Where Is Your Sense Of Normal?

Where did it go? What happened to your ability to separate RIGHT from WRONG? Where are your morals? So I guess you don’t visit the TRUTHS playground. Why would you ENDORSE a liar, a cheater, a deceiver, and a heart-breaker?

Whatever happened to TRUST? It all boils down to YOUR SENSE Of NORMAL. My journey to your side of the chart wasn’t easy. As my feet touch down on the pavement I recognize so many people have lost their SENSE OF NORMAL.

They have been in their IVORY TOWER too long. Whomever their circle of friends is, this is who and what they relate to.

The ENVIRONMENT, the PEOPLE you surround yourself with, and the PEOPLE you ENDORSE play a big part in YOUR SENSE OF NORMAL. The bottom line is knowing who you are as a person, to evaluate and separate the truth from a lie.

Most important of all is walking away with your self-esteem intact and not letting those who challenge your action/behaviors make you feel bad about yourself. Now you are on my turf, THE FLIP SIDE OF THE CHART.

The grass is definitely a different color and the turf is not the same nor the people. I came to you to discuss the UNINTENTIONAL BEHAVIORS of NLD SYNDROME and bring AWARENESS.

My deal was to help you understand how people who are diagnosed with NLD Syndrome are shamed, embarrassed, humiliated, and isolated because of their NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER. Do they have a CHOICE?

Are you beginning to understand why this diagnosis has been overlooked by the AMERICAN PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION(APA) for 41 years? The APA hasn’t done a good job. They have not been able to arrive at an intelligent decision regarding the DSMIV. They couldn’t “DIAGNOSE a DONUT.”

APA has a very strong correlation with SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER, REPUBLICANS, and PRETENDERS/CONTENDERS. NONE of these people have been able to do an effective job. It ain’t personal. Need I say MO!

The burden of wearing just a few characteristics such as rude, cruel, unintelligent, awkward, angry, social blunders, and “an oddball” rests on the shoulders of those diagnosed with NLD SYNDROME.

People who are diagnosed with a NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER and UNINTENTIONAL BEHAVIORS have been misjudged, misinterpreted, and punished. In contrast, the REPUBLICANS have literally gotten away with murder and their INTENTIONAL behaviors have been rewarded many TIMES.

People with NLD SYNDROME are highly criticized for their poor choices and left without a voice. They are often presented with too many choices and have difficulty with organizational skills, and much more.

In comparison to NLD’ERS, The REPUBLICANS and PRETENDERS/CONTENDERS have similar difficulty with organization, decision-making, social blunders, and lack of communication skills.

So the PEOPLE of OUR NATION are expected to get on board and ENDORSE one of these KNUCKLEHEADS. NO! I don’t think so. Where is YOUR SENSE OF NORMAL? So the REPUBLICANS BEHAVIOR is STRAIGHT UP INTENTIONAL.

Did you forget this word ANOSOGNOSIA? ANOSOGNOSIA is one of the strongest CHARACTERISTICS OF NLD SYNDROME. I don’t mind having a review. We can work this out. No matter how many TIMES I have to go over this word I will.

In the PRESIDENT’S speech, he mentioned the word JOBS many TIMES. OH WELL! ANOSOGNOSIA generally means that due to the nature of NLD SYNDROME, people diagnosed with this disability do not have the ability to recognize the seriousness of their own problems.

They see their peers as they see themselves, not having a problem. When faced with pain, hurt, and sorrow these EMOTIONS need to be POINTED OUT to a person with NLD SYNDROME. They are unable to process another’s life experience.

They are unable to put themselves in your shoes or in your place. However, it is not a hopeless situation and NLDERS can learn compassion, empathy, and support if given the opportunity.

Emotions can be very difficult to teach unless you are willing to break yourself down to the lowest denominator. The mantra becomes: “YOU TEACH, and YOU TEACH, and YOU TEACH.”

For example, a stroke victim may need REhabilitation and occupational therapy to relearn life skills, NLD’ERS need habilitation to be taught life skills.

This is mandatory teaching before they are ridiculed, their self-esteem is taken out of the box, and they become isolated from society.

Annoyance and frustration ride on the backs of people who have come into contact with NLD’ERS for an extended period of time. Guess who is the first one that is cast aside and thrown into the lion’s den. Need I say MO!

