Monthly Archives: January 2011

NLD Superbowl – Pregame

SUPERBOWL SUNDAY NLD PRE-GAME

Superbowl Sunday is the unofficial national holiday for most men across America. This day is of special interest to wives who suspect their husbands have NLD. During the Superbowl, many men will appear to focus only on football with absolutely no regard to Valentine’s Day (which comes only eight days later)! Is this NLD?

Here is an inventory list of ladies who suspect that something is wrong with their man:

· “All that and a bag of chips” actually refers to Tostitos Artisan Chips and Mango Salsa

· Increased talk about buying a large screen television

· Frequent blurting of statistical information on all the players

· Constant talk of linebackers, defensive line, secondary, corner & safety back

· Talk of an offensive line, running backs, wide receivers and tight ends.

It’s okay. Men suffering from NLD will probably mention nothing about it being only eight more days until Valentine’s Day. NLDers often have an incorrect concept of time and tracking. If a man doesn’t have it programmed in his computer, iPad or phone that day, it is not an important event. This problem is specific to NDLers and Game Day.

Don’t worry, ladies. There are strategies and coping skills to help you through the big event. My advice is to call the Love Doctor, Michael Baisden. Tell Dr. Baisden how your man is not paying attention to you, how he acts like he doesn’t love you and that he hasn’t even mentioned Valentine’s Day. I’m thinking the response from Dr. Baisden would go something like this:

“Hey, Baby. This is the Michael Baisden Show. Stop tripping. Well, He’s not paying attention to you because he has Attention Deficit Disorder and you are not the major focus of the day. As for your comment that he ‘acts like he doesn’t love you,’ that is not the case at all. He does love you, but it is hard for him to express himself, and love is an abstract concept, Baby. Be patient. The reason that he doesn’t mention Valentine’s Day is he has lost all track of space and time. Don’t worry, Baby. When they say ‘Men are from Mars and women are from Venus’ they really mean ‘your man is NLD.’ Baby girl, read up on it and don’t be so hard on a brother. If you can’t find any clarity from your man, rent another man for the day. This is Michael Baisden, and I’m out.”

Who In The World Is NLD

It is time to go in search of specific characteristics or traits that sets me apart from others.   These characteristics will help identify NLD

>  I can talk it out better than simply doing the task

> My speech and language develop early

>  I learn information by habit or rote memory

>  I use Fancy footwork to express myself eloquently

>  Dancing is out, tying my shoes and typing is difficult, I will not be on a balance beam, or riding a bike due to coordination problems

> My nervous system is compromised which causes me to have severe balance problems

> No cutting the turkey, or cutting any objects for that matter – fine motor skills

> It’s hard to identify faces, to judge people, It is hard to understand others viewpoints,   and I have a problem with the perception of time.

> I can’t read people’s body language (posture, gesture, facial expression, social cues)

> I find it difficult adapting to change and transitioning

> I take abstract concepts literal, hidden residual rules

> I have poor social judgment and trouble interacting with people

There are three areas that include NLD and surround me.

> motoric

> visual-spatial-organizational

> social

Motoric – impairment causing difficulty to typing and writing (computers, iMac, iPods, iTouch, iPad, iPhone).

Thank you to Steve Jobs, Bill Gates of Microsoft and Michael Dell of Dell Computers, Sony and for Mac Scribe;

NLD has difficulty buttoning, fastening,(Thank you, Robert Kiyosaki, for velcro); manipulating small objects, tasks that require dexterity(Thank you for your “As Seen On TV”, Grabber, your One Touch can opener, Slicer Dicer, and Magic Bullet ).

NLD talks their way through a motor task (verbally)(Thank you for Bluetooth);

NLD resist eating with a fork or spoon, (Thank you for food product like Cup of Soup with a spout) laying on the floor, NLD finds it hard to sit in a chair(Thank You for video rocking chairs, ottomans, platform beds, and bean bags) due to coordination it will be difficult to master simple athletic skills,

NLD find their gross motor skills are impaired (running, jumping, climbing)

NLD presses too hard with the pencil.(Thank you for stylus)

Visual-spatial/visual perception-organizational-

For NLD it is difficult to tell who is in charge (difficulty with authority figures) hard to judge how heavy or large an object (doesn’t explore the world around him/her), hard to gather information, can’t envision or no imagination, can’t think creatively or abstractly not sure where his body is in space (space invader)

NLD can’t read maps, graphs or charts (Thank You for Garmin, TomTom, Apple, Verizon, T-Mobile, Net 10, Sprint, Nextel, AT&T, Straight Talk, Cricket for your navigational devices);

NLD  verbally labels everything, difficulty with shapes, sequence, prioritizing, binds through dialogue (use Bluetooth), difficulty with left and right,   and concept formation organizing and planning.

