What The Hah Hell!

Yes, you are looking at it right. It is a moment in TIME when something is said or an action has been taken and it is so unbelievable. It makes you step back and take a deep breath and really look at the person, place or the situation.

The gears in the brain begin to rotate faster, the jaws will tighten, one’s heart rate speeds up, and your eyes begin to shift from side to side. You know at this very moment what happened just aroused your suspicion, caught you totally off guard. It has rampaged through every emotion in your body. Your skeleton system is now being played like a xylophone. What comes out of your mouth is, “What The Hah Hell!” The questions start pouring in. The river will begin to overflow.

This outrageous act will be put under a microscope and scrutinized until there is nothing left for scrutiny. In the back of your mind, you are thinking “I know they didn’t go there. Did they just say…? Oh, you have crossed the line now!”

So what are you telling me? You don’t believe that yourself. You have got to be kidding me. Do you expect me to believe that? Come on now! No, you didn’t! Think of the TIMES when you have had these moments and things got so critical you went there. What words did you use? Okay, I forgot you were critical and the words you may have used were a bit stronger. There are many words to fill in the blank. Who are the people and the incidents that make you have the “What The Hah Hell” moments?

“What The Hell Moments,” can be triggered by people who never get their facts right or never seem to do the research. They make horrible comparisons. Their ideas are so conservative. Change is not on their agenda. There is no flexibility. Before you can introduce a good proposal it will get shot down. The answer will be NO. Here come the petty meetings because the people are petty. When they use the words, YES WE CAN, it is used for the destruction of the PRESIDENT. “What The Hah Hell!” What makes them appear to be POWERFUL is not their knowledge but their ability to dangle their money in front of the AMERICAN PEOPLE and DENY the PROGRESS of OUR NATION. Slavery, Bondage, Oppression, is what they want for WE THE PEOPLE and OUR NATION. It is their strategy to DIVIDE and ISOLATE so it will only be one CLASS. CLASS OF WAR will not exist if there is only the CLASS of the RICH. Who do you think are the main culprits dragging down the economy?

The ADJUSTMENT BUREAU manipulates lives. You have to stay on their path, never take risks to make any changes, and you can never choose for yourself. Your Voice will not be heard. The power lies in Salty Words, Words of Intimidation of the Abuser.

You know the Abuser image has to be larger than life. The reality will reveal the true COWARD. Once you discover behind the curtain the GREAT WIZARD has NO POLITICAL MACHINE, dammit, you are still hanging out with the GANG of Six. Toto had sense enough to split from the Gang. Steve Martin knew how that felt in the JERK. Dorothy was mad when she had awakened. She had never left the building. The meeting Dorothy attended was petty and no creation of jobs was discussed. The WHINY WOOS whined about the tax cuts for the RICH. Discussions on disaster relief, healthcare for the poor and middle class did not get a handshake. Collective bargaining was totally avoided by the WHINY WOOS. It was more important to pick the Hair Dye and Gorilla Glue for the two front-runners for the PRESIDENCY. “What The Hah Hell!” Wendy Witches sho-nuff Britches take their conspiracy theories to a new elevator ride.

To think you can set gas prices at $2.00 by drilling. The vaccine that makes you mentally retarded goes straight to the top of the elevator. “What The Hah Hell”! Wendy’s sister who thinks our PRESIDENT pals around with terrorists. She was confused. Tourist is what she really meant. Quitting the governorship just to pay your bills and run for President. “What The Hah Hell!” The Prize Winner Awards of “What The Hah Hell” are: Fox News, Bill O’Reilly, Shawn Hannity, Fox and Friends-Steve Doocy, Gretchen Carlson, Brian Kilmeade. We can’t leave out Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Eric Bolin, Heidi Harris, Michael Savage, Lori Ingram, Lou Dobbs, and many more Walkie Talkies in the Right Wing Conservative World.

The Prize Winner Awards of “What The Hah Hell” in Government goes out to Speaker of the House John Boehner, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, South Carolina Senator Jim Demint, Congressman Joe Wilson of South Carolina, Representative of Wisconsin and Chairman of the Budget Committee, Paul Ryan, Congresswoman of Minnesota, Michele Bachman, Former Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, Governor Rick Perry of Texas, Former Governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney, Governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker, Governor of Florida Rick Scott, Governor of Ohio, John Kasich and many who is attending the Dysfunctional Family Reunion.

The Prize Winner Awards of “What The Hah Hell” Moments in History goes out to the following: Congressman Alan West who compared himself to Harriet Tubman. John Boehner compared government spending to Crack Cocaine and who also stood there clapping for the President’s speech not realizing Pass This Bill Right Now got him excited and was the right thing to do. Congressman Anthony Wiener being confused on how to appropriately use FaceBook and Twitter. The Tea Party Republicans shutting down the government and trying to make a second attempt. Congressman Doug Lamborn of Colorado calling the President a Tar Baby was A Bridge Too Far. Rush Limbaugh comparing the President to an Oreo Cookie was insane. John Kasich of Ohio and Scott Walker of Wisconsin were stripping Union Rights and making unilateral decisions. Sit back and think of your “What The Hah Hell” moment. I’m quite sure you can come up with at least three or maybe more.

The most recent “What The Hah Hell” Moment was the Execution of Anthony Troy Davis. It was a Rainy Night In Georgia. There is also a “Moment of AHA.” This is the moment of Discovery, Truth, and Vindication. “AHA”! Justice has not been served. What does this have to do with NLD? Bottom line it is a brief moment in History which demonstrates what is RELEVANT and what is IRRELEVANT. It demonstrates what can be said that can make your MAD-O-METER rise to 2.00 minutes. The POPCORN IS READY! It also demonstrates the double standards of what can be said by the so-called normal community. What would happen if people with NLD Syndrome acted in this manner? Isn’t this Hypocrisy? From the Flip side of the Chart. Keeping it Real for NLD SKILLS.

Dedicated: To all the men and women in prison Wrongly convicted, serving a life sentence, and on Death Row.

