2012 SuperBowl Flare Up_Look Who’s Rockin’ The List

Scene: It is showtime, SuperBowl Sunday, and the guys are going down to ARTHUR BRYANTS to pick out their favorite football foods. Bobby TOURETTES, Andre ADHD, Jack PDD-NOS, Mark AUTISM, Mitt ASPERGER, and Leroy NLD are on the scene for the festivity.

Leroy NLD is checking out the prices because his girlfriend is not so big on cooking. He wants to show off his surround sound theater system that was built-in his basement by TJ SAVANT & COMPANY.

It is Bobby Tourettes turn to pay for the football bash today. Bobby is steamed under the collar at Mitt ASPERGERS comments. Mitts ASPERGER has difficulty interacting socially.

They are inside the restaurant and waiting in line to order their food. Mitt ASPERGER is looking on the wall. He can’t believe his eyes nor can he believe who has eaten at Arthur Bryants.

He has never had a REAL Community experience nor has he ever eaten in the heart of the city.

Leroy NLD:

When I wrote CHARACTERISTICS OF, this was in no way to bring any disservice to people who are diagnosed with NLD SYNDROME. We don’t get the chance to say or act like these PRETENDERS/CONTENDERS. Our problem is NEUROLOGICAL with UNINTENTIONAL BEHAVIORS. I wonder what is their real problem?

Our butts would get hauled off to jail, medicated, and strapped down in a psycho ward. We sure as hell wouldn’t be in the Zone on PSYCHO TALK with BIG ED. Look at the gaffes MITT ROMNEY makes.

He has so many soundbites on his INTENTIONAL BEHAVIORS you can make a Documentary Mini-Series on the Discovery Channel. When I speak, they are real social blunders. I will repeat my blunders several TIMES in the same way until someone corrects me.

I do not understand that it is a mistake. You must remember a lie can never be told the same way twice. When I open my mouth you will begin to realize something is wrong. Ain’t gonna be no paraphrasing. I don’t do that. There is no such thing as retracting my statement.

My mind processes information differently. I don’t read people and people definitely don’t read me. Ask me or anyone else that has been diagnosed with NLD SYNDROME a question 20 TIMES. Guess what, you are going to get the same answer 20 TIMES.

You’re not going to get an endorsement from me. If your policy stinks you will be the first to know. MITT ROMNEY has to buy votes, buy states, and buy friends. MITT ROMNEY was PASS INTERFERENCE on OBAMACARE.

His plan had a lot of the same ingredients of OBAMACARE. MITT ROMNEY passed on the plan. The first thing PRESIDENT OBAMA did when he was sworn into office was Bridge the gap by developing friends and relationships in Foreign countries to strengthen Foreign policy.

He made 4 vital phone calls. He was reaching out to other nations. The next day he was at the State Department visiting with the foreign service officers getting everyone PUMPED UP and ENERGIZED once again on worldwide international relationships.

NLDERS have a horrible TIME with relationships. All relationships are FOREIGN to us. Why do you think people with NLD SYNDROME need an Interpreter and an Understanding Manual? A lot of people underestimated the PRESIDENT on FOREIGN AFFAIRS but he caught on pretty quick.

There is a lot more than WE THE PEOPLE and OUR NATION understands under the leadership of PRESIDENT OBAMA. He has been to more countries than any PRESIDENT that has ever been in office. On the LIST of CHARACTERISTICS OF, he definitely ROCKS THE LIST and gets an A+.

Who is Rockin’ The List of BEHAVIORS? What CONTENDERS and government officials are getting away with PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSAULTS?

Bobby Tourette:

Leroy, why didn’t you talk to Mitt before coming to the inner city. Mitt ASPERGER got a lot to learn and today is not the day to teach him. You know he is going to get on the topic he likes. He will not be able to tell when others have lost interest in his topic.

Mitt ASPERGER will continue on this topic for days. You know this will piss someone off. I just wanted a barbecue sandwich. Hell, I don’t want to be on ARTHUR BRYANTS menu as Bobby burnt ends. Lord, please let me save my A.. for another day.

I hope we don’t get into a fight like we did the last TIME. SUPER BOWL or not, I ain’t going to jail. We do not have a get out of jail free card like MITT ROMNEY, NEWT GINGRICH, and RICK SANTORUM. The courts don’t understand Asperger or any other disorder.

Leroy NLD:

Yes, I heard him. Did you hear what you said? Inner City is fighting words also. I wanted MITT ASPERGER to get a real cultural outing. Bobby, you always correct me. Everyone we hang with need lots of correcting. I just wanted to see if Mitt ASPERGER could connect to the people.

I thought it was cool when Mitt ASPERGER got slapped for trying to give people handouts. He will learn before the end of the day. This is the perfect opportunity.

