Category Archives: stress

Let Fathers Be Fathers

This experience is frightening for me. Our son has to go through a diagnostic evaluation to see if he has a learning disability. He was fine until he reached middle school then his grades begin to drop. The more things he had to do on his own he just didn’t seem to be able to get organized for his school work. I thought it was because his grandmother passed away. Quincy and his grandmother were so close. She practically raised him from a baby. His mother, Catherine, worked two jobs and her mother offered to help us out. JoAnn, Catherine’s mother, was a diabetic. I always felt my wife should quit one of her jobs so we could spend more time with Quincy. I didn’t mind making the sacrifice to work the extra hours. I wanted at least one parent to be with Quincy so he wouldn’t feel he was so alone. She was forced to quit one of the jobs after her mother died. I don’t know if she resented coming home.

I worked for the railroad. It was a fairly decent pay when I put in the extra long hours. Milton, a long time co-worker, and my best friend had a son diagnosed with autism. He shared many stories about his son. Milton’s stories frightened me because they always seemed to be so closely connected to my life. It appeared that Milton and his ex-wife had problems regarding their son being autistic. Later I learn Milton’s ex-wife had trouble with any women coming around her son or dating Milton.

Milton had gained full custody of his son. He was very proactive in his son’s life. Milton had started an autism support group. He had invited me several times. It always made me feel as if Milton was so many steps ahead of me. He continued to ask me to come and participate in the Autism group. Some parts of me wanted to attend but the other half of me was afraid. For some reason, I could see part of my life being like Milton. It felt like the movie Face Off.

Catherine and I had trouble in our marriage. She blamed herself for not being there when her mother passed away. We had problems before her mother ever came to stay. Her mother’s presence helped relieve a great amount of stress in our household.

JoAnn was so patient and kind with Quincy. She was Quincy’s rock. Catherine and I were so tired after working so many hours. It left us no room to deal with Quincy’s problems. It didn’t allow him the ability to process when he became angry and frustrated. JoAnn would always tell Catherine, Let Fathers be Fathers and Deal With It. Let the boy’s father deal with his behavior. Catherine was quick-tempered and lacked patience. It would make Quincy’s behavior become very explosive.

More and more Quincy’s behavior started changing and he begins to sleep a lot. I became greatly concerned because I thought Quincy was slipping into a state of depression. Catherine said Quincy just wanted attention and he was just lazy and she didn’t have the time to be bothered with his foolishness. Where did that response come from? When I ask her about her statement, she glared at me with her lip twisted and stormed out of the room. I guess that was my answer. We had begun to argue more frequently.

I was all for the evaluation but Catherine would get upset every time I would try to talk about it. We were getting closer to our evaluation date. Catherine had almost totally shut down. The moments of silence were killing me and I just couldn’t take it anymore. Every time I would try to discuss how we could help Quincy she would bring up her father and how he would deal with the situation. Catherine was very close to her father. At the age of 17, her father died on his way to work of a stroke. She always compared me to her dad. At first, I didn’t mind. I kind of thought it was an honor until I talked to JoAnn. Before Catherine’s mother died we had this conversation about JoAnn’s husband. He wasn’t the man my wife made him out to be.

In the heat of the moment, I tried to get Catherine to talk. When she mentioned her dad my head spun around like I was the star in the Exorcist. The next thing I knew I had revealed what Catherine’s mother had told me about her dad. At that moment I realized from the look on my wife’s face she never knew. My heart-felt as if it was going to come through my chest. I would never say or do anything to hurt Catherine. It was all over. Catherine ran into the bedroom and started grabbing her clothes out of the closet. I was trying to prevent her from leaving and I don’t remember what happened after that. I have tried to relive that moment in the bedroom a thousand times. The only thing I do remember is I was trying to guard my face. When I looked down, my shirt was bloody. From the mirror in the bedroom, I could see scratches all over my body. I called Milton to see if he could pick Quincy up from school. He never asked for an explanation.

Everything was going through my mind. Did she call the police? When were the police going to arrive? Whatever happened in that bedroom, Catherine never came back. The police never showed up. Who said that men don’t cry. I cried for days and days. I love my wife but we always seem to communicate with other people. That did not help our marriage at all. Months had passed and finally, I got a call from one of Catherine’s longtime friends from New York. Beverly told me Catherine was granting me full custody of Quincy. Before I could ask about Catherine, I was listening to the dial-tone. Just when I thought I had pulled myself together the crying came back. Here was my son asking all these questions and I had no answers. Quincy and I had to move on.

Quincy did get evaluated and he was diagnosed with NLD Syndrome. I have full custody of Quincy now. He often asks me if he was the cause of his mother leaving. He wonders will she ever come back. I wonder the same. Catherine and I never really communicated what was on our minds and in our hearts. We were both too young to have children. I am seeking professional help. There is so much I need to work through. I don’t want to be an angry parent. This isn’t just about my life. I need to be sure I don’t damage Quincy’s life. He has a lot to deal with. I will be right there for him. I have a lot to learn about NLD Syndrome. Milton is helping me to set up a support group and build a website. Yes, I am afraid that I will keep my promise to Quincy’s grandmother. Let Fathers be Fathers and continue to advocate for their children’s needs. Let Fathers be Fathers and understand the social and emotional part of their children’s life. Let Fathers Be Fathers and show the love, support, and embrace their child’s weakness just as they would rally around their strengths. JoAnn is probably looking down on me and Quincy today. As JoAnn would say, Let Fathers be Fathers and Deal With It.

DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to a young man who had to deal with it. He has done an exceptional job and is very supportive of his family and children. He would make any mother proud of how he is handling his life and the lives of family and friends he has touched. This one is for you, Willie Watson.

Just So You Don’t Think You Are Crazy

Ok, Gang, we are not ordering Pizza and we are not watching any Movies. You saw what happened to the Republicans and the Tea Party. They just don’t get it. Pizza gives you Gas and you can Blow Yourself Out of The Box. The Deal John Boehner tried to put in place went down 59 to 41 in the Senate. If John Boehner had read any of SMOKELBG’S SUPERBOWL STORIES he would have learned Twisting people’s’ Arm and Cursing at his Gang Will Not Work. First of all, John Boehner didn’t know his people. He needed a manual on the Republican Tea Party. The people he did know he decided to punish them. The ones he Punished found out he Didn’t Know Anything. John Boehner’s Gang has received a TKO. Teddy Pendergrass was Not singing the song. John Boehner only made the Republican Tea Party anger escalate and their behaviors showed its A… The Boehner Gang is now watching STAR TREK II, WRATH OF KHAHN. The movie was spectacular. The Internal Squabble behind the scenes of the movie is the Republicans vs. Tea Party.

Gene Roddenberry got kicked to the curb for changing his mind too much and going over the limit of his budget. He was given one of those positions, Last House On The Left. This is the Out Of Sight, Out Of Your Mind Position given to those who have problems with Productivity. Directors and Producers were brought in to finish the job. Gene Roddenberry and many others now understand every Promotion Is Not A Promotion. The Movie Industry has problems with their Gangs. You can ask Steven Spielberg, John Singleton, Clint Eastwood, Tyler Perry, and Spike Lee. Now Spike, the order of your name being last has nothing to do with your phenomenal skills. It is just the way SMOKELBG wrote it. Nothing Personal. Will John Boehner get one of these Promotions? His Directions wasn’t clear nor good. John Boehner produced very little in his Two Step Plan. Maybe he thought he was Dancing. Well, John, I hate to tell you, Don’t Go There. You might trip and Fail Again.

We have a new Democratic Emblem. Our Gang is going Full Circle With The Big D. “KNOW THIS”, (translation of KNOW THIS–I AM NOT PLAYING WITH YOU, OKAY) the Deal is for We The People and Our Nation. When Republicans and the Tea Party ran out of Toilet Tissue, I offered them Wipes. They were hesitant but they figured out what to use them for. It took awhile but that’s okay. Once they got cleaned off, I sent for John Boehner. I did not curse. I asked John Boehner to get his TUTTI-FRUTTI AW ROOTY BOOTY in here—A WOP-BOP-ALOO-MOP, ALOP BAM BOOM (translation–Drum Role Please). There was a problem in the Gang of Musicians. Pat Boone cleaned up Little Richard’s song and sold more copies than Little Richard. Hmm! I wonder why? This is another Trip Down Black Alley. Melissa Harris-Perry did an excellent job of explaining the RACIAL DIVIDE between Blacks, Whites, and Latinos on Income, Wealth, and Education on the Rachel Maddow Show. I went before the Nation and I expressed there may be many who may not agree with me or my decision. Hell, or even like me for being the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Michelle Bachman, I had nothing to do with you and Sarah Palin not getting into the Intelligent Women’s Club. You need to talk to SMOKELBG about that one. Patti Labelle and Micheal McDonnell would sing it to the tune of I’M ON MY OWN. What did Little Richard tell you, ladies? GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY you cannot have it Your Way. WOOOOO! You are not the Pointer Sisters. Michelle Bachman takes your Girlfriend, Sarah Palin, and Point Your Butt toward the door. On the way out see Ray Charles so he can tell you to Hit The Road Jack.

The Democrats and I roll to the tune of Music, not Musiq. I know how the Republicans and the Tea Party got the issues confused. Musiq Soulchild is the Artist and Songwriter who sings Teach Me. Before the deal goes down I hope the Republican and the Tea Party learn what the FULL CIRCLE BIG D is about to Teach Them. When Kool And The Gang lose their Kool, they would listen to the Big B, Barry White.  Barry White would sing Practice What You Preach to John Boehner, his Gang, and the Tea Party. If it hadn’t been for the Ohio Players jamming at the Democrats luncheon, the Whitehouse would be singing Fire. The only reason why we stayed up Day And Night On Two Occasions listening to the DEELE because Babyface, LA Reid, and Kevin Edmond were having problems with their Gang. Our Deal for We The People and Our Nation–We Cannot Go For Broke. Bobby Womack just told Chaka Khan, I Can’t Understand It. Chaka Khan sent an e-mail to Shanice saying I Feel For You. It is hard to go over to the Republican Camp and sing Silent Prayer. Envogue is at the Senate Hearing Committee singing Never Gonna Get It. Jade just broke through the door and said, “5, 4, 3, Yo Time Is Up”. Just So You Don’t Think You Are Crazy, Boyz II Men will wrap it up with We Come To The End Of The Road.