The REPUBLICANS have used this characteristic of NLD SYNDROME, ANOSOGNOSIA, along with their RADICAL INTENTIONAL BEHAVIOR. They MAXED OUT their BEHAVIORAL credit cards and the 18 numbers to boot. The PRETENDERS/CONTENDERS used it in the DEBATES. Where was the AUDIENCES’ SENSE OF NORMAL?

What have you learned after COMPARING and CONTRASTING the REPUBLICANS RADICAL INTENTIONAL BEHAVIORS to NLD SYNDROME? Bottom line is CHOICE. PEOPLE with NLD SYNDROME do not choose to FAIL. The REPUBLICANS and the PRETENDERS/CONTENDERS pride themselves on making POOR CHOICES.

They want to see THE PEOPLE, THE PRESIDENT, and THE NATION FAIL. The REPUBLICANS are CHOMPING AT THE BITS. Where is the SENSE OF NORMAL in FAILURE when it cannot strengthen one’s ability to learn from the outcome? This is food for thought.

How did we regress and get onto PERSONHOOD RIGHTS? What is the REPUBLICANS SENSE OF NORMAL on WOMEN’S RIGHTS? What is the REPUBLICANS SENSE OF NORMAL on being HUMANE? Do the REPUBLICANS have any SENSE? The key to being HUMANE is giving WOMEN the RIGHTS to make their OWN CHOICES.

When someone comes in and tries to strip you of your dignity and humiliate you it is TIME TO BRING IT. The RICK-HEADS in CONGRESS wants to joke around and devalue the lives of WOMEN.

I want you Ladies to find the fanciest words regarding the VAGINA to see if The House of Delegates of Virginia can pronounce or even INTERPRET the meaning. It is a shame that CONGRESS has not only devalued the lives of WOMEN but has tried to cripple the entire Nation.

Throughout this rigorous journey in seeking INTERVENTION for my son, I ran across many doctors who only wanted to medicate my son. When I questioned their authority I was informed that they were the doctors and that they knew what they were doing.

WHAT THE HAH HELL did that mean? It gets even better. I was told by one doctor to go ahead and spank him, like “you folks” normally do, give him some orange juice with Robitussin, and that should solve the problem. Oh hell NO!

Is this the reason why we have so many children who later in life are strung out on drugs?

Is this the reason why we see our children/adults die because of lack of INTERVENTION, dedication, and advocacy from the parents? Is this the reason why so many of our most talented entertainers are taken out by drugs because they are enabled by family, friends, associates, and doctors?

Where is the DOCTOR’S SENSE OF NORMAL? Where is the PARENT’S SENSE OF NORMAL? Where is SOCIETY’S SENSE OF NORMAL? If any of these people listed above enabled a HUMAN LIFE down the PATH of DESTRUCTION they had NO SENSE OF NORMAL.

I was finally given options when I rolled across a TEAM of doctors who were willing to take the risk and learn by doing extensive research on my son. Through their hope and encouragement, the Neuro-psychologists at KU MED have given validation and recognition. They were caring and humane.

This TEAM of doctors had a strong SENSE OF NORMAL. Who we need to endorse will either make us a winner or a loser. It has taken me countless years to realize I didn’t need validation from the APA.

Yes, LORD! Medication would be weighed in as the very last resort. HALLELUJAH! It was all about coping skills, strategies, and teaching/focusing on life skills in order to have a successful program.

President Obama said it best. Whoever told you that it will take a silver bullet to drill your way out of lower gas prices is not telling the TRUTH. It will take TIME and a COMPREHENSIVE APPROACH. The same goes for the people who are diagnosed with NLD SYNDROME.

When the PRESIDENT and his wife was ready to buy a condo they openly admitted, even though they are attorneys, they could not understand the language in the mortgage agreement. WOW! He developed a simpler package to help homeowners get through the process.

Thank You, JE…SUS! We have a PRESIDENT who is HUMANE and RESPECT the CHOICES of WE THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE, and OUR NATION. This is a man with a GREAT SENSE OF NORMAL:).

I would like to give SPECIAL thanks to THE PRETENDERS/CONTENDERS for teaching me the ultimate lesson in WHERE IS YOUR SENSE OF NORMAL. Losers endorse losers, liars endorse liars, and infidelity endorses infidelity.

I want to go with truth endorses truth, trust endorses trust, and facts endorse facts.

HOLD UP! HOLD UP! I ain’t done yet. So I roll up to the school with all of my documentation. The BOARD of EDUCATION, SUPERINTENDENT, and the teachers are not willing to properly accommodate my son’s INDIVIDUALIZED EDUCATIONAL PROGRAM (IEP)

An IEP is a blueprint that lays out a program for disabled and learning disabled children. Who did I think I was telling these educators what to do? They were a AAA DISTRICT. They didn’t have to accommodate something they never heard of or the doctors had little knowledge in.