A Bite Of The Apple__A Tribute to Steve Jobs

Scene: This conversation takes place at Steve Jobs’ underground compound in the middle of who in the hell knows where. We are talking about Steve Jobs, Okay. Smokelbg has decided to pay Steve a visit and have a heart to heart chat.

Smokelbg:

Hey, where you at? Steve, Steve is you here? Hey man, you better show up real fast. Some of your neighbors are looking at me really crazy. I can’t believe this. Steve wears this outfit all the time. I wonder why I’m having so much trouble wearing these blue jeans and black tee-shirt? I don’t have no ski mask on. What is this, the neighborhood watch? Okay, I see how this works. Don’t make me show your neighbors who’re the real Mac Genius. Why you laughing Steve?

Steve:

Smokelbg, you are hilarious. I’m so glad you could drop by. It’s good seeing you. It has been a long TIME.

Smokelbg:

More like Delirious and you don’t hear me singing Prince’s song. Come on now, I didn’t just drop by. I had to catch 2 planes, sail across the Mojave Desert, take a boat through Vienna, sing Oleta Adam’s Song-Get Here If You Can, and stung gun your neighbor’s dog. Where did Cujo come from? Was he trained to take a bite out of crime? Hey, Prince designed his butt-out pants. I did not need any help from Cujo. Okay!

Steve:

What?! Is Fefe okay? He is harmless. He just wanted to play. I can’t believe you used a taser gun on Tim’s dog.

Smokelbg:

Did you say Tim’s dog? Please tell me I didn’t taser Timothy D. Cook’s dog. Damn it!

Fefe is the canine dog from hell. You should be asking is Smokelbg okay. Do I look like IAMS or Purina One Dog Chow to you? Where is this place anyway? Anytime Air Force One drops you off in the middle of the desert, you got to be hiding some secrets. I get along with dogs on a regular day but Fefe and I aren’t making any love connections. Can I use your bathroom? Ahhh! Steve, there is a robot up here in your bathroom trying to tell me how many square feet are in toilet paper. Steve get up here I push a button and I’m not sure if I Googled my butt across the nation. I just need some peroxide for my butt and I need to flush the toilet. Steveeee!

Steve:

Are you finding everything you need Smokelbg? There are some special treats behind the mirror glass shaped like an APPLE. This would make any woman’s head spin.

Smokelbg:

I don’t want my head to spin. I need some toilet tissue to keep me from having issues with Roberta the Robot who will not let me wipe my Ahh….! Steve get up here NOW!

Steve:

Oh, Dear, I meant to tell you if you put your hands in a certain position the robot will defend herself and put you in a headlock. Smokelbg, Tim designed the robot. It was a birthday gift for my daughter.

Smokelbg:

I should have known. Who is going to believe that my torn A… graduated with a whiplashed neck. Only at Steve’s Jobs compound. Do you have a pair of pants I can borrow and a soft pillow I can sit on?

Steve:

The pants may not fit. I mean they may be too long.

Smokelbg:

Just cut them in half… I need something to cover my butt.

Steve:

Hold tight, I got something that will make you feel really comfortable. There you go. I know how you like soft fabrics and this robe is just perfect. Smokelbg, I’m not cutting my pants.

Smokelbg:

Fair enough but I could have done without the APPLES on the robe. This robe feels like a giant cotton ball. Steve, it is TIME for us to take A BITE OF THE APPLE. Would you like to go first?

Steve:

Since you’ve come so far I want you to tell me what is on your mind.

Smokelbg:

I remember when I first told you about my son’s extraordinary mind, unique abilities, and multi-intelligence learning style. You looked directly in my face and said, Thank God he isn’t disabled. At least his head is still attached to his neck. I never liked labels that hinder people from achievement. At that point, I wanted to cry. You sat there and you listened to me go on and on about Nonverbal Learning Disability. You asked me to take a trip out to one of the APPLE STORES. I did and it was an amazing adventure. When I stepped out of the car and entered the store it begins to pull me and my son right into all the applications that could be purchased along with all the different products. My son and I were both dressed in our black tee shirts and blue jeans. We had struggled with the schools for years and it was TIME to move on and find the latest technology of teaching tools for home. Every person in the store regardless of race, age, and the geographical location was fascinated with the products. They were all interested in learning. We felt at home. Every school across the nation should feel this way for all children to hold their interest in learning. This store’s atmosphere was non-threatening, created a conducive environment and every customer in the store was paying attention. Steve, from the TIME I walked into the APPLE STORE there were people conversing, exchanging email addresses, and their cell phone numbers. My son began to really shine and start asking for numbers too. He didn’t get this opportunity at school. I thought he would become overwhelmed because the store was so crowded. He jumped right on it. He was so excited and he began to open up for the first time.

My son didn’t have to feel the hurt and pain of having manifestation hearings, getting suspended, or ever having to worry about another due process hearing. Most parents feel children who are labeled “disabled” will become budget cuts in the educational system. Why would you want to fix a child that was already broken? Why should a school system RECOGNIZE or make accommodations for a diagnosis that has not been validated by the AMERICAN PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION? This store gave us a new way of looking at educating your child. It gave us hope outside of the educational system regardless what the educational system would or wouldn’t offer.

Why should a child go to school for twelve years of his life and find it hard to develop friends? It shouldn’t come down to TEST SCORES or the educational system FUNDING. Teachers shouldn’t be pressured to the point they LIE and CHEAT to bring children TEST SCORES up for ACCREDITATION. It should be about the child’s education because they are the ones who suffer the most. I kept trying to convince myself that I was in a store. This was more than just a store. Once again through your vision and innovation, something magical was going on inside the APPLE STORE that made people not want to leave and learn more. It felt safe, people’s’ questions were being answered, there was so much support, and the employees cared.