Bobby Tourette:

Yeah, the last TIME we went to jail I didn’t need that type of opportunity. Man, that lady’s mouth was pretty tough. Not that I have room to talk, when I get angry, my Tics kick in.

The next TIME he will think twice before he tells someone, “I bet you $20,000 you can’t get any poorer”. Insensitive fool!

Even I know better than to make people feel they are beneath me. He has one special interest and it sho ain’t people. I love the smell of money in the morning, Mr. Money-bags of MONOPOLY, MITT ASPERGER. We know OUR Mitt’s behaviors is UNINTENTIONAL.

MITT ROMNEY has many soundbites stating he doesn’t care about the VERY POOR or the VERY RICH. I just want to hear MITT ROMNEY man-up and say he wants to destroy the middle class and confess he is angry because PRESIDENT OBAMA can sing better than him. Jealousy, NOT!

You know MITT ROMNEY is looking at those numbers. All the experience he has with spreadsheets and making money. You know his butt is ROASTED TOAST now that economic conditions have improved. The President has one hell of a chance of beating MITT ROMNEY’S drawers off.

MITT ROMNEY would need to be AFRICAN AMERICAN today instead of wishing he was MEXICAN eating at ARTHER BRYANTS. I would love to see his reactions. The good news is this restaurant receives all races extremely well. Bill O’Reilly has got to eat here.

Andre ADHD:

I know how hard it is for Mitt ASPERGER. I have said some stupid things myself but my medication alerted me not to get too crazy and bet with him. “OOPS,” did I just tell everyone I take legalized drugs? It sounds better until you overdose.

Then you realize you have a substance abuse problem. In my neighborhood, you are just a hard-core addict with stolen prescriptions. Why do we get the worst end of the stick? Jan Brewer, the governor of Arizona, gets to be called RADICAL.

Jan Brewer’s extreme behavior was an offensive personal foul and a 15-yard penalty for getting into the face of the PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES. She should be fined and ejected from her position as Governor of Arizona.

She is a repeat offender and the ADAM PAC MAN JONES of the REPUBLICAN PARTY. Jan Brewer’s unnecessary roughness is for attacking the teachers, firefighters, and police officers. The Republicans in Arizona feel they can silence the voice of the UNION and any other public servants.

Whatever rites the people have will be stripped away by the REPUBLICANS. One thing they can’t take away is my inabilities of focusing, PAYING ATTENTION, nor my giant boulder. Every day of my life I’m leaning more and more toward becoming Bi-Polar.

Jack PDD-NOS

You know ANDRE ADHD, you remind me of RICK PERRY Off SIDE. You are off your line of scrimmage and you tussled with getting the answer right. Did they ever get your medication straight? Hey ANDRE ADHD over here, you just can’t stay focused. Get over here!

Folks in this restaurant think I’m talking to myself. NEWT GINGRICH is UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS and KNEE CAPPING. He is really striking below the belt. NEWT is trying to destroy MITT ROMNEY. I couldn’t believe HERMAN CAIN endorsed NEWT GINGRICH. HERMAN CAIN, “MR SHUCKY DUCKY,” of all people.

Everyone knows HERMAN CAIN has been shucked like corn and his brain is plucked like a duck.

Mark Autism:

Leroy NLD talks out loud to himself. He explained it as processing his thoughts. Leroy said if he hears what he verbalizing he can process the information better. When LEROY NLD starts processing out loud, people think he is crazy.

Bobby Tourette always says when Leroy gets mad he will hold that thought and won’t ever forget what someone has done to him. Leroy is HOLDING. He processes so much information. Leroy NLD struggles with applying old information to new ideas.

Adaptability is difficult for him but he is willing to learn. I can’t say that about the REPUBLICAN PARTY. They have a choice. The REPUBLICAN PARTY’S intentions are to HOLD the ECONOMY back. They refused to ADAPT. It benefits the REPUBLICAN PARTY and the 1% to keep things as they are.

Look at the BEHAVIORS of RON PAUL. Wouldn’t his BEHAVIOR be call HOLDING? RON PAUL gets a 10-yard Penalty for HOLDING onto past ideologies. He does tell you what is on his mind. The REPUBLICANS want him to go away because he exhibits annoying BEHAVIOR.

LEROY NLD displays annoying BEHAVIOR, not by choice, and we don’t isolate him. Everyone in our gang of six has annoying BEHAVIORS. We are singled out, called weird, and isolated from society. We have delays and our finest moments.

Mitt Asperger:

MITT ROMNEY wants to delay the economy and blame PRESIDENT OBAMA for making the economy WORSE. This is UNSPORTMAN LIKE CONDUCT and EXCESSIVE CELEBRATION. He needs to be fined and suspended. Maybe DONALD TRUMP will fire him. Can you believe this? Look whose picture is on the wall.