The atmosphere turned into DEEP SPACE NINE. Where was their SENSE Of NORMAL? I could bring milk and cookies to the in-service meetings but I would have NO CHOICE or say in my son’s education. I remember being told in one meeting they were the real educators. WHAT! My reply was this.

Where were you on the countless nights when I was reading to my child his bedtime stories? Where were you on the countless days of breastfeeding and I was trying to teach my son how to walk and talk? Where were you when I was teaching my son how to sink the cheerios in the toilet?

Where were you when he was given his immunization shots and I was up all night trying to soothe his aches and pains? “I think you need to rethink your position and realize who is the TRUE EDUCATOR and rephrase your question.”

The child diagnosed with NLD IS a masterful educator. My son has educated me with his extraordinary mind, his unique abilities, and multi-level learning styles.

This is going to be a long battle. Children with disabilities are a budget cut. The NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND under the BUSH ADMINISTRATION was a BUST. It will take TIME but the OBAMA ADMINISTRATION has made changes to the school systems. Hey, they are getting there.

Ladies you are going to love this one. You go to the doctor and everyone has the same scheduled appointment TIME. You’re sitting in the office waiting. There are people who have arrived way later than you but your name hasn’t been called. They walk straight through and get waited on.

Finally, it is your turn and the doctor comes in takes a seat and reminds you he’s on a tight schedule. Okay, I have sat there all day, the first one in, last one out, and treated with disrespect. The doctor pats his feet, checks his watch, no eye contact, and flips over the chart.

Then he says, ” I am here to conserve your breast.” What I have decided to do is…… Where was this doctor’s SENSE OF NORMAL? HOLD UP! HOLD UP! Unless doc you are ROCKIN THE LIST and you cannot give me eye contact, I understand.

His body language wasn’t too friendly. Cancer patients got tired of being beaten down and needed more hope. The CANCER TREATMENT CENTER Of AMERICA was established. People got tired of doctors talking smack. BIG TIME SENSE OF NORMAL

On this note, it is called a second opinion. I have decided to conserve my LIFE by my own CHOICE. I’m up for grabs again but I’m cool. You don’t get silly and fight over one breast. This is MY SENSE OF NORMAL.

There have been so many women who have died from unnecessary invasive procedures. Let us not forget even down to your last breath you have the right to be treated with DIGNITY and RESPECT and given CHOICES.

This story is dedicated TERRY O’NEIL, JIMMY WILLIAMS, CHARNIELE HERRING, KATRINA VANDEN HEUVEL, LIZ WINSTEAD, BOB SCHRUM, RICHARD WOLFF, MARTIN BASHIR, CAROLYN HELDMAN, JOAN WALSH, BIG EDDIE, and RACHEL MADDOW

BRING IT and SPEAK TO THE PEOPLE. NLD Mom/cancer survivor

Getting Zach on the Right Track

Scene:  Sparky SPD (representing sensory processing disorder) and Nicky NLD (representing nonverbal learning disability) visit OWN Studio to help a friend get on the DSM5.  Zach is having extreme behavioral problems. Sparky SPD and Nicky NLD came to visit Oprah to see how they can help an old friend out. The conversation takes place in the green room and Oprah has stepped out for a studio break.

Nicky NLD:

Sparky sit down.  Stop touching everything. You are going to get us thrown out of the studio. I knew when I came here with you it was a bad idea. What did you have to eat?  You are all jacked up. Did you eat anything with sugar in it?  Put that down. You are on sensory overload.  Don’t make me call 1-800-Jesus Christ on you.

Sparky SPD:

Chill Nicky, Oprah won’t mind if we help ourselves and take a few souvenirs.

Nicky NLD:

Oprah has a deadline to meet and we are here to help get sensory processing disorder on the list.

Sparky SPD:

You are not on the list either.  As I recall you are not on the American Psychiatric Association (APA) list nor the International Classification of Diseases (ICD) list.  Are you on the Center for Disease Control for prevention list?

Nicky NLD:

No, I am not on any of those lists. Isolation is terrible and no recognition is even worse.  There is no validation and this could hang us out to dry. The APA is trying to throw Aspergers off the list and merge it with PDD-NOS. You know that diagnosis is just not enough of anything to rate being on the list.  If Aspergers vanishes we will not make the DSM5.