I was so glad when you met with PRESIDENT OBAMA, ERIC SMITH one of the founders of GOOGLE and MARK ZUCKERBERG, founder and CEO of FACEBOOK. All I could think of was, “If anyone could get the educational system on track it would be you guys.” Alternative methods of teaching children are on the rise. Steve, parents need to understand if they can’t find support in their own schools and districts then they need to find another way. APPLE STORE has created a learning environment. The educational system needed to take notes BIG TIME.

I found one of your sayings you had written on June 12, 2005, and it is your TIME to take a BITE OF THE APPLE. Do you remember Steve?

Steve:

I may not remember offhand but I can pull it up on my computer. Let me see. Hear it is.

Smokelbg:

Okay, you read it.

Steve:

You want me to read it.

Smokelbg:

Yes Steve, if you want to sing it you can. Just do it. This is your BITE OF THE APPLE.

Steve:

Here it goes. I look in the mirror and ask myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “NO” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Because of almost everything all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things fell away in the face of death leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

Smokelbg:

This is how I responded to your message on FaceBook. Hi, this Smokelbg. I have always been puzzled by those who are GONE but not FORGOTTEN. These are the ones that never die and live in our hearts forever. The impact they make in our lives leaves such a great impression. You see them so clearly. You remember the smell of their cologne, the sound of their laughter, and their wonderful words of wisdom. We walk around every day of our lives and we can’t remember the person’s name, what they wore that day, or where they work. Who is alive and who has passed on? There are many who are no longer with us. There are those who are expected to EXIT who will always have a PERMANENT ENTRANCE.

Steve, you have inspired me to be a follower of my heart. When Tim’s dog tore into my APPLE BOTTOM JEANS I looked back and saw that I too was butt-naked. It would be a shame if I survived cancer and not Tim’s dog. I just want the world to understand NLD Syndrome and hopefully, parents will understand there is another diagnosis out there they may need to check out. Everybody is not ASPERGER, AUTISM, or PDD-NOS. Good Grief! I want those parents out there asking questions, getting an early start on getting their child diagnosed, and not to be afraid. I don’t want to read any more ho-hum stories about NLD SYNDROME. I’m tired of the gloomy picture that is painted of people who have been diagnosed with NLD SYNDROME. These children/adults have to live with NLD SYNDROME and should not have to suffer the consequences of it. I want those doctors up, running, and developing strategies and coping skills and doing consistent testing for NLDERS. Sure DEATH is IMMINENT but to arrive at one’s destination at a much early TIME without any knowledge of knowing what you are up against is one hell of a trap.The KNOWLEDGE of KNOWING will help with INTERVENTIONS even if there is NO CURE it will give you HOPE.

DEDICATED: To STEVES JOBS of APPLE, who has given the EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM HOPE and has given the WORLD EVERYTHING OF HIMSELF. NLD Mom/cancer survivor

Eddie On The Corner

The story I’m about to tell you opened doors for me and has changed my life forever. It was the summer of 1993. The music industry had changed over to gangster rap. The three of us were Inseparable like Natalie Cole’s song. We were not getting in touch with our feminine side. Dwayne Miller, we called Baby Boy because he never seemed to age. Tyrone Fulton, we called Tonto because he was the opposite of faster than a speeding bullet. I was called Luscious Larry, named after my father who was the player of all players in our neighborhood. My real name is Larry Beard. As a group, we call ourselves the Nighthawks. We hung tight and we had each other’s backs. Our parents made it clear if dark catches you out past midnight you better have an alibi.

The Nighthawks loved music. Baby Boy and I could switch to any kind of music but Tonto only liked Old School Music. Baby Boy would sometimes get frustrated with Tonto but it was all good. I found a way so we didn’t squabble over who listened to what. I knew one day we would be larger than Boyz II Men. Personally, I wanted to follow in BabyFace’s footsteps. Baby Boy wanted to be like Notorious B.I.G. Tonto’s favorite old school singer is Stevie Wonder. He said Stevie has lasted a LIFETIME.

Tonto would always arrive late. It didn’t matter if he had a watch on. His TIME was always off. Baby Boy would always play his music first. By the TIME Tonto arrived he didn’t have any rap music to listen to. I would always hang loose or wait until I got home so I could play anything I wanted to hear. After we got through our music session, Tonto always seem calmer and wouldn’t fly off the handle at people. It was hard for Tonto to understand when people said things in a smart or sarcastic manner. We later discovered music was like therapy for Tonto. Baby Boy would get very defensive if anybody tried to crack on or make fun of Tonto. Whenever Sammy and his crew came around I could see Baby Boy’s jaw tightening and he would stand real close to Tonto. Sammy knew not to say anything crazy about Tonto. Sammy was always up to no good. He looked like that poison bottle with the skull and two bones going through the skull’s head. Yeah, he was Dr. Death. He had more secrets than the Pentagon. Everybody in the neighborhood was told to steer clear of Sammy. He wasn’t trying to do anything with his life except to try to pull the next good life down. We renamed him, Satanic Sammy.

We would leave our music session and go down to Mrs. Val’s corner store. This store had every type of candy and fruit drink you could imagine. It even had EDDIE the town drunk. The strange thing about EDDIE ON THE CORNER, none of us had ever seen him with a bottle on his side. I often wondered why Mrs. Val never chased Eddie off. Mrs. Val was like sweet strawberry licorice. She was kind to all the kids. She really took to Tonto. It was strange how she knew what candies to choose for him. It was like Tonto had some extra feelers on his tongue that would not allow him to eat specific items. He would have a terrible reaction. The next thing you knew whatever was in his mouth was headed your way.

The problem started 2 years later with the Nighthawks. Some new boys moved in the neighborhood. Sammy knew not to mess with Tonto but that didn’t keep him from setting up the New Kids On The Block. He dared them to go tease Tonto. They would whisper in Tonto’s ear some strange message he never revealed to me or Baby Boy. We saw Tonto’s behavior change dramatically. Once you told Tonto something bad it was hard for him to move on. His anger would increase and before we could start our music sessions, Tonto would want to go down to Mrs. Val’s store and pick on EDDIE. He began picking on EDDIE at least two to three TIMES a week. He never told us what was said. We did not know how to get through to him. We finally ask Mrs. Val to talk to Tonto. She got through to him. Baby Boy and I did not question Mrs. Val at all. We were so happy that Tonto made a decision to back off of Eddie. Something changed for Tonto. I wished he would open up and tell us what those boys had said to him.