Is that John MCCAIN? There’s SARAH PALIN! Is that JIMMY CARTER? NO! That can’t be BILL CLINTON! It’s a miracle they came down in this community and ate with you people.

Bobby Tourette:

Did you just say, “YOU PEOPLE?” Hold up! You begin to sound like MITT ROMNEY. I let it pass when you made the comment about me paying with food stamps. I should have corrected you. Your NEWT GINGRICH remark didn’t go over to well and your BEHAVIOR got WORSE.

I know you didn’t mean any harm. You need to be held ACCOUNTABLE for your inappropriate remarks. I know you are Rocking the List but it does not excuse you. What you just said caused me to FLARE UP. It feeds my anger.

Mitt Romney has made many negative remarks, straight up lied about the remarks, and his remarks feed the PEOPLE’S anger. NEWT GINGRICH thinks he’s slick. There is nothing subliminal about his remarks.

Once you have survived HATRED or RACISM you will always know the flavor, the color, and the stench it leaves behind. Leroy NLD is our food order ready? We need to get out of here before Mitt ASPERGER cause a Race War.

The last TIME it was Nicky NLD, Leroy’s cousin, who got us thrown out for his remarks.

Leroy NLD:

Hey, man, the food is ready. Let’s head out. Well, Mitt ASPERGER what do you think about our trip today?

Mitt Asperger:

This is a real colored experience. What! Did I say something wrong?

Bobby Tourette:

We are going to get out of here and I will explain it on the way. You better be glad you are MITT ASPERGER instead of MITT ROMNEY or NEWT GINGRICH. Don’t expect a soundbite. Your mouth just wrote a check your A.. can’t pay for.

In the January Archives of 2011 go back and refresh your memory. Read NLD Superbowl Pregame. Also read Superbowl Flare-up NLD and Superbowl Game Time, Rockin’ the List posted in the February archives.

Superbowl Game Time, Rockin’ the List

For the first time in the forty-year history of the franchise … the NLD’ers.   It has been a painstaking miniseries and a Pee Wee Herman’s Big Adventure, but it finally paid off.  The fans are quite mystified by the NLD’ers.  They have been around for years but no one has been scoping them out.

Walk with me.  I see Commissioner District.  Commissioner District can you tell me anything about the NLD’ers?  “No, who in the hell are these guys and what spectrum do they come from?”  The Commissioner commented:  “I know about Aspergers and my money on them.”

Aspergers is a tough team to beat.  They are not very sociable.  It is not that making friends and developing relationships don’t matter, but they only hold one special interest.  They go on and on about that interest and people become frustrated and think they are boring or only into themselves.  Well, it won’t be any love lost between the NLD’ers and the Aspies.  There will be no Hollywood hugs and kisses between them.

So, Bobby Tourette, what is the big rivalry between the NLD’ers and the Aspies?   Remember we have kids in the house, just hold the cursing down!  Well, the NLD’ers hold many interests.  They can converse on any topic.  The Aspies think that NLD’ers is the know-it-all.  NLD’ers volume gets pumped up on their vocals and then they’re in your face and in your space.  This is not intentional.  Hey, I get along with the NLD’ers.  The Aspies will let you know they are not interested.  You might as well find someone or something else to do.

Mark Autism you have been in the game for over thirty years.  You know what it is like to be Number #1.  What is your perspective on the game?  Jack PDD-NOS  it is like being at the top of the Billboard’s records chart. This is a very recognizable label.  You know how that works Jack PDD-NOS. Take, for instance, you are a little bit of this and a little of that and not enough to qualify for anyone’s team.  You need a real label.  Dr. Psych.  despises you.  Dude, get rid of the NOS (not otherwise specified) and you can come out and play with the big boys.  People might think you are that NOS caffeine drink.

Andre ADHD pays attention and tries to stay focused on the commentary,  but he can’t put the Munch and Crunch down.  How do you think the NLD’ers will do against the Aspies?  Well, Mark Autism,  this will be a bloodbath.  Right now,  Aspergers is pretty hot under the collar.  Dr. Psych and his followers decided to drop the Aspies off the list and put them down with NOS, of all players.  Do you know this will affect their insurance, state funding, and definitely affect their educations?

We are in for one hell of a game. I don’t know why they would have picked the American Psychiatric Association to moderate the game.  When the Aspies see the APA they are going to go off and start cursing like Bobby Tourette.  They are so focused on the list.  I wonder will they be able to play the game?  Do not mess with the Aspies special interest. The NLD’er just might pull this one-off. They have a lot going on. Winning this game means a lot to the underdog. For the first time in the history of forty years, there will be more testing, state funding, insurance coverage, school reformation, and they will be recognizable. NLD’ers will take their rightful place on the DSMV, hold their trophy in the air and wave it like they just don’t care. Keep your heads to the sky and they will be Rockin’ the List.

