Category Archives: depression

Giving Recognition To The Unrecognized__Saving Lives

by Linda Ballard

We give recognition to people, things, places, and subjects that are identifiable and previously known. Through encounters of their existence, we give validation to their achievement. This makes them credible and recognizable. Recognition is the most talked about and the latest trend.  Those who are rich, famous and recognizable suffer from SHAME, GUILT, and FEAR of HUMILIATION…  They battle knowing a problem exists or has been in existence for a long period time. The greatest FEAR for the people who are recognizable is someone will find out about their problem. They will lose their reputation and their  3G network (Glimmer, Glamour, and Gold) that comes along with their fame.  The people who go unrecognized is just the opposite. No credit is given to the unrecognizable. Their problems are masked, hidden, disguised and unknown. At this time or any time the unrecognized is definitely not the trend. Given no support from their community, no validation, the burden of SHAME and GUILT lies heavy in their hearts.

This is a welcome mat for  ISOLATION.  Those who feel the burns of SHAME, GUILT, FEAR, and ISOLATION may be tempted to glance into the window of SUICIDE. ISOLATION is their choice. They give themselves a hall pass for denial and it feeds the SHAME, GUILT, and FEAR. The unrecognized has fewer choices. The choice of ISOLATION is granted by the one that judges them. Judgment is not placed in their hands. They have poor judgment and put their lives in the hands of people who cannot be trusted.  The unrecognized will suffer the pain and agony of many cuts by the ones who judge, leaving them with lack of confidence and low self-esteem. This is a deficit for NLD and other exceptionalities. This can apply to the those with recognition.

It is very difficult for people to see themselves as having a problem or understanding the problems of others. It is twice as hard for them to express themselves.  They do not have the ability to recognize the unrecognizable.  NLD (Nonverbal Learning Disability) and many others fall into this category. A Neurological disorder with unintentional behaviors carries a distorted view through life’s window. These disorders cannot recognize the SHAME and GUILT due to a mass amount of confusion, frustration, anger, and ISOLATION. Those who have unique learning styles and extraordinary minds are ridiculed and rejected by others. They are not given the opportunity to become socially and emotionally competent.  WHY?  People feel it takes too long to teach them. There are too many accommodations needed to help them get from point A to B.  Many people feel the process is taking too long and they need results NOW. Once the behaviors cut loose for NLD, SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and anyone else that has an unrecognizable neurological disorder, it is all over for them. Just being unrecognized with no disorders is a problem. You are basically on your own. It is hard for people to understand the behavior or tolerate dealing with the behaviors of those who are not under the umbrella of the Autism Spectrum. Those who are recognized and under the Autism Spectrum includes Autism, Asperger, PDD-NOS, Rett Syndrome and Childhood Disintegrative Disorders. It is very difficult to deal with recognizable or unrecognizable behaviors when you are uneducated about them.

The psychological effect can take a toll on your life. Hiding, not knowing when it will all surface. How will you react?  My friends that have gone before me have left a message.  You are looking out of the window and your body gets too close to the edge, ask yourself which one is it. Is it your mind or your body that is too close? If it is your mind, look across the way and try to realize and recognize other people may have greater problems. If it is your body step back and remember the ones whose bodies were ridden with cancer and still fought to maintain what was left of their mind. This was their Quality of Life.  Before you sway too far out of the window and indulge in the thoughts of SUICIDE think about the SHAME, GUILT, and HUMILIATION you will place on your loved ones, your family, and your friends.  Think about it, get help, and save your life and others who love you. Don’t sink a ship.

The poem Rest Peaceful My Nubian Queen is dedicated to one of my great mentors. She taught me whenever it is time to go to the hospital always Remember that you can Remember. Always ask for a bed not by the window, but by the door. Look across the way and focus on the pain of another and your pain will diminish.

For those who are unrecognized, a chain of events will happen. You will struggle to gain respect and validation. It may take many years.  It has taken many years for the American Psychiatric Association to give NLD (Nonverbal Learning Disability) or SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) any recognition. They have not done so to this date. TIME is a precious commodity. All  IN TIME.

To the President of the United States: You have been riding on the wave of a tsunami. You have looked across the way.  The words you spoke transmitted respect to the life of an infamous recognizable now laid to rest. It was a life. You held steadfast to your 3Ps and in my book, you will always be given Recognition.