It was time for our music session. This Time Baby Boy was late. I kept checking my watch. Tonto’s mother, Ms. Ernestine showed up. My kneecaps tightened and my legs felt weighted. She said there had been a shooting and she would give me more details once we got to the hospital. Baby Boy found out what Satanic Sammy had the new neighborhood boys tell Tonto. Before Baby Boy died of his gunshot wounds he told me what happened and to promise to watch out for Mrs. Val, EDDIE ON THE CORNER, and Tonto. He never mentioned taking care of Ms. Ernestine.

The timing was bad. Tonto was getting ready to go off to college. He decided to stop by Mrs.Vals and take one more shot at EDDIE. To his surprise, EDDIE was gone. There was a very well dressed man on the corner. He handed him a card and the name Edward Morrison appeared. It had Mr. Morrison’s email address and cell phone number. The man told Tonto to get in touch with his father. Tonto was really angry. He could not hold the secret any longer. He confronted his mom and wanted to know why she would tell him that his father died in the War. She was disturbed and in more ways than one. She couldn’t explain herself out of this one. Tonto came to the house and told me what happened the night Baby Boy got shot. He was told that EDDIE ON THE CORNER was his dad.

I was asked to go with him to find his father. He handed me the card. The name looked familiar but I couldn’t be sure if it was THE EDWARD MORRISON.

Satanic Sammy’s mother and Tonto’s mother were once best friends. Ernestine had gotten pregnant by Tonto’s father. She was a shame because he had several learning problems. He never could understand or get along with any of her friends except for Paula, who was Satanic Sammy’s mother. Paula is dyslexic. She hid for many years. She never revealed to Ernestine that she was dyslexic in fear their friendship would end. So Paula ended the relationship with Ernestine and continued her friendship with EDDIE ON THE CORNER. Paula later went to work for Edward Morrison Institute.

Well, we reached Morrison Institute and we sat outside in the lounge. Mr. Morrison came out to greet us personally. Tonto turn around and said to me, this is the man in the suit at the corner of Mrs. Val’s store. I looked at Tonto. I looked at him. Tonto couldn’t see that he looked like Edward Morrison. Mr. Morrison smiled and explained why Tonto could not recognize his face. EDDIE ON THE CORNER was Mr. Edward Morrison of Morrison Institutes. He is the owner and CEO of 35 learning institutions around the world. He specialized in Nonverbal Learning Disability. Mrs. Val is Tonto’s Grandmother. I was asked by Tonto’s father to come in and trained to head up one of Morrison Institutes. Tyrone Fulton, a.k.a Tonto is now following in his father’s footsteps.

Major Player In My Life

All this turbulence has cradled my heart.
There is little left of my airflow.
My father and I are miles apart.
The loneliness has continued to grow.

I just need to find a picture
Of all the good TIMES we shared.
We both are a crazy mixture.
Dad, I know you truly cared.

I’m sitting here lonely in my room.
Help me figure this one out.
This feeling of unrelenting gloom,
Has stricken me with so much doubt.

I hope you left me a letter.
My spirit has begun to descend.
I’m praying it will make it all better.
I hope this is not the end.

What is that on the table?
Can this be the answers I seek?
Give me the strength to be able,
To know our situation isn’t bleak.

To my son, I will always love you.
The separation cuts deep like a knife.
The bond we share is like Super Glue.
You’re the Major Player In My Life.

Nothing has changed but the distance.
I’m filing for a divorce from my wife.
Your mother has not been resistant.
You’re the Major Player In My Life.

I will continue to support you and your mother.
There is no bad blood, conflict, or strife.
We will continue to love one another.
You’re the Major Player In My Life.

DEDICATION: This is dedicated to NATHAN MAJORS who has handled his trials and tribulations with great courage. In the face of adversity, he has become better and not bitter. Nathan has continued to be an AWESOME, AWESOME father. He has continued to hold his rank among men who are breaking the cycle of DEADBEAT DADS, NO CALL NO SHOW FATHERS, and ABSENTEE FATHERS. Unlike Congressman JOE WALSH of ILLINOIS, TEA PARTY REPUBLICAN that has not paid his wife and children $117,437.00 for 9 years is bad news for all the GOOD MEN who are STEPPING UP THEIR GAME.

To all my NLDERS here is the comparison and contrasting behavior of what is INTENTIONAL. JOE WALSH behavior is highly unacceptable. There are many men around the world who doesn’t hold the position JOE WALSH hold. These men have been called out to pay child support for way less. How did he slip through the cracks? JOE WALSH needs to be held accountable. NLD Mom/cancer survivor

Let Fathers Be Fathers

This experience is frightening for me. Our son has to go through a diagnostic evaluation to see if he has a learning disability. He was fine until he reached middle school then his grades begin to drop. The more things he had to do on his own he just didn’t seem to be able to get organized for his school work. I thought it was because his grandmother passed away. Quincy and his grandmother were so close. She practically raised him from a baby. His mother, Catherine, worked two jobs and her mother offered to help us out. JoAnn, Catherine’s mother, was a diabetic. I always felt my wife should quit one of her jobs so we could spend more time with Quincy. I didn’t mind making the sacrifice to work the extra hours. I wanted at least one parent to be with Quincy so he wouldn’t feel he was so alone. She was forced to quit one of the jobs after her mother died. I don’t know if she resented coming home.

I worked for the railroad. It was a fairly decent pay when I put in the extra long hours. Milton, a long time co-worker, and my best friend had a son diagnosed with autism. He shared many stories about his son. Milton’s stories frightened me because they always seemed to be so closely connected to my life. It appeared that Milton and his ex-wife had problems regarding their son being autistic. Later I learn Milton’s ex-wife had trouble with any women coming around her son or dating Milton.