We The People and Our Nation have been under a lot of stress. Just before the darkest hour dawn will break. A little Laughter can go a long way. We learned who the GIVERS, TAKERS, and the RUMP SHAKERS were. It was not Guy, Blackstreet, or Wrecks-N-Effect. To all my NLDERS music is a good strategy to soothe the Savage Beast. If your choice is Movies, make sure it is a Movie you can Understand and Not Need Your Interpreter. People become annoyed when others talk about the show. Leave your cellphones at home. LAUGHTER reduces one’s STRESS. FRIENDS and RELATIONSHIPS are hard to maintain. Anyone can have trouble with their Gang. Keeping It Real For NLD Skills.

New Wave Physician__Healthy Choice Doctor For NLD

Scene:  Smokelbg is on the prowl for the most creative, updated, and therapeutic doctors in the field today. On her shopping tour, you will be surprised about the doctors she encounters. She wants the doctors to understand NLD Syndrome, and for people to RECOGNIZE that NLD Syndrome may be very common.

The American Psychiatric Association needs to be held accountable for the exclusion of NLD Syndrome after 41 yrs. of not placing it in their diagnostic manual.  In reviewing the history of the APA, Smokelbg understands why NLD Syndrome is not on the DSM-5. Smokelbg wants to bring awareness to her New Wave Physicians and people around the world.

Smokelbg:

It is TIME! I am on my way to shop for the most innovative doctors.  I want the best choice and a healthy choice for NLD Syndrome. This is where we cut the fat. A person diagnosed with NLD Syndrome needs excess fluff cut out of their diet. They need the facts and not the fat.  Dr. OZ gives explicit, concrete visuals, examples, and information.  We get the message and it is exactly what NLD needs.  Dr. OZ makes it a point to show how important it is to make life changes so we can extend our life by changing our diet. NLD needs lots of modification and choices incorporated into their life diet to enable them to work around their deficits and not be set up for failure. NLD doesn’t need unrealistic goals set. They need lots of TIME. That is what I really like about  Dr. Oz and his show. He makes it clear to his audience this just won’t happen overnight. It will take TIME to get results.

Dr. OZ:

Now Smokelbg, you know that I emphasize how important it is to cut back and eat smaller meals, exercise, and see a doctor before you take on any new exercise regimen. Our body needs to be watered like a plant. So make sure you drink plenty of water. Your body needs the appropriate amount of rest. It will take TIME and a STEP BY STEP PROCEDURE so you don’t expect quick results. From the results, you will make PROGRESS.

Smokelbg:

Dr. Oz, this is what I want people to understand about NLD. It’s going to take a long TIME and it is a STEP BY STEP PROCEDURE. In today’s world, we want everything to happen RIGHT NOW.   In our society, we want fast food, to get rich quick, and to become a superstar overnight. The fast food proves to be unhealthy for our body. The people who won the lottery made poor investments and lost all their money. The overnight superstars got cocky, acted out impulsively, and landed on the front page of the  National Enquirer.  So you see Dr. Oz, people choose to spend hours waxing and rubbing their cars, but they cannot take the TIME out of their day to BUFF THEIR LIFE.

We put so much time and preparation into planning a wedding. This process can take months. Very little preparation goes into preparing COPING SKILLS to help us get through a single day. Look at all the TIME we invest in our jobs and the STRESS it causes. We don’t take the TIME to develop STRATEGIES to help deal with the STRESS. Depression sets in and we are now the TIDY BOWL ACHIEVERS. The work we produce looks like it comes from A JANITOR IN A DRUM. The company thinks we are full of  DOO DOO. We need lots of encouragement and praise to be more productive on the job. Our performance is going to get worse.

Now look here Dr. OZ, the same thing can happen to a person with NLD Syndrome. They will probably end up at the psychiatrist suffering from depression, anxiety, panic, and stress. THE TIDY BOWL ACHIEVERS will end up in your office suffering from hypertension, high blood pressure, or a good old faithful heart attack. Either way, it is not good. Can we just get an e-mail that reads, “You guys are doing a fantastic job? No, you are not getting a raise but hugs, kisses, and warm fuzzies to you. Keep up the good work. Hey, it’s better than nothing.”  The TIDY BOWL ACHIEVERS would internally think this is a bunch of DOO DOO. NLDers are external and very verbose and they will say to their boss, “you are full of SHhhh.”

There goes the NLDERS job and we are back to square one. They will not hold back on what they think because of processing information from the outside in. This is only one of the reasons why they get fired so often. Truth by no fault is NLDers M.O. and people can’t take it straight up front.

Dr. OZ:

Thanks, Smokelbg, I’m beginning to get the picture of how it works for the NLDers. I appreciate the lesson. I tell you what, I’ll see if  I can get you in with Dr. PHIL. He would be quite fascinated with NLD Syndrome. I will give him a call and tell him you are on the way.

Smokelbg:

Thank you, Dr. OZ for letting me bend your ears back. I will be back in my red slippers to get my lab work done. I want to make sure my clock doesn’t stop ticking. I’m glad somebody around here is getting the picture. For a moment I thought I was going to have a heart attack fooling around with the APA.