To  Catherine-Zeta Jones: You are not alone. I’m proud you came forward. You have taken the first step for the rest of your life toward healing. The SHAME, GUILT, FEAR, and ISOLATION lies in the label of MENTAL ILLNESS. Far too long many people have been stereotyped and have been afraid to seek help. I have sat behind the chart for many years with my son who is now 22 years of age. It was his diagnosis that has given me the extensive knowledge in the field of the neurosciences. My son is a masterful educator and one of my greatest mentors. He struggles in his life but we address every aspect of his neuropsychological disorder which is brain-based. This is the mental aspect where there are deficits in areas of writing, math, abstract language, social communication skills and more.  I have sat behind another chart. I sign off on my tweets as NLD Mom/cancer survivor, if I don’t run out of space. I can talk about my breast cancer. This is a physical illness. I lost a breast but it saved my life.

This story is about saving lives and the choices we make to help save others. Today, many women can take another route to conserve their breast, just as long as they conserve their mind and life with their choice.  If I can talk about a physical illness then others should be able to talk about their mental illness with NO Shame In Their Game.  Always remember you ask for help, you wanted to learn, and you wanted to live and SURVIVE. Today I give RECOGNITION to the most stereotypical illness in the medical profession. MENTAL ILLNESS–Let’s talk and raise awareness for MENTAL HEALTH and SAVE LIVES. NLD Mom/cancer survivor

Easter Under The Umbrella For NLD

by Linda Ballard

Scene:  Sammy Spatial Relations and Fanny Faulty Perception explain why Nicky NLD does not want to participate in the Easter egg hunt. There are certain elements when activated within Nicky NLD which can bring out certain unwanted behaviors. This would be Nicky NLD’s beast. Sammy and Fanny are trying to figure out strategies and coping skills to help Nicky NLD.   Sammy wants to make the hunt easy for Nicky NLD and wants him to feel included.  Sammy Spatial Relations gives his view of his relationship with Nicky NLD for clarity and understanding. Fanny Faulty Perception wants people to understand what happens to Nicky NLD when he comes in contact with her family and other relatives.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

I’m glad you agreed to meet with me today. I appreciate you coming,  Sammy Spatial Relations. Is your back injury any better?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Not really, but I have a good doctor. I could have prevented this injury from happening. I know better. Judging from the size and weight of that pipe I thought my body was in the clear. My timing was off and Roscoe was up next to put his parts in the car.  At Ford Motor Company the order of operation is crucial. If one person is off it screws up the whole line.  I’m so glad that wasn’t Nicky NLD out there on the line with me.  He would be wrapped up like the mummy.  It would be a 50 car pile up.  Nicky NLD hasn’t built any relationships with direction, time, space, quantity, shape, movement, volume, order,  and size. These are not Nicky NLD qualities. This is what I am good at. He can have a relationship with others but he will receive a lot of false information. He needs to build a relationship with his body and use his senses to gather information to make judgment calls. The more he interacts with his environment, the more he would remember by not having to ask for information. This would help strengthen his problem-solving skills.

He would understand cause and effect, stick to his schedule, and compare and find out what he likes and dislikes. He would know the difference.  Through the eyes of Nicky NLD, it is hard for him to discriminate differences (visual-spatial). He cannot make his body move smoothly and accurately. That is why people think he is clumsy and he bumps into people and objects all the time (motor-spatial). Nicky NLD can’t participate because it takes both visual and motor spatial skills to finish the activity. This garden is a maze to him.  He felt trapped. Your family was pretty hard on Nicky NLD. This is why he doesn’t want to participate in the Easter Egg Hunt. You and your crew didn’t understand. I get why Nicky NLD got so angry.  We are inseparable. I’m trying to help him with his deficits not bring him down in front of the whole world. The key to helping Nicky NLD is giving him support, acknowledging his achievements, and correcting his mistakes without beating him down and calling him out of his name.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

So you are singing Nicky’s praises once again to the tune of Natalie Cole’s Inseparable.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

What you are saying to me right now is the very reason why Nicky NLD took out the shears and turned your garden maze into chopped spinach greens.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

Nicky NLD went too far. My family teasing him didn’t last forever.  It was fun and short-lived. You know Anthony Acute Stress is quite fond of Nicky NLD. Acute stress is normal. Any information Nicky received or event that makes him feels unpleasant stresses him out. It wasn’t like it was work related or he was caught in a traffic jam.