Milton had gained full custody of his son. He was very proactive in his son’s life. Milton had started an autism support group. He had invited me several times. It always made me feel as if Milton was so many steps ahead of me. He continued to ask me to come and participate in the Autism group. Some parts of me wanted to attend but the other half of me was afraid. For some reason, I could see part of my life being like Milton. It felt like the movie Face Off.

Catherine and I had trouble in our marriage. She blamed herself for not being there when her mother passed away. We had problems before her mother ever came to stay. Her mother’s presence helped relieve a great amount of stress in our household.

JoAnn was so patient and kind with Quincy. She was Quincy’s rock. Catherine and I were so tired after working so many hours. It left us no room to deal with Quincy’s problems. It didn’t allow him the ability to process when he became angry and frustrated. JoAnn would always tell Catherine, Let Fathers be Fathers and Deal With It. Let the boy’s father deal with his behavior. Catherine was quick-tempered and lacked patience. It would make Quincy’s behavior become very explosive.

More and more Quincy’s behavior started changing and he begins to sleep a lot. I became greatly concerned because I thought Quincy was slipping into a state of depression. Catherine said Quincy just wanted attention and he was just lazy and she didn’t have the time to be bothered with his foolishness. Where did that response come from? When I ask her about her statement, she glared at me with her lip twisted and stormed out of the room. I guess that was my answer. We had begun to argue more frequently.

I was all for the evaluation but Catherine would get upset every time I would try to talk about it. We were getting closer to our evaluation date. Catherine had almost totally shut down. The moments of silence were killing me and I just couldn’t take it anymore. Every time I would try to discuss how we could help Quincy she would bring up her father and how he would deal with the situation. Catherine was very close to her father. At the age of 17, her father died on his way to work of a stroke. She always compared me to her dad. At first, I didn’t mind. I kind of thought it was an honor until I talked to JoAnn. Before Catherine’s mother died we had this conversation about JoAnn’s husband. He wasn’t the man my wife made him out to be.

In the heat of the moment, I tried to get Catherine to talk. When she mentioned her dad my head spun around like I was the star in the Exorcist. The next thing I knew I had revealed what Catherine’s mother had told me about her dad. At that moment I realized from the look on my wife’s face she never knew. My heart-felt as if it was going to come through my chest. I would never say or do anything to hurt Catherine. It was all over. Catherine ran into the bedroom and started grabbing her clothes out of the closet. I was trying to prevent her from leaving and I don’t remember what happened after that. I have tried to relive that moment in the bedroom a thousand times. The only thing I do remember is I was trying to guard my face. When I looked down, my shirt was bloody. From the mirror in the bedroom, I could see scratches all over my body. I called Milton to see if he could pick Quincy up from school. He never asked for an explanation.

Everything was going through my mind. Did she call the police? When were the police going to arrive? Whatever happened in that bedroom, Catherine never came back. The police never showed up. Who said that men don’t cry. I cried for days and days. I love my wife but we always seem to communicate with other people. That did not help our marriage at all. Months had passed and finally, I got a call from one of Catherine’s longtime friends from New York. Beverly told me Catherine was granting me full custody of Quincy. Before I could ask about Catherine, I was listening to the dial-tone. Just when I thought I had pulled myself together the crying came back. Here was my son asking all these questions and I had no answers. Quincy and I had to move on.

Quincy did get evaluated and he was diagnosed with NLD Syndrome. I have full custody of Quincy now. He often asks me if he was the cause of his mother leaving. He wonders will she ever come back. I wonder the same. Catherine and I never really communicated what was on our minds and in our hearts. We were both too young to have children. I am seeking professional help. There is so much I need to work through. I don’t want to be an angry parent. This isn’t just about my life. I need to be sure I don’t damage Quincy’s life. He has a lot to deal with. I will be right there for him. I have a lot to learn about NLD Syndrome. Milton is helping me to set up a support group and build a website. Yes, I am afraid that I will keep my promise to Quincy’s grandmother. Let Fathers be Fathers and continue to advocate for their children’s needs. Let Fathers be Fathers and understand the social and emotional part of their children’s life. Let Fathers Be Fathers and show the love, support, and embrace their child’s weakness just as they would rally around their strengths. JoAnn is probably looking down on me and Quincy today. As JoAnn would say, Let Fathers be Fathers and Deal With It.

DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to a young man who had to deal with it. He has done an exceptional job and is very supportive of his family and children. He would make any mother proud of how he is handling his life and the lives of family and friends he has touched. This one is for you, Willie Watson.

Just So You Don’t Think You Are Crazy

Ok, Gang, we are not ordering Pizza and we are not watching any Movies. You saw what happened to the Republicans and the Tea Party. They just don’t get it. Pizza gives you Gas and you can Blow Yourself Out of The Box. The Deal John Boehner tried to put in place went down 59 to 41 in the Senate. If John Boehner had read any of SMOKELBG’S SUPERBOWL STORIES he would have learned Twisting people’s’ Arm and Cursing at his Gang Will Not Work. First of all, John Boehner didn’t know his people. He needed a manual on the Republican Tea Party. The people he did know he decided to punish them. The ones he Punished found out he Didn’t Know Anything. John Boehner’s Gang has received a TKO. Teddy Pendergrass was Not singing the song. John Boehner only made the Republican Tea Party anger escalate and their behaviors showed its A… The Boehner Gang is now watching STAR TREK II, WRATH OF KHAHN. The movie was spectacular. The Internal Squabble behind the scenes of the movie is the Republicans vs. Tea Party.

Gene Roddenberry got kicked to the curb for changing his mind too much and going over the limit of his budget. He was given one of those positions, Last House On The Left. This is the Out Of Sight, Out Of Your Mind Position given to those who have problems with Productivity. Directors and Producers were brought in to finish the job. Gene Roddenberry and many others now understand every Promotion Is Not A Promotion. The Movie Industry has problems with their Gangs. You can ask Steven Spielberg, John Singleton, Clint Eastwood, Tyler Perry, and Spike Lee. Now Spike, the order of your name being last has nothing to do with your phenomenal skills. It is just the way SMOKELBG wrote it. Nothing Personal. Will John Boehner get one of these Promotions? His Directions wasn’t clear nor good. John Boehner produced very little in his Two Step Plan. Maybe he thought he was Dancing. Well, John, I hate to tell you, Don’t Go There. You might trip and Fail Again.