Social-expressive and receptive language –

NLD has difficulty with pragmatic and semantic skills (linguistic and how one express oneself) or linguistic syntax, abstract language (figurative, idioms, multiple meaning) very literal, monotone voice,

NLD has lots of social blunders, cannot decipher posture, facial expression, very black and white, cannot read between the lines,

NLD makes very precise remarks, people think they are jerks,

NLD has cocktail party speech(Captain Jack Sparrow), labeled as a pest or annoying, rude, not courteous

NLD may appear to others as disrespectful, naively trusting (needs trusted adults or grand guardians) rigid in thoughts…

In addition, NLD has difficulty with attention deficits, overstimulating environments, trouble with staying focus, and distractions need to be limited. Multitasking is counterproductive and step by step procedures work best with limited directions.

We Need An Interpreter

You know, we need an interpreter. This goes out to all my NLD associates. I chose the eyeglasses with one lens analogy because it gives a distorted view. This is not the whole picture. We get false impressions of what we see and how we interpret the information. We may miss the body language. Much of the nonverbal information is missed. Perfect, I don’t get the whole picture either!

English is truly a second language. Just like how you may interpret other foreign languages, English is foreign to me. If you start adding METAPHORS, SIMILES, and PERSONIFICATIONS, things really become abstract. You really have some explaining to do if you start talking to me with idioms and sarcasm…. don’t bother going there.

People make comments and say “It flew over your head.” I would say I did not have the ability to “get it.” I did not understand the meaning. Did the person explain it to me? This is very frustrating and makes people angry. Just say it in plain English. It’s time to break it down.

So in the world of Harry Potter, I’m going to need a dictionary. So many of the words seem abstract in these books. Twilight was simply horrible. We will be sitting in the movie theater and you will become my interpreter. This will continue throughout the movie.

Here come the famous questions…

What was your conclusion? How can you draw inference upon what happened? I have an idea if you POINT IT OUT and EXPLAIN IT all to me, I will give you an answer. This is where we begin to pour the concrete. I need CONCRETE, EXPLICIT, and FACTUAL INFORMATION.

People may think I am being sarcastic. I’m not. Do you know what I am talking about? Truth is, I don’t have a clue about sarcasm. It all sounds foreign to me.

Does this sound familiar? Do you have anybody in mind?

Hey, those are not my eyeglasses…

Hey, those are not my eyeglasses. One of the lenses is missing. The left lens is intact, but the right lens is out. Now you are cooking! Thank you for finding my neuro-behavioral right hemisphere shades. No, I’m not Captain Sparrow. I’m NLD.

Don’t worry, we will hit a few bumps along the way. We are going to have some misunderstandings. This is just a friendly reminder to let you know that I’m not EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED. I have UNINTENTIONAL BEHAVIORS So whatever happens to me and the world around me, I did not do it on purpose.

Those bumps will decrease, the misunderstandings will diminish if you EDUCATE yourself about me. Just TEACH me. Give me the FACTS, no FLUFF and we will be okay. SPELL IT OUT, POINT IT OUT, so that we can TALK IT OUT. LA Confidential. Just the Facts Jack!

From where I am standing, looking through these glasses, I process information differently. You would too if you miss 65% of NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION.

Sure, I talk a good game but all hell is going to break loose if I have to apply the information or write it. Look close… that’s right… I’m very language proficient.

In the educational world, they judge you by scholastic achievements based on language communication. What happens when you stop talking? We have to decipher the NONVERBAL ASPECT of COMMUNICATION. Uh oh, I’m in trouble now! The body starts talking. I can’t read it.

Let me ask you something… Do you know anyone like this? Does it sound like you?

Stay Tuned…..

Welcome to my Blog!

The doors are open. Sure! Come on in. We have embarked upon a new year and it is TIME for some changes up in the House. Once you crossed the threshold there is no turning back. What do we WELCOME? We WELCOME change, growth, progressiveness, diversity, and inclusion. In the words of AL Green–LOVE and HAPPINESS. It makes you want to do wrong or make you want to do right. It can make you come home early or make you stay out all night. Whatever it makes you do, we will find out whether or not it was INTENTIONAL or UNINTENTIONAL. Let’s see who is ROCKIN’ THE LIST. Let’s see who will be thrown off the MENTAL CLIFF.

I am happy to have you here. Please take your time, read my blog, and help spread the facts about NLD (NONVERBAL LEARNING DISABILITY). What is that? It is a neurological, neuro-behavioral syndrome with UNINTENTIONAL BEHAVIORS shaken up by a broken down compromised nervous system where the right hemisphere of the brain lacks creativity. The good news is there are many NLDERS who do not lack creativity and are very sociable. Hang tight, roll with me, and we will find out the three areas that encompass NLD Syndrome.

No one should compromise who they are to become what we want them to be. We need to adapt and change our way of thinking. It is TIME to change the lightbulb in our minds and get some energy savers. We will be able to run the marathon. Our minds can endure the pain, hardship, and stress of a decrease in power to shed the light on the actual problem. A surge in energy can spin our Rolodex out of control and shift the information in our brain. The boost can be too much and the tasks overwhelmed us. In the long run, it will cost our bodies less, help diminish the brain stress, and give an extension of quality of life. Some people need a JUMP START in life while others need a swift kick in the A… Which one are you?