Hey, Charles Chronic Stress could have started in on Nicky NLD. Talkabout getting really bad results! Charles Chronic Stress just keeps pushing those magic buttons and continues his stress act. He refuses to go away.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

You and I both know that acute and chronic stress are the two major causes of faulty perception. Fanny Faulty Perception this is you. STRESS!

Fanny Faulty Perception:

Come on Sammy Spatial Relations, a girl has to cause a little drama once in a while in her life. It’s the way people perceive me and think about me that causes the stress. You know I can’t do this on my own. We all have life stresses. It could be financial, relationships, work-related, or health issues. Look deep inside of me and you will find out what it all boils down to. The individual perception and his/her thinking get them all worked up. I told you on Twitter to handle your business before your business handles you. How long will Nicky NLD be mad at us?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Nicky NLD just doesn’t pack his bags and go. He can empty the suitcase but the baggage will be there for a long time due to his memory. Your family is on his A-list and it will be years before it will move from the front to the back of his mind. I talked about what happens with Nicky NLD. We are still processing to this very day on ways to make the situation better.  This day is here once again. We have to find a better solution and minimize Nicky’s stress level. Did you invite your cousins Angela Anxiety, Pamela Panic Attack, and Sassy Suzy Stress?

Fanny Faulty Perception:

You know I did. It wouldn’t be a party without them.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Sassy Suzy Stress drives Nicky NLD up the wall. Around her, his stress doesn’t come out of the thin air. The air changes into the fog when he sees her. When she is out of sight his air is clear once again. Nostradamus can’t predict his stress level when panic, anxiety, and stress appears.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

I bought my dream car. The gas prices have gone up and now I’m stressed. I can’t afford the gas for this big 8 cylinder SUV.  I’m not selling my car. Maybe I should get another job. Sassy Suzy Stress is having work-related issues.  Anthony Acute Stress needs to cut back on his relationships. Three girlfriends are too much for him. Charles Chronic Stress has got health issues. Everything is wrong with him. I called Smokelbg up for some advice. She views this as an opportunity to learn. I like her advice but once out of her classroom, I will have a YouTube moment. The camera is rolling and I will be caught on tape doing something I feel I could have gotten away with. Anything or anyone can cause stress.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

The last time Nicky NLD visited Pamela Panic Attack, cousin to anxiety, it was disastrous. He was very uncomfortable and his heart sped up. He became cold one moment and hot the next. Nicky NLD tried to hide it but the fear was so intense it broke loose. I thought he was going to have a seizure but I was wrong. He complained of being nauseous. His hands begin to shake and perspiration covered his face. Nicky NLD said his stomach got queasy.  He shared with me what happened to his friend Tyrone Tourette when he hooked up with Pamela Panic Attack. Tyrone Tourette became light-headed and felt chest pains. He had shortness of breath and of course, his tics came out to play. Tyrone TS said Pamela Panic Attack is not the girl for him. He thought he was going to have a heart attack.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

How long did that last?

Sammy Spacial Relations:

Nicky NLD said the attacks didn’t last much longer than 10-15 minutes. He thought he was going crazy and his behavior would go over the cliff. As long as we provide him with coping skills and helpful strategies he will be equipped to handle the Easter Egg Hunt without any problems.

Fanny Faulty Perceptions:

How did things work out with Angela Anxiety?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Angela Anxiety is kind of common. She always seems to recur. Nicky NLD doesn’t want her around She will show up if you are physically ill or if it is a mental illness. Angela Anxiety can offset your mood and your emotional tone. The more fear Nicky NLD has his mood and thinking will be affected. You know he loves sports, especially football.