We have a new Democratic Emblem. Our Gang is going Full Circle With The Big D. “KNOW THIS”, (translation of KNOW THIS–I AM NOT PLAYING WITH YOU, OKAY) the Deal is for We The People and Our Nation. When Republicans and the Tea Party ran out of Toilet Tissue, I offered them Wipes. They were hesitant but they figured out what to use them for. It took awhile but that’s okay. Once they got cleaned off, I sent for John Boehner. I did not curse. I asked John Boehner to get his TUTTI-FRUTTI AW ROOTY BOOTY in here—A WOP-BOP-ALOO-MOP, ALOP BAM BOOM (translation–Drum Role Please). There was a problem in the Gang of Musicians. Pat Boone cleaned up Little Richard’s song and sold more copies than Little Richard. Hmm! I wonder why? This is another Trip Down Black Alley. Melissa Harris-Perry did an excellent job of explaining the RACIAL DIVIDE between Blacks, Whites, and Latinos on Income, Wealth, and Education on the Rachel Maddow Show. I went before the Nation and I expressed there may be many who may not agree with me or my decision. Hell, or even like me for being the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Michelle Bachman, I had nothing to do with you and Sarah Palin not getting into the Intelligent Women’s Club. You need to talk to SMOKELBG about that one. Patti Labelle and Micheal McDonnell would sing it to the tune of I’M ON MY OWN. What did Little Richard tell you, ladies? GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY you cannot have it Your Way. WOOOOO! You are not the Pointer Sisters. Michelle Bachman takes your Girlfriend, Sarah Palin, and Point Your Butt toward the door. On the way out see Ray Charles so he can tell you to Hit The Road Jack.

The Democrats and I roll to the tune of Music, not Musiq. I know how the Republicans and the Tea Party got the issues confused. Musiq Soulchild is the Artist and Songwriter who sings Teach Me. Before the deal goes down I hope the Republican and the Tea Party learn what the FULL CIRCLE BIG D is about to Teach Them. When Kool And The Gang lose their Kool, they would listen to the Big B, Barry White.  Barry White would sing Practice What You Preach to John Boehner, his Gang, and the Tea Party. If it hadn’t been for the Ohio Players jamming at the Democrats luncheon, the Whitehouse would be singing Fire. The only reason why we stayed up Day And Night On Two Occasions listening to the DEELE because Babyface, LA Reid, and Kevin Edmond were having problems with their Gang. Our Deal for We The People and Our Nation–We Cannot Go For Broke. Bobby Womack just told Chaka Khan, I Can’t Understand It. Chaka Khan sent an e-mail to Shanice saying I Feel For You. It is hard to go over to the Republican Camp and sing Silent Prayer. Envogue is at the Senate Hearing Committee singing Never Gonna Get It. Jade just broke through the door and said, “5, 4, 3, Yo Time Is Up”. Just So You Don’t Think You Are Crazy, Boyz II Men will wrap it up with We Come To The End Of The Road.

We The People and Our Nation have been under a lot of stress. Just before the darkest hour dawn will break. A little Laughter can go a long way. We learned who the GIVERS, TAKERS, and the RUMP SHAKERS were. It was not Guy, Blackstreet, or Wrecks-N-Effect. To all my NLDERS music is a good strategy to soothe the Savage Beast. If your choice is Movies, make sure it is a Movie you can Understand and Not Need Your Interpreter. People become annoyed when others talk about the show. Leave your cellphones at home. LAUGHTER reduces one’s STRESS. FRIENDS and RELATIONSHIPS are hard to maintain. Anyone can have trouble with their Gang. Keeping It Real For NLD Skills.

We Never Thought We Would Get The Credit

The young men I talk to wanted me to hold off on their stories until after Father’s Day.  There were several incidents involving extramarital affairs. The guys just didn’t feel the TIME was right. They all strongly felt they would never get the credit or receive the RECOGNITION… mothers are validated for parenting their children.

Conversing with these young men revealed friends, other family members and associates who always would give the mother strong RECOGNITION as the award-winning parent.  Many fathers who do not take responsibility for their children. This has given those fathers who want to share in the responsibility of raising their children a bad reputation.

Labels like absentee fathers, deadbeat dads, no call no-show fathers, are hard to live down. They want to participate in their child’s life. It is their biggest fear of not having their fathers in their life, making it very devastating for them not to participate in the lives of their children.

Many of the laws have changed concerning children’s placement with their parents. Courts are in session and the men feel more negotiation and emphasis is being placed on the child’s best interest instead of the parents. It gives the men more hope and an equal opportunity they will not be disregarded in the child’s placement. These fathers worried about their children being moved around as chest pieces or used as bargaining chips. Men feel more hoops are put in place for them to jump through in comparison to the mothers.  It is worth the training day at the circus just to be around their kids. The stories of these young men are told from the perspective of the FLIP SIDE OF THE CHART. It tells of the struggles they had with their fathers, how they hid their unique abilities and the effect it had on their own relationships. It demonstrates what these young men had to do in order to maintain being a father. No matter what it took, breaking a vicious cycle of not being a loving, supportive, and a responsible parent was No. 1 on the list for these men. It is the VALIDATION of CREDITABILITY that lends true RECOGNITION TO LIFE. Everyone has a story to tell, being heard is significant but understanding what one hears gives RECOGNITION to those who thought they would not get the credit.

