Tag Archives: Oliver Sacks

Internal/External Hard Drive__Driven Hard

Now there is a title. Don’t let your mind play around with it too long. Are you talking to me? Who else would I be talking to? I don’t see anyone else out there but you. That’s because I can go in and have the conversation no one can hear except for you. Don’t you think that is dangerous? It is dangerous when you start hearing other voices inside your head other than your own. This is still one on one. Girlfriend this is me and me rotating my thoughts around. This is not Sybil with 16 personalities. Absolutely not! Aren’t you worried someone will think you are crazy? One of the biggest problem people have is they are so worried about what other people think. I got my diagnosis. I’m cool. My body may not be in top condition but I’m still ROCKIN’ my TOC. Don’t you mean CLOCK? The BRAIN is the TOC and the HEART is the TIC. The whole picture is the CLOCK. If these 2 gizmos are not functioning well you are in a world of trouble. Your TIC-TOC has just knocked the TIME off your CLOCK. You know you are… Don’t say it.

I learned my lesson. Why do you always capitalize TIME? TIME is very important. TIME is a lot shorter than most people realize. We need to stay focus and use our TIME wisely. TIME is a teachable moment. Did I learn the same lesson? You certainly did, in due TIME. I don’t care how many TIMES I have to repeat this saying. Everyone doesn’t learn by repetition. You will strike a nerve and make a person go off if you say it too many TIMES. When they say they got it. They got it. Did I get it? You were a little bit slower on the draw when reacting to what others said than me. So I would hold you back when you wanted to react too quickly. Yes, it is a balance which makes us works so well together. Is this why people are impulsive and they don’t think before they act or speak? A lot of TIMES. There are different TIMES when the brain just won’t allow a person to hold back their thoughts. There are other TIMES when a person or persons are very verbal and they have to process their information outside their Internal Hard Drive. It looks like a person with head-gear (Bluetooth). If you don’t see the Bluetooth you think the person is crazy for talking to themselves. You have to be careful not to mistake them for a person who is diagnosed with schizophrenia. How do you know they are talking to someone on the other end? You don’t. Assumption! I hate talking to crazy A… people. Good thing you don’t work for CONGRESS nor talk to them.

Dr. Byron Rourke didn’t explain it that way. There was a lot of things Dr. Byron Rourke didn’t explain. Where is Dr. Rourke? Dead! What! Remember he died on August the 11th, 2011 in his sleep. I will never forget that day on FACEBOOK when the bells tolled for him. Up pops a women picture used on Dr. Byron Rourke obituary The Windsor Star got it wrong or somebody did. That was the day I had to really restrain you from… Right! Right! The NLDers went crazy. They came out of their box and express how they really felt about the great child neurologist. Twitter wasn’t to please either. The words were not so kind. Who do you compare Dr. Byron Rourke demise too? First, let me do that crazy thing Secret Agent RA-RA does. Maahahaha…! Maahahaha! Correct me if I am wrong. I have never seen this sinister laugh spelled out before. Close enough. You are driving me crazy. Who is it you are comparing the Great Windsor Professor to. Margaret Thatcher! Shut Up! Can you sing Celebration by Kool And The Gang? YAHOO! There’s a party going on right here. A celebration to last throughout the years. Don’t tell me YAHOO got their name from Kool And The Gang. Hey, I think you might be on to something.

Is it inappropriate for people to celebrate when a person dies? It is called hypocrisy when you pretend you are going to miss them. It is wrong to the 3rd degrees to attend a person funeral you never liked. What about respect? Did the person earn any respect in life? Well! Well, hells bells they don’t receive any respect in death. You are only going to end up on BIG EDDIE’S PRETENDER’S LIST. So if your inner thoughts express how you feel outwardly why are you made the villain when you know how the person sitting next to you feels the same way. It doesn’t matter whether you sit or stand the other person used his external hard drive to shout out what you wanted to say. You are a villain if your hypocritical A.. shows up and never liked nor respected the person in life.

Blacks folks are covered. When a person dies we call it a CELEBRATION OF LIFE. So you can spin the title on the obituary any way you want. Oh Yeah! That is so wrong. Do you think I miss JESSIE HELMS? I wasn’t at his funeral either. It will fall under the title, gone but not forgotten. If we reflect back on what you did and it was bad you will be forgotten easily. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to TED CRUZ but I think I could get on the stage with the Floaters and sing the remix of FLOAT ON. CRUZ ON! CRUZ ON! CAPRICORN and my name are TED. I’m here because I wanted OBAMACARE DEAD. The Re-PUB-li-cans are pissed off at what I said. So what! I waved the white flag and put my LIES to bed. So I want you to Cruz on Cruz on. I’m GONE! I’m GONE! What is with you and these songs? Talk to my man Oliver SAKS. He could relate to Music and the Brain. MUSICOPHILIA! Right on! Right On! It is a real YOUTUBE MOMENT.

Living with you all the TIME ain’t no joke. I know. You capitalize TIME. We are really doing this Internal/External Hard Drive__Driven Hard. Correct. Dr. Byron Rourke put a lot of information out there and it wasn’t parenting friendly at all. Rourke did a disservice to the NLD COMMUNITY by not breaking his message down. Little hope was given and his message hinges on suicide. He wasn’t very positive. Even on the opposite end of the spectrum black men or join at the hip of violence spoken in the same breath of mental illness. Rourke always compared Nonverbal Learning Disability to Asperger. Autism was pitted against NLD never giving recognition to the unrecognized. Don’t ever put an NLDer in the room with someone who has Autism. Not Pretty! Rourke never stepped outside of his box and gave NLDers a chance. He never left Windsor either. He traveled but he chose to live in Windsor until the bells tolled. He wouldn’t be happy with Ted Cruz denouncing Canada. Rourke needed to experiment on Cruz instead of his son Phil.