Super Bowl Flare Up NLD

We are counting down the days to the Superbowl. Emotions are running high. Our tempers are flaring up. Americans go berserk when competitive sports are involved.

Can I have a spotlight down here, please?  I just need to take a closer look at some of the players.  Thank you.  Maybe this will shine the light on why our team players are having these outbursts of anger, and explosive behaviors.

Leroy, get over here and stop acting like you own the team.  I know you don’t do well with criticism.  You upset a few of your teammates when you get loud and you were in their face.  Don’t be upset if they change the color of your shoes. You look like a Demanding Diva to the coach and the owner.

Let’s get one thing straight.  Leroy is not emotionally disturbed.  He has some negative behaviors but he is not a behavior problem.  In the Sunday paper, it had Leroy Syndrome painted as an arrogant a-hole.   He is not arrogant and he wasn’t having a bad hair day.  Leroy Syndrome is NLD.  Leroy does Leroy.  He does himself.  Leroy does have other special interests.

It appears that Leroy may have a know-it-all attitude.  He has trouble with authority figures and has a problem with identifying who is in charge.  So coach Asperger, just explains to him in a nice calm voice that the team is not his.  Sorry Coach, I forgot you have the same problem with a loud voice.  We will find someone else to do it.  Leroy does better with praises than with criticism.  Tell Mike Ditka this is good for Leroy’s self-esteem.  What is wrong with positive feedback?  We all know Leroy needs a lot of praises.

Bring that bucket over here.  Is that the understanding bucket?  That’s the wrong bucket.  Get it out of here!

Tell Dwayne and Boo Boo don’t get mad.  I know he talks loud.  The other players Asperger,  Autism, and ADHD talks loud also.  He did not mean to sound threatening.  Leroy has a right hemisphere brain disorder.  He is unable to comprehend changes in voices and body language.  The non-verbal element of his speech is disturbed.  Leroy doesn’t have rhythm.  Literally.  That’s in his voice and tone of his speech.  He can’t read the facial expressions which play a part in his loud voice.  Calmly say to him, lower your voice.  He just needs to be cued in.

Leroy would you tell them that those tennis shoes are not your lucky piece charm.  “Yes, I have a hard time adapting to change and the coach did not let me know ahead of time.”  Leroy, is there anything else you would like to tell us?  “Well, the shoes are important to me.  I have a difficult time with what is relevant or irrelevant.  I talk off task or get away from the subject.  When people don’t explain themselves and they ask me did I understand, I say no.”  Well, you heard it firsthand from Leroy Syndrome.  This will help you understand why people tell you NO.

To the owner, you have a manual on how the game is played.  It is time to get a manual on Leroy Syndrome.

This one is dedicated to Barack and Michelle Obama.  Understanding NO is important.

NLD Superbowl – Pregame

SUPERBOWL SUNDAY NLD PRE-GAME

Superbowl Sunday is the unofficial national holiday for most men across America. This day is of special interest to wives who suspect their husbands have NLD. During the Superbowl, many men will appear to focus only on football with absolutely no regard to Valentine’s Day (which comes only eight days later)! Is this NLD?

Here is an inventory list of ladies who suspect that something is wrong with their man:

· “All that and a bag of chips” actually refers to Tostitos Artisan Chips and Mango Salsa

· Increased talk about buying a large screen television

· Frequent blurting of statistical information on all the players

· Constant talk of linebackers, defensive line, secondary, corner & safety back

· Talk of an offensive line, running backs, wide receivers and tight ends.

It’s okay. Men suffering from NLD will probably mention nothing about it being only eight more days until Valentine’s Day. NLDers often have an incorrect concept of time and tracking. If a man doesn’t have it programmed in his computer, iPad or phone that day, it is not an important event. This problem is specific to NDLers and Game Day.

Don’t worry, ladies. There are strategies and coping skills to help you through the big event. My advice is to call the Love Doctor, Michael Baisden. Tell Dr. Baisden how your man is not paying attention to you, how he acts like he doesn’t love you and that he hasn’t even mentioned Valentine’s Day. I’m thinking the response from Dr. Baisden would go something like this:

“Hey, Baby. This is the Michael Baisden Show. Stop tripping. Well, He’s not paying attention to you because he has Attention Deficit Disorder and you are not the major focus of the day. As for your comment that he ‘acts like he doesn’t love you,’ that is not the case at all. He does love you, but it is hard for him to express himself, and love is an abstract concept, Baby. Be patient. The reason that he doesn’t mention Valentine’s Day is he has lost all track of space and time. Don’t worry, Baby. When they say ‘Men are from Mars and women are from Venus’ they really mean ‘your man is NLD.’ Baby girl, read up on it and don’t be so hard on a brother. If you can’t find any clarity from your man, rent another man for the day. This is Michael Baisden, and I’m out.”