special interest. The NLD’er just might pull this one-off. They have a lot going on. Winning this game means a lot to the underdog. For the first time in the history of forty years, there will be more testing, state funding, insurance coverage, school reformation, and they will be recognizable. NLD’ers will take their rightful place on the DSMV, hold their trophy in the air and wave it like they just don’t care. Keep your heads to the sky and they will be Rockin’ the List.

We Need An Interpreter

by Linda Ballard

You know, we need an interpreter. This goes out to all my NLD associates. I chose the eyeglasses with one lens analogy because it gives a distorted view. This is not the whole picture. We get false impressions of what we see and how we interpret the information. We may miss the body language. Much of the nonverbal information is missed. Perfect, I don’t get the whole picture either!

English is truly a second language. Just like how you may interpret other foreign languages, English is foreign to me. If you start adding METAPHORS, SIMILES, and PERSONIFICATIONS, things really become abstract. You really have some explaining to do if you start talking to me with idioms and sarcasm…. don’t bother going there.

People make comments and say “It flew over your head.” I would say I did not have the ability to “get it.” I did not understand the meaning. Did the person explain it to me? This is very frustrating and makes people angry. Just say it in plain English. It’s time to break it down.

So in the world of Harry Potter, I’m going to need a dictionary. So many of the words seem abstract in these books. Twilight was simply horrible. We will be sitting in the movie theater and you will become my interpreter. This will continue throughout the movie.

Here come the famous questions…

What was your conclusion? How can you draw inference upon what happened? I have an idea if you POINT IT OUT and EXPLAIN IT all to me, I will give you an answer. This is where we begin to pour the concrete. I need CONCRETE, EXPLICIT, and FACTUAL INFORMATION.

People may think I am being sarcastic. I’m not. Do you know what I am talking about? Truth is, I don’t have a clue about sarcasm. It all sounds foreign to me.

Does this sound familiar? Do you have anybody in mind?