He had to work so hard just to be able to play the game.  This physical activity will be gone once Nicky NLD gets upset.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

Have you met the rest of Angela Anxiety’s family?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

I met some of them, but not all of them. I know for a fact we cannot invite Alice Agoraphobia. If Nicky NLD comes in contact with her he may stop traveling or get to the point he is afraid to be alone in the house. She makes him hate crowded places. Do not place her on the list for the Easter Egg Hunt.  Fanny Faulty Perception does not try it. Nicky NLD probably won’t show up.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

We could invite Shirley Specific Phobia.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Are you crazy? Why do you think Nicky NLD was running around butt-naked at the last Easter Egg Hunt?  We are trying to minimize his stress level not make him act and think irrational.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

I thought he wanted to shed some skin and I love the dance he did on the table.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Shirley Specific Phobia brought her pet snake, spiders, bees, and bugs. The dance you thought he was doing, he was trying to smash them and escape like Houdini. Nicky NLD is okay with dogs, birds, and flying. His friend doesn’t like needle injections, storms, and he is scared of water. Andy Autism is not that crazy about heights, automobile driving, and rodents.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

So I guess she won’t be invited.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

NO!

Fanny Faulty Perception:

I might as well scratch Sandra Social Phobia off the list. Nicky NLD hasn’t quite gotten over Arnesha, In The Look of Love Valentine’s Day,  for drinking up all of the liquor. Arnesha and Sandra are SAD (social anxiety disorder).  They have that intense fear of embarrassing themselves, of losing their bowels and bladder, and people thinking they are crazy. We gave them plenty of notice that we were going to have this egg hunt. Weeks passed and Sandra got so worked up and just couldn’t pull it off.  Remember when her sister got her in front of a crowd and told Sandra had wet her pants. As she got older I thought she would get better.  Sandra never recovered from the hurt of embarrassment.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

We don’t need her and Nicky NLD shaking and sweating at the same time.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

We got Gerald Generalize Anxiety. He would be kind of the minimum anxiety disorder for Nicky NLD.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

I really don’t want any anxiety around for Nicky NLD. I don’t know Gerald Generalize Anxiety.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

He would make a person lose sleep, have muscle tension, poor concentration and cause the person to be tired.  I recall when Nicky NLD was younger, his mom referred to him as being over-anxious. Gerald Generalize Anxiety doesn’t hang out with panic disorder, social phobia, and obsessive-compulsive orders or any other crew members. Now that Nicky

NLD is older he worries about his family, bills, and he drives me nuts talking about his girlfriend. Nicky NLD definitely doesn’t want Oscar OCD at the egg hunt.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Yeah, I heard about the squabble Tyrone Tourette and Oscar OCD have between them.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

OCD affects his friend Tyrone Tourette. Tyrone Ts was having tics and ended on the list (DSM-4) with Oscar OCD. Nicky NLD is still not on the list and it has made Tyrone Tourettes really angry. Oscar OCD has the NO NO THOUGHTS. These thoughts are grotesque,  forbidden, and very inappropriate, Oscar OCD own thoughts frighten him.

He is scared he may act upon his own impulsive thoughts. His thoughts are uncontrollable. He washes his hands a million times and ends up with dermatitis. Everyone and everything is contaminated. We are getting into the big league of anxiety and depression disorders. The risk gets high in Tyrone Tourette family. A lot of the people in his family develop OCD. Other mental disorders include people who pull their hair (trichotillomania), gambling, sexual behaviors, and shoplifting. Then you have the lesser of the evils. There are those who are obsessed with their looks.  They are either obsessed with the Barbie Doll factor/star in The Prince and The Frog.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

He’s out. No Easter Egg Hunt for Oscar OCD.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

You don’t want any of my family there.

Sammy Spatial Relations:

Baby, you cause stress and your family is big-time stress inducers.

Fanny Faulty Perception:

What about Aaron Acute and Pierre Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Sammy Spatial Relations:

This is trauma and drama at its finest. Within the first month, Aaron’s drama starts right after his trauma.  Aaron went to the bar on 13th Wilshire where he was robbed, beaten, and stabbed.  He witnessed the killing of the owner of the bar. After that, he was running around like he had amnesia. When I tried to talk to him about what happened, he was very evasive. It appears as if his mind separated from his body. His memory was so poor he acted as if he was on the soap, Another World. Gerald General Anxiety came to visit. Aaron Acute Traumatic Stress took flight and fought any recall, flashback or dream that would be a friendly reminder to his hurt and pain. The acute stress persisted for three months.  He later was upgraded to post-traumatic stress.  Pierre Post Traumatic Stress lasted 6 more months. He started going downhill fast. Pierre is listed on the DSM4 as having low self-esteem, trouble in his relationships, permanently damaged goods, loss of hope in society and people. Pierre Post Traumatic Stress has started boozing and doing drugs. Well, I think in order to help Nicky NLD, you and your family will not be invited. Nicky NLD needs to be surrounded by people who will support, respect and stand with him. Your family just doesn’t have those qualities.