Waiting By The Window

Dear Dad:

You always seem to understand my frustration. Not one time did you holler at me or ridicule me for my clumsiness when you took me out to play football. It never appeared to bother you that I had the worst coordination in the world. When I did not make the play, you never stopped encouraging me. I loved it when you would toss me up in the air and say,”You are my champion.” Even when I violated your space, you would laugh and call me your SPACE INVADER. You would go get the tape measure and you would show me where I should stand to keep from violating other people’s personal space.

When it was time to clean my room, you always gave me a heads up on where I should start first. I loved the saying, “We will build one skill at a TIME.” It was funny how I was sitting in the middle of the floor and you walked into the room and sat beside me. I looked at you and you looked at me and we both started laughing. Dad, I was so glad you didn’t get angry because 2 hours had passed and the room was totaled. You told me I just needed a jumpstart like a battery. The sticky notes helped so much. You only listed 5 items for me to do. Once I had learned those tasks, you would slowly add a new task. I figured I was making progress. I was so excited to see another task added on. It seemed like it took forever but Dad, you waited for me to get it.

I remember when we went to our favorite eating place and you leaned over and told me I had my shirt on backward. The look on your face was priceless when I told you they make shirts that look like they are inside out. I bought the shirt for a strategy so people would think I was keeping up with the trend. Concept formation is hard for me and this was one way of my dealing with putting my clothes on backward. Whenever we would go shopping, we would buy shirts with the decals on the front so I would know if my shirt was on right. The wristband you had made at the jeweler was a good way for helping me determine my right from my left. I love the engraving on it… “This is my right-hand man.”

Dad, you made me feel like I was Paula Dean’s son in the kitchen. You took the initiative to buy me all those gadgets from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I had an apple slicer, Nicer Dicer, Instant Chopper, and One Step Can Opener… any contraption that would keep me from severing my fingers or accidentally slicing my wrist. You would tease me and say, “Son we don’t want people to think you tried to commit SIDEWAYS in the kitchen.” I thought it was hilarious when I almost cut my finger off and you looked over at the pot of spaghetti and then looked at me said, “Want to go to dinner because I’m eating no fingers today.”

We had candles of every scent, fountains, and I couldn’t walk through the house without my feet landing on a different type of rug or carpet. Every time my feet hit the carpet or rug it brought so much ease to my body. At night my room looked like a church cathedral or it felt like a spa with the fountains. I loved the swivel chairs in my room. I had such a hard TIME getting to sleep. When you would bring me the hot chamomile tea it wouldn’t be long before it was lights out for the night.

I love the MAD-O-Meter you placed on my door. Before I would escalate you would walk me over to the MAD-O-Meter and have me point to the color. We would discuss if I wasn’t too angry what happened to cause the problem or the chain of events that led up to my trip to ANGER LAND. If I was too ANGRY, you would bring me the apple cinnamon tea, and say it was BREW TIME. I would sit and BREW because I took everything literally. It really did help me to calm down.

Wow! Dad, you had so many strategies and coping skills for me. I hope I can accommodate you like you accommodated me. We both were unprepared for this. I am so afraid for you. The doctors have talked to me several TIMES about your stroke. Putting the pieces of the puzzle together is so hard for me. Too bad Mom is not here to help me get through this. I didn’t realize that she has been dead for 7 years. Here I am in this place looking through this glass window. You look so helpless and weak. Can you hear me, DAD? I know I am not NURSE BETTY but I will try my best. We can do this DAD. I can’t lose you too.

You even trained people through the years if anything were to happen to you I would have another GRAND GUARDIAN in place. I don’t want another Grand Guardian. I need you, DAD. No matter how long it takes I will be sitting here WAITING BY THE WINDOW for your recovery. Mom is watching over us today. I will ask her and GOD to go in their conference chambers and work something out for me and you to spend a little more TIME together. I LOVE YOU DAD. You have been a good father to me.

Dedicated: This is dedicated to all the FATHERS who have broken the cycle from being the absentee DAD and have shown true dedication to their children no matter what the circumstances are. To all my NLDERS the strategies and coping skills mentioned in this letter can be very beneficial. Turn on your QUIET STORM MUSIC and RELAX WITH YOUR WARM FUZZY BLANKET and PLAY IT TO THE TUNE OF GUY__LET’S CHILL. IN RECOGNITION OF NLD SYNDROME NOW.

We Never Thought We Would Get The Credit

The young men I talk to wanted me to hold off on their stories until after Father’s Day.  There were several incidents involving extramarital affairs. The guys just didn’t feel the TIME was right. They all strongly felt they would never get the credit or receive the RECOGNITION… mothers are validated for parenting their children.

Conversing with these young men revealed friends, other family members and associates who always would give the mother strong RECOGNITION as the award-winning parent.  Many fathers who do not take responsibility for their children. This has given those fathers who want to share in the responsibility of raising their children a bad reputation.

Labels like absentee fathers, deadbeat dads, no call no-show fathers, are hard to live down. They want to participate in their child’s life. It is their biggest fear of not having their fathers in their life, making it very devastating for them not to participate in the lives of their children.

Many of the laws have changed concerning children’s placement with their parents. Courts are in session and the men feel more negotiation and emphasis is being placed on the child’s best interest instead of the parents. It gives the men more hope and an equal opportunity they will not be disregarded in the child’s placement. These fathers worried about their children being moved around as chest pieces or used as bargaining chips. Men feel more hoops are put in place for them to jump through in comparison to the mothers.  It is worth the training day at the circus just to be around their kids. The stories of these young men are told from the perspective of the FLIP SIDE OF THE CHART. It tells of the struggles they had with their fathers, how they hid their unique abilities and the effect it had on their own relationships. It demonstrates what these young men had to do in order to maintain being a father. No matter what it took, breaking a vicious cycle of not being a loving, supportive, and a responsible parent was No. 1 on the list for these men. It is the VALIDATION of CREDITABILITY that lends true RECOGNITION TO LIFE. Everyone has a story to tell, being heard is significant but understanding what one hears gives RECOGNITION to those who thought they would not get the credit.