I’m coming around the corner. Here’s Dr. Phil’s office. Okay, room 666. Aahh Man, you are kidding me!  Maybe he’s going to play the Devil’s Advocate. Excuse me, I have an appointment to see Dr.Phil. I hope this isn’t a long wait. Watch, the receptionist is going to tell me I’m scheduled for 10:45 a.m.

Receptionist:

Do you have your insurance card? Is the information on your insurance updated?  Is this your first visit here? Please fill out these papers and your appointment is at 10:45 a.m. Your copay is $25.00.

Smokelbg:

No, I have coupons. It’s just a Paul Ryan joke. Sure, everybody is scheduled at 10:45 in the morning…  Let me reach over here and read this magazine. Let’s see who is on the cover of TIME MAGAZINE today. All right! SHAQUILLE O’NEAL RETIRES. Enjoy your life SHAQ. I had a good SHAQ DAY yesterday.

Receptionist:

Dr. Phil is ready to see you now. Who is Paul Ryan?

Smokelbg:

If you don’t know you might be in good shape. Dr. Phil, thanks for seeing me on such a short notice. I brought you some books on Nonverbal Learning Disabilities.  I have Rourke, B.P. (1995) Syndrome of Nonverbal Learning Disability:  Neuro-developmental Manifestations, Guilford Press. Rourke, B.P. (1989) Nonverbal Learning Disabilities:  The Symbol and the Model, Guilford Press. Questions and Answers #1-48, Home Page: WWW.NLD-BPROURKE.CA.  Whitney, R. V. (2008),  Nonverbal Learning Disorder: Understanding and Coping with NLD and Asperger’s – What Parents and Teacher’s Need To Know, Pedigree Books. Semrud-Clikeman M, & Hynd GW. (1990).

Right hemisphere dysfunction in nonverbal learning disabilities: social, academic, and adaptive functioning in adults and children. Psychological Bulletin, 107, 196-209.  I will throw in another website, NLDONLINE.CA, just in case you want a quick overview.

Dr. Phil:

Thank you for the information Smokelbg. Do you always give the doctors a book when you first meet them?

Smokelbg:

Yes, I do. Two things can happen from this point on. It can piss the doctor off and they will feel intimidated that I’m questioning their knowledge on the subject we are about to explore.  On the other hand, the doctor will be thrilled with the information, willing to hear me out, and learn. Which one are you?

Dr. Phil:

I am willing to learn. Now Smokelbg, this is a lot. It will take some sessions for me to get through this information. Can you brief me?

Smokelbg:

Dr.Phil I did not want to get caught with my drawers down. All the outbreaks of behaviors from the now INFAMOUS RECOGNIZABLE had me worried. So many of them are getting caught with their drawers down, FOR REAL. There has got to be an explanation.  A lot of the RECOGNIZABLE look like they had traits and characteristics of NLD Syndrome.

Dr. Phil, it is not that hard. You have all this body language you display. When you start confronting the parents on your show it is all over your face. Your eyebrows can tell a story by themselves. People with NLD Syndrome cannot read body language and they miss a lot of information. Your eyebrows can’t even get a message to NLD… They have a developmental disability which causes the right hemisphere of the brain to process information differently. Do to faulty perception and how they process their information cause them to have a neuro-behavioral disorder which or unintentional behaviors. They are not emotionally disturbed. Bottom line is they need an interpreter just as you would need an interpreter in a foreign country.

How are you going to know how to act and respond if you don’t understand the language?  How are you going to develop friends and relationships in a country where the language is a barrier and is abstract?  NLD Syndrome has the same problem with abstract language in our own country. They can’t read between the lines.

I have always loved when Joan Rivers said,”CAN WE TALK”.  Nowadays people hate talking and communicating. The text in the same room with the other person only a few feet away. They e-mail you or fax you and you can be an ear-shot away. They FACEBOOK you to death, TWEET you out, and will have a YOUTUBE moment to blow your cover.  So some doctor needs to review the social communication aspect of NLD Syndrome.  We all begin to fall short in this area and begin to look like we have NLD Syndrome. What communication? What do you think Dr. Phil? Why are you looking at me like that?  Are we going to have one of those MADEA MOMENTS?

Dr. Phil:

You are doing fine. You have some valid points. No, we are not going to have a MADEA MOMENT.

Smokelbg:

Okay, you just start looking at me funny. People with NLD Syndrome can really talk. They are auditory-verbal and they want an explanation for everything. This is their mode of learning. They do not explore their environment. People feel they are being challenged and become very annoyed when questioned by  NLDers.

A person with NLD Syndrome will say,  ” I know you feel stupid because you don’t have an answer. Don’t worry you are not alone. There are a lot of stupid people in the world. The ones who are really stupid are the ones who say I’ll get back with you, but they know they are not coming back.”  Get the picture, Dr. Phil. Don’t go to a funeral.

They will walk up to a coffin and say exactly what we think silently. They may laugh out loud and point out the dress is ugly and say the person has on too much makeup. If someone comments the person did not look like themselves, the response from the person with NLD is this, “Have you ever seen them dead before. They look like this all the time.”