Advisory Alert: To the House and Senate Committee

In this story today there are those who have stood by the wayside and offered no moral support but were stress inducers. Our government has done the same. This story reveals characteristics and traits of people who had no common interest in the individual only to set the individual up for failure. Our government has done the same.

It is pointed out in the story how the character was ridiculed and disrespected. Our government has done the same. The story indicates how others have their own agenda to address their own issues. Our government has done the same. It opens the doorway for those in government who entertain the NO NO THOUGHTS to seek help, not act impulsively and destroy their homes and lives so the American People can maintain an ounce of dignity for those who are left in office. It is very hard to maintain the trust and respect of our government if the government continues to maintain the lack of dignity and respect of those in elected positions and others.

Our government has to learn to use the word NO in a positive format.   This word alone, NO, can reduce anxiety, panic, stress, and depression. NO can save lives.

It is time for our government to seek out the necessary help to once again become a healthy country, with a healthy heart, and a healthy mind.

SmokeLBG

No Shame In Their Game On ST. Patrick’s Day

by Linda Ballard

Scene: Tyrone Tourette, known as TS (cousin of Bobby Tourette), is having drinks and conversing at an Iris Pub called Slimery Otoole. Tyrone Tourette and Catrina Schizophrenia give some background information on themselves. Nicky NLD is waiting for the story to be told on how St.Patrick’s Day got started.  Tyrone Tourettes, before he gets too much green beer in his system, will tell the story. Nicky NLD is running out of patience.

Tyrone Tourette:

Nicky,  look at how crowded Slimery Otoole is tonight. It’s jammed packed. Tyrone is going to take you on his TS tour. I’ll Take You There just like the Staple Singers and tell you how St. Patrick’s Day came into existence.

Nicky NLD:

Tyrone are you sure you don’t want me to tell the story?

Tyrone Tourette:

Why should you tell the story?

Nicky NLD:

Once your tics kick in, it could get messy.

Catrina Schizophrenia:

What are Tics?

Tyrone Tourette:

Catrina Schizo, I have this neurological disorder where people describe me as having strange body movement over and over.  Some people have this image in their head of me having involuntary movement and making noises called tics. I don’t like to be stereotyped.

Catrina Schizo:

I feel you on that one Tyrone. I have this severe brain disorder that disables me from being able to carry out my life. People try to stereotype me and say that I hear voices others don’t hear. They say I believe other people are reading my mind, controlling my thoughts, and I’m plotting to harm someone.

Tyrone Tourette:

Catrina Schizo that IS what you do.

Catrina Schizo:

Wait a minute Tyrone… The key word is I MAY do these things… MAY, okay?

Tyrone Tourette:

Let me get your key and unlock your door. You are talking to Tyrone baby, I know what you do.

Nicky NLD;

Come on TS,  ease up off of Catrina  Schizo. This is a big deal for her. Remember we use to force her to talk. We knew when she didn’t take her medication and wasn’t in therapy.  I did not like seeing her in a catatonic state. She shut down as tight as a drum and was upset about it. I mean agitated.

Tyrone Tourette:

Look at you Nicky NLD, using analogies. I remember when you didn’t do double meanings.

Nicky NLD:

I have gotten better. As long as the person who uses the analogy explains it right away.  I won’t get lost in the conversation. Are you going to tell the story or not?

Tyrone Tourette:

Be patient Nicky NLD. I want people to know some things about me and Catrina Schizo. There is no shame in our game.

Nicky NLD:

You are right. People learned about me in the Who In The World Is NLD. Go ahead, man. Do your thang.

Tyrone Tourette:

Tourette’s syndrome (TS) is noticed around 7-10 years of age. It shows no prejudice. Tourette’s syndrome can affect anyone. Men are affected three times more than women. It can last a lifetime. In one’s teens, it can get butt-ugly. Later on, they may improve in the late teens on into their adulthood.