In The Defense, For The Defense… NLD__A YouTube Moment…

It is TIME to move forward on Reasonable Doubt. Just recently the people in our country have become so fascinated with a recent murder trial that took place in Florida. Yes, a significant life was lost but the reaction to the outcome of the trial has become alarming and very astonishing. The anger expressed throughout our country has been very explosive. It has left the stench of becoming INHUMANE on our breath. We have reacted to this trial in a BARBARIC and UNCIVILIZED manner. Regardless of what we personally believe, We CANNOT take matters into our own hands. When we lose objectivity of our HUMANENESS we can no longer hold VIGILANCE to our government and the issues which we have now derailed ourselves from. Once we lose our perspective on judging a HUMAN LIFE we lose our VALIDATION and RECOGNITION for LIFE VALUES.

Let’s have a SMOKELBG REALITY SHOW. What would be the most useful teaching tool to demonstrate to a child/adult with NLD SYNDROME related inappropriate behaviors? You got it, a YOUTUBE MOMENT. Now it is TIME to go behind the scenes. Go to YOUTUBE and see behaviors that are volatile. Look at the ANGRY GRANDPA video reaction to the verdict of this trial. YOUTUBE also have very positive videos that can be used to show very positive behaviors. On a regular note take a look at Bill O’Reilly and his behavior when he was on Inside Edition in the UNSEEN FOOTAGE, and the recent shouting matches between BILL O’Reilly and many others. His behavior is very disturbing. We can watch RUSH LIMBAUGH’s behavior escalate from mild to wild in the time it takes popcorn to get ready in the microwave. We can go to any search engine and find inappropriate behaviors from cursing, telling people to shut up, and Representative Joe Wilson, of South Carolina calling the President of the United States a liar on the Health Care Plan. You can go to AOL Celebrity News, TMZ, People Magazine… even Dr. Drew and see behaviors that are unbelievable. David Prosser, Supreme Court Judge, threw a microphone at a reporter, called Chief Justice Shirley Abrahamson a B…, and put a chokehold on Supreme Court Justice Ann Walsh Bradley, of Wisconsin. Yet it is said Supreme Court Judge, David Prosser has a “bit of a temper.” Then there is NANCY GRACE.  WOW! I would like to reserve my comments on Nancy Grace. I want to share and write a story on a life lesson I learned.

Who will take the responsibility for a diagnosis that has never been VALIDATED or given RECOGNITION? Who will come to the aid and DEFENSE OF NLDers? Will they be carted off to jail or locked away in a mental institution? Will they be medicated and given a counterproductive program that will keep them locked away forever?

What happens when people with NLD Syndrome behaviors manifest itself. They are PUNISHED.  Many people are paid for deplorable behavior. The ANGRY GRANDPA makes any type of psychological diagnosis look like the TOOTH FAIRY. BILL O’REILLY’s anger and outbursts make a BEHAVIOR DISORDER actually look like a person is BEHAVING.

You have taken a neurological right hemisphere disorder and basically, cut it off from society. They cannot read body language, read between the lines, identify people facial expression, and have no control over the intonation of their speech (rise and fall of their voice tone).  What you are basically saying you can PUNISH a BLIND PERSON for being BLIND. You are angry at a DEAF PERSON because you don’t feel they are LISTENING. For months I have written on NLD SYNDROME. I want every ATTORNEY in the NATION to turn their attention to my blog.

Can you imagine asking a person with NLD SYNDROME on trial, if they picture or imagine what happened at the scene of the crime? They have no imagination. If you put a person with NLD SYNDROME behind a glass mirror and ask them to identify a person in a lineup, what do you think is going to happen when they cannot determine similarities or difference in the person’s facial features. Ask someone with NLD SYNDROME, how far were they standing from the body when they cannot judge the distance. When NLD SYNDROME becomes explosive, ask them if they are related to BILL O’REILLY. Ask people who are diagnosed with NLD SYNDROME can they put themselves in another person’s place, when a true characteristic of NLD SYNDROME is ANOSOGNOSIA – the virtual inability to reflect on the nature and seriousness of one’s own problems which prevents them from recognizing differences between themselves and their peers. There was a lot of body language and inappropriate facial expressions that took place in that courtroom.

People diagnosed with NLD SYNDROME are very literal (BLACK and WHITE)… no GRAY AREA.  WHO DOES THIS RESEMBLE?  NLDers lack social appropriateness. NLDers will have an outburst of laughter at a funeral. JOSE BAEZ became the INTERPRETER of EMOTIONS AND BODY LANGUAGE. He SPELLED IT OUT.  JEFF ASHTON SMIRKED, TAMPERED with his NOSE, and LAUGHED. It was over. JEFF ASHTON lost his HUMANENESS and started resembling a person with NLD SYNDROME.  People with NLD SYNDROME are HUMANE, needs to be taught the appropriate skills. They are not EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED and HAVE UNINTENTIONAL BEHAVIORS. They are constantly PUNISHED for what they are BORN WITH. PROSECUTOR JEFF ASHTON INTENTIONALLY tried to ROCK THE CRADLE of JOSE BAEZ who remained a HUMAN BEING to the end.  It is the NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION THAT SPEAKS VOLUMES. NLD SYNDROME and those who are diagnosed with this disorder miss out on a lot of information. They display inappropriate body language.

How many people have been locked away in mental institutions, imprisoned, killed, or committed suicide because this diagnosis has been overlooked, not tested for, not VALIDATED or RECOGNIZED? This is NLD SYNDROME TODAY – NOT 41 years ago. As Luther Vandross would sing STARTING HERE, STARTING NOW–DO IT FOR THE ONES YOU LOVE. FOREVER, FOR ALWAYS, FOR LOVE.  In The Defense, For The Defense…NLD-A YouTube Moment there will always be a reasonable doubt. ON THE FLIP SIDE OF THE CHART people with NLD SYNDROME are those behaviors today that everyone else gets paid for and people with NLD Syndrome are PUNISHED and ISOLATED.

This is Dedicated to my son and all the NLDERS in the WORLD. This also goes out to PETE AND PAM WRIGHT of WRIGHT’S LAW