NLDers are not rude. Most of the time when they say something they are correct. We just tuck our comments away and when no one is around we express how we really feel. Now if the microphone is turned on, here comes the  YouTube Moment.We are basically NLD Syndrome Undercover. Who writes, or does math anymore, or pays attention to anyone other than themselves. We are in the computer age Doc. It’s all done for us. We covered the social aspect of NLD Syndrome. The only two areas left that encompass NLD Syndrome is MOTORIC  and VISUAL SPATIAL ORGANIZATION.  As far as motoric, NLD Syndrome nervous system is totally off track or compromised and they have a severe coordination problem. Gymnastics are out, tying shoes, and riding a motorcycle is under advisory alert: DON’T DO.  NLD Syndrome has difficulty with judging people, distance, and weight of objects. They are in your face and in your space. Disorganized is at the top of their list. Advisory Alert: No long road trips unless you have a GPS device. They don’t do puzzles.

They cannot see the forest for the trees,  recognition of faces/places, and is attached to the right or left hip of an adult because they bind through continuous dialogue to stabilize themselves. Well, Dr. Phil, I see you are checking your watch so you must have another appointment. Check out my other stories. When is our next appointment?

Dr. Phil:

Tell the receptionist to set you up for an appointment at 10:45 a.m. The same place. The same channel. The year 2666 will be a perfect time. I’m just kidding you. I will see you next month on July 20, Wednesday.

Smokelbg:

Don’t make me have a MADEA MOMENT and saw your beautiful leather sofa in half,  just kidding. I’ll be here in my devil’s outfit next month. I will go over to  Cambridge Building and see if I can set up an appointment with Deepak Chopra, and Dr. Drew. I must speak to the Dali Lama.

Dr. Phil:

Good luck Smokelbg. I thought she already had her suit on.  She is on a mission. Let me get in here and start reading so next month I will have a couch to sit on. I don’t want to be caught with my drawers down. We have had a lot of that behavior lately.

This story is dedicated to the New Wave Physicians at KU Med Center, University of Kansas Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science, Dr. Albert Buddy Poje Ph.D., Assistant Professor and Licensed Psychologist. KU Med Center, University of Kansas Neuropsychology and Rehabilitation Psychology, Dr. Monica Kurylo

PH.D. ABPP Board Certified in Rehabilitation Psychology, Assistant Professor, and Licensed Clinical Psychologist. I like to give special thanks to Dr. William Stiers, PH.D., Dr. Steve Colson PH.D., Dr. David Richman PH.D., Dr. R. Matthew Reese, PH.D.

To the following doctors who put so much hard work into diagnosing our children, I truly want to thank all of you. This is a time to bridge the gap and fight on the assessment. This blog is created to bring clarity and understanding to parents, teachers, a person with extraordinary minds, unique abilities, and multi-level learning styles, doctors, attorneys, entrepreneurs, and every person around the WORLD.  I will like to give a very special THANK YOU  to the founders of WORD PRESS, Matthew Charles Mullenweg and Mike Little for giving me and many bloggers the opportunity to PRESS THE WORD TO THE CURVE.  As CAMEO would say WORD UP.

Giving Recognition To The Unrecognized__Saving Lives

We give recognition to people, things, places, and subjects that are identifiable and previously known. Through encounters of their existence, we give validation to their achievement. This makes them credible and recognizable. Recognition is the most talked about and the latest trend.  Those who are rich, famous and recognizable suffer from SHAME, GUILT, and FEAR of HUMILIATION…  They battle knowing a problem exists or has been in existence for a long period time. The greatest FEAR for the people who are recognizable is someone will find out about their problem. They will lose their reputation and their  3G network (Glimmer, Glamour, and Gold) that comes along with their fame.  The people who go unrecognized is just the opposite. No credit is given to the unrecognizable. Their problems are masked, hidden, disguised and unknown. At this time or any time the unrecognized is definitely not the trend. Given no support from their community, no validation, the burden of SHAME and GUILT lies heavy in their hearts.

This is a welcome mat for  ISOLATION.  Those who feel the burns of SHAME, GUILT, FEAR, and ISOLATION may be tempted to glance into the window of SUICIDE. ISOLATION is their choice. They give themselves a hall pass for denial and it feeds the SHAME, GUILT, and FEAR. The unrecognized has fewer choices. The choice of ISOLATION is granted by the one that judges them. Judgment is not placed in their hands. They have poor judgment and put their lives in the hands of people who cannot be trusted.  The unrecognized will suffer the pain and agony of many cuts by the ones who judge, leaving them with lack of confidence and low self-esteem. This is a deficit for NLD and other exceptionalities. This can apply to the those with recognition.

It is very difficult for people to see themselves as having a problem or understanding the problems of others. It is twice as hard for them to express themselves.  They do not have the ability to recognize the unrecognizable.  NLD (Nonverbal Learning Disability) and many others fall into this category. A Neurological disorder with unintentional behaviors carries a distorted view through life’s window. These disorders cannot recognize the SHAME and GUILT due to a mass amount of confusion, frustration, anger, and ISOLATION. Those who have unique learning styles and extraordinary minds are ridiculed and rejected by others. They are not given the opportunity to become socially and emotionally competent.  WHY?  People feel it takes too long to teach them. There are too many accommodations needed to help them get from point A to B.  Many people feel the process is taking too long and they need results NOW. Once the behaviors cut loose for NLD, SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and anyone else that has an unrecognizable neurological disorder, it is all over for them. Just being unrecognized with no disorders is a problem. You are basically on your own. It is hard for people to understand the behavior or tolerate dealing with the behaviors of those who are not under the umbrella of the Autism Spectrum. Those who are recognized and under the Autism Spectrum includes Autism, Asperger, PDD-NOS, Rett Syndrome and Childhood Disintegrative Disorders. It is very difficult to deal with recognizable or unrecognizable behaviors when you are uneducated about them.