Catrina Schizo:

I want to learn more about your motor tics.

Tyrone Tourette:

Sure, sometimes they are simple motor tics. These are brief and I don’t use a lot of muscles. I can have eye blinking, making faces (grimaces),  jerking the head or shoulders or shrugging shoulders. With vocalizing tics I will clear my throat repetitively, sniffing, making grunting sounds, or barking. I use more muscle with complex tics. You can get the combo like at McDonald. I can make faces, twist my head and shrug my shoulders. There are times when people think that I’m doing the other complex tics on purpose. These are hopping, jumping, bending, sniffing, twisting, and touching objects. There are times when I have phrases of words that sound like jibber-jabber. It can get really bad if I do harm to myself and I punch myself in the face, or the cursing (coprolalia) or echolalia (repeating word or phrases of others).  Who do you know that does that hopping around thing?  Don’t answer that. That is another story another day.

Catrina Schizo:

I bet people think you are crazy.

Tyrone Tourette:

How are you going to call somebody crazy?  Are you sure this is me you are talking to and not someone you think you see or hear?

Catrina Schizo:

Do you really want to find out if I’m violent are not? You know, I have grown pretty fond of you. Sometimes we have the tendency to hurt the ones we are closest to.

Tyrone Tourette:

Girl, don’t make me unfriend you and push the button. I do have a Facebook account and I will Tweet you out.

Nicky NLD:

Is your collar on that shirt too tight around your neck? I hope your shirt is the right size. The last time you had neck tics.

Tyrone Tourette:

It’s all good. The last time I had tried to suppress my tics,  it only made them worse. I do better when my tics are expressed. Letting it build up is not good for me at all. A lot of times people think I’m doing this on purpose. I don’t know what causes Tourettes Syndrome. Let’s put it this way, I have unintentional behaviors that I don’t plan. It happens and my brains play a big part in the way I react. These neuro-behavioral problems can be caused by not paying attention, hyperactivity, and being impulsive. The guys (disorders) that hang out with me and are associated with me is OCD and ADHD. Even though my buddies know I can suffer from depression and anxiety they still remain to be my friends.

Hey, Catrina Schizophrenia you are up to bat. Tell us about yourself.

Catrina Schizo:

I have some positive symptoms about me.

Nicky NLD:

Is that positive good or positive bad?

Tyrone Tourette:

How can a positive symptom be bad?

Nicky NLD:

Tyrone TS, you are full of your ignorant oil (liquor). You can be HIV Positive, that is not good, and you could be like Catrina Schizophrenia, very delusional and not being able to face reality.

Catrina Schizo:

If you guys let me finish, I’ll tell you the rest.

Tyrone Tourette:

Ahhhhh Yeah Baby, Take us there (too much to drink).

Catrina Schizo:

As long as I take my meds, I’ll do okay. I do have psychotic behavior. Sometimes I lose touch with reality. This can come or go. Right now I’m not the healthiest person.Yes, I do hallucinate. I just really need to keep up with my treatment.

Tyrone Tourette:

I’m hallucinating right now.

Nicky NLD:

Tyrone you have enough green beer and Irish cream Whiskey in you already. I can’t tell you from Catrina Schizo.

Catrina Schizo:

It’s not like that Tyrone. I hear voices. My voices talk to me about the way I’m behaving. My voices order me to do things, alert me to dangers, and my voices can talk to each other.I had been hearing voices for a very long time before my family found out.  Bruce Willis could see people in the movie Sixth Sense. I see people too. I can feel people touching me. I can smell odors that others can”t smell. People try to tell me it’s nothing there but I know for a fact I see objects.

Tyrone Tourette:

You got some skills. Did you take your meds before you came out? You still go to treatment?

Nicky NLD:

Let her finish.

Tyrone Tourette:

Just checking Baby, this is the TS.  I did not want my tics to come out and play.

Catrina Schizo:

I am delusional. Many times people have proven me wrong and showed me what I am believing isn’t true. My delusions can get pretty bizarre. One time I thought Rachel Maddow was broadcasting my thoughts on her  TV program. Chaka Khan was out impersonating me. My boyfriend, Kanye West was mad because my album came out before his. He started cheating on me, then he tried to poison me. I reported him to the police for harassment. He had been spying on me for months.