Sparky SPD:

Are you serious?

Nicky NLD:

I’m way more serious than Sally Savant “splinter skills”.

Sparky SPD:

What are splinter skills?

Nicky NLD:

Splinter skills are very unique skills that a person has that are totally unrelated to their life but they do them exceptionally well. Savants are noted for these skills. There are so many skills that savants can’t achieve but they should always be recognized and respected for what they can do. No one should ever take any credit away from a person who can achieve the smallest tasks. It messes with a persons self-esteem and self-confidence. For many years, not making the list has done the same to me. I am treated totally different from state agencies, insurance companies, schools and their districts.

Sparky NLD:

Nicky, I was reading your tweets and I did not know we had all that in common.

Nicky NLD:

I spelled it out. As long as people point it out or spell it out for me I don’t get so frustrated.  It was about 30 tweets. I gave brief definitions of some of the disorders. I did not want to cause confusion because a few of the disorders get mixed up. Sparky we share and have difficulty in the following areas: hypersensitivity, apraxia, dysgraphia, fine motor, severe coordination, hypotonia, developmental delays, developing friendships and relationships (social domain), self-esteem, self-confidence, speech and language development, dyspraxia and our nervous system is wrecked.

Sparky SPD:

Are you sure we don’t have the same Dad? We’ve got so much in common. You know I always liked the song Papa Was A Rolling Stone by the Temptations.

Nicky NLD:

Okay Sparky, shorty by nature, don’t make me mad. People don’t realize that when I get angry it could be for something that happened 2 or 3 days ago. It could be something that happened for 3 or 4 years ago or even longer. The doctors call it a manifestation of one’s behavior. I call it being pissed off for a very long time.

Sparky SPD:

What strategy do you use to keep from going ballistic?

Nicky NLD:

You need to go process with a person that you can trust – like a doctor or a therapist.

Sparky SPD:

I can get pretty angry.

Nicky NLD:

That is the best time to go to your doctor.  They can help level you out by talking it out. If you don’t want to talk you can look at the ceiling. If it is your doctor or therapist you are going to pay them regardless.  You might as well talk.

Sparky SPD:

I need a safe area like you. I use to think that your mom was a decorator. When you told me she put those rooms together to calm you down that was really cool.  I love the fountains, candles and the easy colors she chose to make it like a spa. Why did your mom take the doors off the rooms?

Nicky NLD:

I cannot tell where my body space is.  Removing the doors just kept me from bumping into them. The look on your face was priceless when I told you we were in the closet. You thought it was a music room. You asked me where do I keep my clothes. I told you that we were sitting on them. You didn’t have a clue the benches were storage chest. You know I have trouble with hanging my clothes on clothes hangers. I don’t need to get frustrated.  My family always figures out a way to help me work around something that gives me difficulty. They remind me it is no big deal. They teach me alternative methods by verbalizing and pointing out what it is I need to do. As I practice the skill more I learn it and I’m ready to move on. If you tell me to go clean the room. I need to know exactly where you need me to start. They will leave notes on the computer or a sticky note on top of the computer for me to find my information. It takes a lot of work but my family wants me to be successful without the pressure. They continue to teach because I learn by a step by step method. It is habilitation, not rehabilitation.

Sparky SPD:

Man, your mama acts like she is McGuyver or Inspector Gadget. You know our house is so cluttered and it looks like something out of Rag Magazine. You know my mom doesn’t do well with changes.

Nicky NLD:

Sparky, your mom may need to change to keep your behaviors from triggering. The clutter and having no order in your life could be part of the problem. I’m not trying to place the blame on your mom or your dad. If they don’t know when it is time for them to learn. They have so much hurt, guilt,  fear, and feelings of hopelessness. All this can be changed with empowering themselves with education and learning about sensory processing disorder.

Sparky SPD:

How does your mom manage her feelings?  My parents just seem so beat down by my behavior.

Nicky NLD:

My mom and the rest of my family educate themselves on the material. She said if it is nothing up to date, She would take action, bring the information up to date and create a new format for people to learn. She and the rest of my family understand that I have a neurological disorder with unintentional behaviors. A characteristic of NLD is anosognosia.

Due to the nature of my disability, I do not have the ability to recognize the seriousness of my own problem. So I would see my peers like I view myself, not having a problem. Bottom line Sparky, I can’t put myself in other’s shoes to show compassion, empathy, and support. Don’t be frightened, I have come a very long way. Emotions are hard to teach.