The psychological effect can take a toll on your life. Hiding, not knowing when it will all surface. How will you react?  My friends that have gone before me have left a message.  You are looking out of the window and your body gets too close to the edge, ask yourself which one is it. Is it your mind or your body that is too close? If it is your mind, look across the way and try to realize and recognize other people may have greater problems. If it is your body step back and remember the ones whose bodies were ridden with cancer and still fought to maintain what was left of their mind. This was their Quality of Life.  Before you sway too far out of the window and indulge in the thoughts of SUICIDE think about the SHAME, GUILT, and HUMILIATION you will place on your loved ones, your family, and your friends.  Think about it, get help, and save your life and others who love you. Don’t sink a ship.

The poem Rest Peaceful My Nubian Queen is dedicated to one of my great mentors. She taught me whenever it is time to go to the hospital always Remember that you can Remember. Always ask for a bed not by the window, but by the door. Look across the way and focus on the pain of another and your pain will diminish.

For those who are unrecognized, a chain of events will happen. You will struggle to gain respect and validation. It may take many years.  It has taken many years for the American Psychiatric Association to give NLD (Nonverbal Learning Disability) or SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) any recognition. They have not done so to this date. TIME is a precious commodity. All  IN TIME.

To the President of the United States: You have been riding on the wave of a tsunami. You have looked across the way.  The words you spoke transmitted respect to the life of an infamous recognizable now laid to rest. It was a life. You held steadfast to your 3Ps and in my book, you will always be given Recognition.

To  Catherine-Zeta Jones: You are not alone. I’m proud you came forward. You have taken the first step for the rest of your life toward healing. The SHAME, GUILT, FEAR, and ISOLATION lies in the label of MENTAL ILLNESS. Far too long many people have been stereotyped and have been afraid to seek help. I have sat behind the chart for many years with my son who is now 22 years of age. It was his diagnosis that has given me the extensive knowledge in the field of the neurosciences. My son is a masterful educator and one of my greatest mentors. He struggles in his life but we address every aspect of his neuropsychological disorder which is brain-based. This is the mental aspect where there are deficits in areas of writing, math, abstract language, social communication skills and more.  I have sat behind another chart. I sign off on my tweets as NLD Mom/cancer survivor, if I don’t run out of space. I can talk about my breast cancer. This is a physical illness. I lost a breast but it saved my life.

This story is about saving lives and the choices we make to help save others. Today, many women can take another route to conserve their breast, just as long as they conserve their mind and life with their choice.  If I can talk about a physical illness then others should be able to talk about their mental illness with NO Shame In Their Game.  Always remember you ask for help, you wanted to learn, and you wanted to live and SURVIVE. Today I give RECOGNITION to the most stereotypical illness in the medical profession. MENTAL ILLNESS–Let’s talk and raise awareness for MENTAL HEALTH and SAVE LIVES. NLD Mom/cancer survivor

Easter Under The Umbrella For NLD

Scene:  Sammy Spatial Relations and Fanny Faulty Perception explain why Nicky NLD does not want to participate in the Easter egg hunt. There are certain elements when activated within Nicky NLD which can bring out certain unwanted behaviors. This would be Nicky NLD’s beast. Sammy and Fanny are trying to figure out strategies and coping skills to help Nicky NLD.   Sammy wants to make the hunt easy for Nicky NLD and wants him to feel included.  Sammy Spatial Relations gives his view of his relationship with Nicky NLD for clarity and understanding. Fanny Faulty Perception wants people to understand what happens to Nicky NLD when he comes in contact with her family and other relatives.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

I’m glad you agreed to meet with me today. I appreciate you coming,  Sammy Spatial Relations. Is your back injury any better?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Not really, but I have a good doctor. I could have prevented this injury from happening. I know better. Judging from the size and weight of that pipe I thought my body was in the clear. My timing was off and Roscoe was up next to put his parts in the car.  At Ford Motor Company the order of operation is crucial. If one person is off it screws up the whole line.  I’m so glad that wasn’t Nicky NLD out there on the line with me.  He would be wrapped up like the mummy.  It would be a 50 car pile up.  Nicky NLD hasn’t built any relationships with direction, time, space, quantity, shape, movement, volume, order,  and size. These are not Nicky NLD qualities. This is what I am good at. He can have a relationship with others but he will receive a lot of false information. He needs to build a relationship with his body and use his senses to gather information to make judgment calls. The more he interacts with his environment, the more he would remember by not having to ask for information. This would help strengthen his problem-solving skills.