Tyrone Tourette:

Your mind works like that for real?  Girl, I will trade you my disorder. I hope Jennifer Hudson got over me. I know she got married but she still wants me. Right.

Catrina Schizo:

These are things I believe. It is called delusions of persecution.

Tyrone Tourette:

Wooooh, I think you sobered me up. I have got to keep my eyes on you.

Catrina Schizo:

Sometimes it’s hard organizing my thoughts to make logical sense. I talk nonsensical and in garble. It is hard to understand me. I have thought to block. When I am talking to a person it feels like someone kidnapped my thoughts. You know what, I can even make up meaningless words called neologisms.

Nicky NLD:

I know someone who acts this way.

Tyrone Tourette:

Who?

Nicky NLD:

My girlfriend.

Tyrone Tourette:

Oh Man, you sure you don’t want to crash at my house until you have a talk with your girlfriend?

Nicky NLD:

Thanks for the offer but I can’t prolong what I suspected all the time.

Tyrone Tourette:

The offer stands whenever you are ready.

Catrina Schizo:

I’m not finished. I have body movement that I do over and over when I get agitated but not like yours Tyrone Tourette. Back in the day when there was little treatment, I would be in that catatonic state not responding to others. My main course meal is I hear voices. The negative symptoms are tricky and hard to identify. People mistake them for depressions or other symptoms. It disrupts ones normal emotion and behaviors. You notice how Meridia’s face doesn’t move (flat affect) and her voice is dull. It always seems to be monotone. No matter how hard she tries she never sticks to her planned activities. You have to stick a crowbar in her mouth to force her to speak.  She needs help with everyday tasks and I would constantly get on her about her hygiene. She was a hot mess. I thought she was lazy and trifling but this was all because she is schizophrenic. Nicky NLD you remember Rita?

Nicky NLD:

Yeah, I had a crush on Rosy Cheeks Rita. What happens to her?

Catrina Schizo:

She had some psychological testing. Her working memory wasn’t working. She didn’t have the ability to use information immediately after she learned it. Rita never stayed in focus or paid attention. Rita had problems with understanding the information to make a decision. This is called poor executive functioning. Cognitive symptoms are hard to find unless they are tested for.  These symptoms are understated. It was hard for her to keep a job, lead her life, and she was emotionally stressed out.

Nicky NLD;

That is a lot of information on my homegirl. Hey, can we get to the story now?

Tyrone Tourette:

Yeah, this is the new and improved Clarence Update.  St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated on March the 17. This is the day that St.Patrick died. We associate this day with the color green,  leprechauns, fairies, shamrocks, snakes, corn beef and cabbage, Irish music, green beer and Irish Creme Whiskey, and of course the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.

The Shamrock was a sacred plant that represented the rebirth of spring. The Celts called it a “seamroy”. The shamrock later represented the Irish breaking out and expressing themselves and taking pride in their culture and advocating for rights to be who they are. The English began to take over the Irish land and they didn’t want the Irish to speak their language nor practice their religion, which was Catholicism. The Irish said, “screw this we are wearing our shamrock and since we like the music we are going to sing it to the tune of Kool Moe Dee, How You Like Me Now”.  This pissed Queen Lizzy No.1 off.  Every artist and piper that was Irish got the ax. Nicky NLD you really are going to like this.

The Celts expressed themselves verbally. Since the APA(American Psychiatric Association) won’t open up a community for you this would have been the perfect place.  They rocked the house with their verbal expression of storytelling, singing, and dancing. Their oral culture of religion, history, and their folklore was passed down through the ages.

They got a little depressed but they never stopped singing “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross. Since they never gave up, today they’ve got popular bands like the Chieftains, Clancy Brothers, and Tommy Makem. You just keep singing that tune “Hold on I’m Coming” by Sam and Dave.