Sparky SPD:

Man, that is deep. So what did your mom do?  I feel like this is a seminar.

Nicky NLD:

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She said every adversity does not have to have an adverse effect. I have a difficult time understanding fear. She said this was a good opportunity to teach fear and other emotions. She stated that people don’t like breaking themselves down to the lowest denominator. It makes them appear weak. She said she wanted the world to know how much they are taking for granted. Their adversity would give them a greater strength  She felt if you could write, spell and read… then do it.  She expressed her fears and pointed out fears of others. I did learn a lot. I still have a long way to go.

Sparky SPD:

It is time for me to make some serious changes and start surrounding myself, with positive people, and those who have my best interest at heart. I have got a lot to learn. If you don’t mind Nicky, do you take medicine?

Nicky NLD:

No, I have several coping skills and strategies that are taught by my family members to reduce the panic, anxiety, depression, and stress. Whenever I decide to go out to dinner or a movie, I go at a time when it is not crowded. I go to a place where there is less noise. I enjoy music. Maybe Zach can read the book Musiophilia by Oliver Sacks.  One of the neuropsychologists gave it to me. It is an excellent book. I tried not to overload myself on social events. I get tired and I rest in a room with white noise and low amber lighting.  Social events I attend there are 3 being the minimum and 5 being the maximum people around.  They are very knowledgeable of my unique abilities. I use scented candles for relaxation (mild scented). When I walk, I take a backpack loaded with books for deep pressure. I have a fanny pack with mints, a stress ball, and clay. If  I get anxious, I return to my safe area. If someone is angry with me it is explained to me that the person may not be ready to talk. I have the same option as that person. I am never placed in competitive sports.

Sparky SPD:

Nicky that is a lot. Will we ever grow out of this?

Nicky NLD:

We don’t grow out of this. We grow up with this. We just have to work harder.

Sparky SPD:

I like that Bose Bluetooth you are wearing. What kind of phone do you have? I got that new droid.

Nicky NLD:

I don’t have a phone.

Sparky SPD:

What!

Nicky NLD:

One day  I was at the mall with my brother and he started complaining about everyone on their cell phone talking to other people.  He was so agitated and began to point out people who had Bluetooth attachments.  I looked at him and asked if he knew if anyone was on the other end talking. You know I process out loud and this attachment would keep me in sync. He took me out to the Bose store and purchased it for me.  I wear it all the time. Everyone looks like me but there is no one on the other end of my Bluetooth.

Sparky SPD:

You are going to have the whole world with phone gear and attachments paranoid.

Nicky NLD:

I wonder how many people are laying down their phone gear and looking at others with phones crazy?

Sparky SPD:

You need to cut that out.  Where did Oprah go?

Nicky NLD:

It’s getting late.

Sparky SPD:

Should we leave her a note or that sweater you have chewed at the sleeve? Why you do that?

Nicky NLD:

Sometimes adults with developmental delays have a tendency to eat non-food items. This is called pica. It is mostly seen in children ages 1-6 and mentally challenged persons.

Sparky SPD:

Alrightee! Let’s leave a message for Zach and his family.

Nicky NLD:

We need to let you know that you are not alone. To his mom and dad hang in there and be strong. It would devastate me if my family gave up on me.

Sparky SPD:

You are right Nicky. I don’t always see eye to eye with my parents. I wouldn’t want to be isolated or rejected by them.

Nicky NLD:

A good book to read with your parents is The Explosive Child by Ross W.Greene Ph.D.: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Child. It would be good for you to have an oral motor grocery list. When you become anxious/nervous you will have things to munch and crunch on and non-food items for your body.  Learn about your sensory system which consists of Tactile System (skin,touch), Proprioceptive System (muscles,joints and tendons), Vestibular System (inner ear,balance up/down and left/right), Gustatory System and Oral Motor Input (mouth and tongue),Visual System(eyes) and Olfactory System (nose,smell). Learn what calms your sensory system and what alerts it.

Sparky SPD and Nicky NLD:

We wish you all the luck in the world. We hope this helps.  To the parents of Zach, hang in and don’t give up. You need each other.

Zach quality time with mom and dad reading, listening to music, singing and playing games will help. You need a safe environment with trusted adults and grand guardians. Thirty-two hugs a day might help and you could use a good teacher or a mentor. A national cheerleader could boost your self-esteem. Lots of love and a stable home will shoot you to the moon.

We are rooting for you.