He would understand cause and effect, stick to his schedule, and compare and find out what he likes and dislikes. He would know the difference.  Through the eyes of Nicky NLD, it is hard for him to discriminate differences (visual-spatial). He cannot make his body move smoothly and accurately. That is why people think he is clumsy and he bumps into people and objects all the time (motor-spatial). Nicky NLD can’t participate because it takes both visual and motor spatial skills to finish the activity. This garden is a maze to him.  He felt trapped. Your family was pretty hard on Nicky NLD. This is why he doesn’t want to participate in the Easter Egg Hunt. You and your crew didn’t understand. I get why Nicky NLD got so angry.  We are inseparable. I’m trying to help him with his deficits not bring him down in front of the whole world. The key to helping Nicky NLD is giving him support, acknowledging his achievements, and correcting his mistakes without beating him down and calling him out of his name.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

So you are singing Nicky’s praises once again to the tune of Natalie Cole’s Inseparable.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

What you are saying to me right now is the very reason why Nicky NLD took out the shears and turned your garden maze into chopped spinach greens.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

Nicky NLD went too far. My family teasing him didn’t last forever.  It was fun and short-lived. You know Anthony Acute Stress is quite fond of Nicky NLD. Acute stress is normal. Any information Nicky received or event that makes him feels unpleasant stresses him out. It wasn’t like it was work related or he was caught in a traffic jam.

Hey, Charles Chronic Stress could have started in on Nicky NLD. Talkabout getting really bad results! Charles Chronic Stress just keeps pushing those magic buttons and continues his stress act. He refuses to go away.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

You and I both know that acute and chronic stress are the two major causes of faulty perception. Fanny Faulty Perception this is you. STRESS!

Fanny Faulty Perception:

Come on Sammy Spatial Relations, a girl has to cause a little drama once in a while in her life. It’s the way people perceive me and think about me that causes the stress. You know I can’t do this on my own. We all have life stresses. It could be financial, relationships, work-related, or health issues. Look deep inside of me and you will find out what it all boils down to. The individual perception and his/her thinking get them all worked up. I told you on Twitter to handle your business before your business handles you. How long will Nicky NLD be mad at us?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Nicky NLD just doesn’t pack his bags and go. He can empty the suitcase but the baggage will be there for a long time due to his memory. Your family is on his A-list and it will be years before it will move from the front to the back of his mind. I talked about what happens with Nicky NLD. We are still processing to this very day on ways to make the situation better.  This day is here once again. We have to find a better solution and minimize Nicky’s stress level. Did you invite your cousins Angela Anxiety, Pamela Panic Attack, and Sassy Suzy Stress?

Fanny Faulty Perception:

You know I did. It wouldn’t be a party without them.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Sassy Suzy Stress drives Nicky NLD up the wall. Around her, his stress doesn’t come out of the thin air. The air changes into the fog when he sees her. When she is out of sight his air is clear once again. Nostradamus can’t predict his stress level when panic, anxiety, and stress appears.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

I bought my dream car. The gas prices have gone up and now I’m stressed. I can’t afford the gas for this big 8 cylinder SUV.  I’m not selling my car. Maybe I should get another job. Sassy Suzy Stress is having work-related issues.  Anthony Acute Stress needs to cut back on his relationships. Three girlfriends are too much for him. Charles Chronic Stress has got health issues. Everything is wrong with him. I called Smokelbg up for some advice. She views this as an opportunity to learn. I like her advice but once out of her classroom, I will have a YouTube moment. The camera is rolling and I will be caught on tape doing something I feel I could have gotten away with. Anything or anyone can cause stress.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

The last time Nicky NLD visited Pamela Panic Attack, cousin to anxiety, it was disastrous. He was very uncomfortable and his heart sped up. He became cold one moment and hot the next. Nicky NLD tried to hide it but the fear was so intense it broke loose. I thought he was going to have a seizure but I was wrong. He complained of being nauseous. His hands begin to shake and perspiration covered his face. Nicky NLD said his stomach got queasy.  He shared with me what happened to his friend Tyrone Tourette when he hooked up with Pamela Panic Attack. Tyrone Tourette became light-headed and felt chest pains. He had shortness of breath and of course, his tics came out to play. Tyrone TS said Pamela Panic Attack is not the girl for him. He thought he was going to have a heart attack.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

How long did that last?

Sammy Spacial Relations:

Nicky NLD said the attacks didn’t last much longer than 10-15 minutes. He thought he was going crazy and his behavior would go over the cliff. As long as we provide him with coping skills and helpful strategies he will be equipped to handle the Easter Egg Hunt without any problems.

Fanny Faulty Perceptions:

How did things work out with Angela Anxiety?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Angela Anxiety is kind of common. She always seems to recur. Nicky NLD doesn’t want her around She will show up if you are physically ill or if it is a mental illness. Angela Anxiety can offset your mood and your emotional tone. The more fear Nicky NLD has his mood and thinking will be affected. You know he loves sports, especially football.

He had to work so hard just to be able to play the game.  This physical activity will be gone once Nicky NLD gets upset.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

Have you met the rest of Angela Anxiety’s family?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

I met some of them, but not all of them. I know for a fact we cannot invite Alice Agoraphobia. If Nicky NLD comes in contact with her he may stop traveling or get to the point he is afraid to be alone in the house. She makes him hate crowded places. Do not place her on the list for the Easter Egg Hunt.  Fanny Faulty Perception does not try it. Nicky NLD probably won’t show up.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

We could invite Shirley Specific Phobia.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Are you crazy? Why do you think Nicky NLD was running around butt-naked at the last Easter Egg Hunt?  We are trying to minimize his stress level not make him act and think irrational.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

I thought he wanted to shed some skin and I love the dance he did on the table.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Shirley Specific Phobia brought her pet snake, spiders, bees, and bugs. The dance you thought he was doing, he was trying to smash them and escape like Houdini. Nicky NLD is okay with dogs, birds, and flying. His friend doesn’t like needle injections, storms, and he is scared of water. Andy Autism is not that crazy about heights, automobile driving, and rodents.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

So I guess she won’t be invited.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

NO!