That story about the snakes was made up. St Patrick didn’t go up on a rock and banish thousands of snakes.  He took his behind up there. He drove his Orkin’s truck and pulled out his Real Kill snake spray gun. The snakes were a metaphor to get rid of the idea of worshiping all those crazy statutes the English worshiped.  Their traditional meal was always cabbage and corn beef.  Corn beef didn’t show up until the turn of the century.  The corned beef got pricy. So the Irish immigrants, now living in New York City on the lower east side, found a way to save money by bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan. They got the hook up from their Jewish neighbors and all went well.  Then you had shorty running around. These were the leprechauns known as “”.

Little dudes with tree stump bodies.  They were so paranoid about their pot of gold. They used voodoo, hoodoo, and doo doo to protect their funds.  The Leprechauns didn’t have anything to do with St. Patrick’s day. Do you see how lies get started?  In 1959 Walt Disney got creative and threw the leprechauns in the mix.  In 1962 Chicago River has become famous for being dyed green on St. Patrick’s Day.  The Irish grew in numbers and became the Green Machine and gain Respect just like Aretha Franklin’s song. They are no longer considered the Drunken Monkeys.

Catrina Schizo:

Can you get me a date with one of those little guys?

Nicky NLD:

See what you did, Tyrone Tourette. You know Catrina Schizo doesn’t need any more false reality in her head.

WARNING: To all those who read this story…  if there is anything in this story that sounds like you,  a friend or a family member, get to a doctor immediately. We don’t want any Shame In Your  Game.

Superbowl Game Time, Rockin’ the List

by Linda Ballard

For the first time in the forty-year history of the franchise … the NLD’ers.   It has been a painstaking miniseries and a Pee Wee Herman’s Big Adventure, but it finally paid off.  The fans are quite mystified by the NLD’ers.  They have been around for years but no one has been scoping them out.

Walk with me.  I see Commissioner District.  Commissioner District can you tell me anything about the NLD’ers?  “No, who in the hell are these guys and what spectrum do they come from?”  The Commissioner commented:  “I know about Aspergers and my money on them.”

Aspergers is a tough team to beat.  They are not very sociable.  It is not that making friends and developing relationships don’t matter, but they only hold one special interest.  They go on and on about that interest and people become frustrated and think they are boring or only into themselves.  Well, it won’t be any love lost between the NLD’ers and the Aspies.  There will be no Hollywood hugs and kisses between them.

So, Bobby Tourette, what is the big rivalry between the NLD’ers and the Aspies?   Remember we have kids in the house, just hold the cursing down!  Well, the NLD’ers hold many interests.  They can converse on any topic.  The Aspies think that NLD’ers is the know-it-all.  NLD’ers volume gets pumped up on their vocals and then they’re in your face and in your space.  This is not intentional.  Hey, I get along with the NLD’ers.  The Aspies will let you know they are not interested.  You might as well find someone or something else to do.

Mark Autism you have been in the game for over thirty years.  You know what it is like to be Number #1.  What is your perspective on the game?  Jack PDD-NOS  it is like being at the top of the Billboard’s records chart. This is a very recognizable label.  You know how that works Jack PDD-NOS. Take, for instance, you are a little bit of this and a little of that and not enough to qualify for anyone’s team.  You need a real label.  Dr. Psych.  despises you.  Dude, get rid of the NOS (not otherwise specified) and you can come out and play with the big boys.  People might think you are that NOS caffeine drink.

Andre ADHD pays attention and tries to stay focused on the commentary,  but he can’t put the Munch and Crunch down.  How do you think the NLD’ers will do against the Aspies?  Well, Mark Autism,  this will be a bloodbath.  Right now,  Aspergers is pretty hot under the collar.  Dr. Psych and his followers decided to drop the Aspies off the list and put them down with NOS, of all players.  Do you know this will affect their insurance, state funding, and definitely affect their educations?

We are in for one hell of a game. I don’t know why they would have picked the American Psychiatric Association to moderate the game.  When the Aspies see the APA they are going to go off and start cursing like Bobby Tourette.  They are so focused on the list.  I wonder will they be able to play the game?  Do not mess with the Aspies special interest. The NLD’er just might pull this one-off. They have a lot going on. Winning this game means a lot to the underdog. For the first time in the history of forty years, there will be more testing, state funding, insurance coverage, school reformation, and they will be recognizable. NLD’ers will take their rightful place on the DSMV, hold their trophy in the air and wave it like they just don’t care. Keep your heads to the sky and they will be Rockin’ the List.