Fanny Faulty Perception:

I might as well scratch Sandra Social Phobia off the list. Nicky NLD hasn’t quite gotten over Arnesha, In The Look of Love Valentine’s Day,  for drinking up all of the liquor. Arnesha and Sandra are SAD (social anxiety disorder).  They have that intense fear of embarrassing themselves, of losing their bowels and bladder, and people thinking they are crazy. We gave them plenty of notice that we were going to have this egg hunt. Weeks passed and Sandra got so worked up and just couldn’t pull it off.  Remember when her sister got her in front of a crowd and told Sandra had wet her pants. As she got older I thought she would get better.  Sandra never recovered from the hurt of embarrassment.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

We don’t need her and Nicky NLD shaking and sweating at the same time.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

We got Gerald Generalize Anxiety. He would be kind of the minimum anxiety disorder for Nicky NLD.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

I really don’t want any anxiety around for Nicky NLD. I don’t know Gerald Generalize Anxiety.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

He would make a person lose sleep, have muscle tension, poor concentration and cause the person to be tired.  I recall when Nicky NLD was younger, his mom referred to him as being over-anxious. Gerald Generalize Anxiety doesn’t hang out with panic disorder, social phobia, and obsessive-compulsive orders or any other crew members. Now that Nicky

NLD is older he worries about his family, bills, and he drives me nuts talking about his girlfriend. Nicky NLD definitely doesn’t want Oscar OCD at the egg hunt.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Yeah, I heard about the squabble Tyrone Tourette and Oscar OCD have between them.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

OCD affects his friend Tyrone Tourette. Tyrone Ts was having tics and ended on the list (DSM-4) with Oscar OCD. Nicky NLD is still not on the list and it has made Tyrone Tourettes really angry. Oscar OCD has the NO NO THOUGHTS. These thoughts are grotesque,  forbidden, and very inappropriate, Oscar OCD own thoughts frighten him.

He is scared he may act upon his own impulsive thoughts. His thoughts are uncontrollable. He washes his hands a million times and ends up with dermatitis. Everyone and everything is contaminated. We are getting into the big league of anxiety and depression disorders. The risk gets high in Tyrone Tourette family. A lot of the people in his family develop OCD. Other mental disorders include people who pull their hair (trichotillomania), gambling, sexual behaviors, and shoplifting. Then you have the lesser of the evils. There are those who are obsessed with their looks.  They are either obsessed with the Barbie Doll factor/star in The Prince and The Frog.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

He’s out. No Easter Egg Hunt for Oscar OCD.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

You don’t want any of my family there.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Baby, you cause stress and your family is big-time stress inducers.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

What about Aaron Acute and Pierre Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

This is trauma and drama at its finest. Within the first month, Aaron’s drama starts right after his trauma.  Aaron went to the bar on 13th Wilshire where he was robbed, beaten, and stabbed.  He witnessed the killing of the owner of the bar. After that, he was running around like he had amnesia. When I tried to talk to him about what happened, he was very evasive. It appears as if his mind separated from his body. His memory was so poor he acted as if he was on the soap, Another World. Gerald General Anxiety came to visit. Aaron Acute Traumatic Stress took flight and fought any recall, flashback or dream that would be a friendly reminder to his hurt and pain. The acute stress persisted for three months.  He later was upgraded to post-traumatic stress.  Pierre Post Traumatic Stress lasted 6 more months. He started going downhill fast. Pierre is listed on the DSM4 as having low self-esteem, trouble in his relationships, permanently damaged goods, loss of hope in society and people. Pierre Post Traumatic Stress has started boozing and doing drugs. Well, I think in order to help Nicky NLD, you and your family will not be invited. Nicky NLD needs to be surrounded by people who will support, respect and stand with him. Your family just doesn’t have those qualities.

Advisory Alert: To the House and Senate Committee

In this story today there are those who have stood by the wayside and offered no moral support but were stress inducers. Our government has done the same. This story reveals characteristics and traits of people who had no common interest in the individual only to set the individual up for failure. Our government has done the same.

It is pointed out in the story how the character was ridiculed and disrespected. Our government has done the same. The story indicates how others have their own agenda to address their own issues. Our government has done the same. It opens the doorway for those in government who entertain the NO NO THOUGHTS to seek help, not act impulsively and destroy their homes and lives so the American People can maintain an ounce of dignity for those who are left in office. It is very hard to maintain the trust and respect of our government if the government continues to maintain the lack of dignity and respect of those in elected positions and others.

Our government has to learn to use the word NO in a positive format.   This word alone, NO, can reduce anxiety, panic, stress, and depression. NO can save lives.

It is time for our government to seek out the necessary help to once again become a healthy country, with a healthy heart, and a healthy mind.

SmokeLBG