I don’t want NLDers or any other exceptional person caught in a thread on FACEBOOK or any other social network not reaching out to a real live human being and making a face to face connection. It is hard but everything Congress, GOP, Re-PUB-li-cans, and the Pee Partiers threw away will be the lesson learned for the FLIP SIDE OF THE CHART. Too many of the stories on NLDers are caught in a grade school TIME warp. NLDers grow up and party too. We all struggle in relationships. So many of us struggle to do the math. Paul Ryan is a great example of the WAR ON MATH and WOMEN. Rourke did not stress enough to not become so frustrated and give up when the behaviors manifest themselves. People diagnosed with neurological behaviors will not get 42 TIME to do any 1 thing wrong. That’s amazing how nothing has been redefined. Can you believe how nothing has to be done so many TIMES? It uses to be a TIME when nothing was zero. Now we have to count nothing. D…!

Who does it remind you of? A lot of people. Darrell Issa came up with a lot of nothing. Issa gears are locked into an eternal mode and he is driven hard. Issa reminds me of Silvio Berlusconi. Mr. Above the Law money bags. Only Issa is sponsored by the Koch Brothers. Eric Ebenezer Cantor needs to withdraw from his medication. He has SNAPPED. What about Pinky and the Brainless? Ted Cruz and the Pee Partiers are going to blow up the world because they don’t want a black/multi-racial person telling them what to do. It is too much. Their behaviors have been unremarkable. All of these people said and did whatever d… well pleased and was not challenged by their party’s behavior who are maximally challenge.

I wonder what Dr. Byron Rourke would think of all the behaviors in CONGRESS driven to the brink of starving our children. I bet he would be amazed at the INTENTIONAL BEHAVIORS motivated by fear of losing their white status and not mixing it up with the SHADES of BROWN in TOWN. Would Dr. Byron Rourke compare these so-called normal folks to Schizophrenia? I would love to have seen the inclusionary program Dr. Byron Rourke would attempt to develop for a Congress who did not wish to be included with a multi-racial president. Do you think he could help with the HATRED problem? Ain’t no pill for Hatred. Dr. Byron Rourke never stepped outside his chambers of horrors to see who the real SLIM SHADYS were. So what do we do with all this psycho-babble? For now, we Set It and Forget It and make sure it is not placed on the back burner. Is the oven on? No! Good! The FLIP SIDE OF THE CHART gets another chance. What about 42? The hard drives on those mouthpieces are broken and the behavior is unproductive and INTENTIONAL. Their external hard drive was driven hard because they are gamers and their memory was ate up. What about their internal hard drive? They were playing GRAND THEFT AUTO V. You know what happen. Congress should have passed the gun legislation.

Getting Zach on the Right Track

Scene:  Sparky SPD (representing sensory processing disorder) and Nicky NLD (representing nonverbal learning disability) visit OWN Studio to help a friend get on the DSM5.  Zach is having extreme behavioral problems. Sparky SPD and Nicky NLD came to visit Oprah to see how they can help an old friend out. The conversation takes place in the green room and Oprah has stepped out for a studio break.

Nicky NLD:

Sparky sit down.  Stop touching everything. You are going to get us thrown out of the studio. I knew when I came here with you it was a bad idea. What did you have to eat?  You are all jacked up. Did you eat anything with sugar in it?  Put that down. You are on sensory overload.  Don’t make me call 1-800-Jesus Christ on you.

Sparky SPD:

Chill Nicky, Oprah won’t mind if we help ourselves and take a few souvenirs.

Nicky NLD:

Oprah has a deadline to meet and we are here to help get sensory processing disorder on the list.

Sparky SPD:

You are not on the list either.  As I recall you are not on the American Psychiatric Association (APA) list nor the International Classification of Diseases (ICD) list.  Are you on the Center for Disease Control for prevention list?

Nicky NLD:

No, I am not on any of those lists. Isolation is terrible and no recognition is even worse.  There is no validation and this could hang us out to dry. The APA is trying to throw Aspergers off the list and merge it with PDD-NOS. You know that diagnosis is just not enough of anything to rate being on the list.  If Aspergers vanishes we will not make the DSM5.

Sparky SPD:

Are you serious?

Nicky NLD:

I’m way more serious than Sally Savant “splinter skills”.

Sparky SPD:

What are splinter skills?

Nicky NLD:

Splinter skills are very unique skills that a person has that are totally unrelated to their life but they do them exceptionally well. Savants are noted for these skills. There are so many skills that savants can’t achieve but they should always be recognized and respected for what they can do. No one should ever take any credit away from a person who can achieve the smallest tasks. It messes with a persons self-esteem and self-confidence. For many years, not making the list has done the same to me. I am treated totally different from state agencies, insurance companies, schools and their districts.

Sparky NLD:

Nicky, I was reading your tweets and I did not know we had all that in common.

Nicky NLD:

I spelled it out. As long as people point it out or spell it out for me I don’t get so frustrated.  It was about 30 tweets. I gave brief definitions of some of the disorders. I did not want to cause confusion because a few of the disorders get mixed up. Sparky we share and have difficulty in the following areas: hypersensitivity, apraxia, dysgraphia, fine motor, severe coordination, hypotonia, developmental delays, developing friendships and relationships (social domain), self-esteem, self-confidence, speech and language development, dyspraxia and our nervous system is wrecked.

Sparky SPD:

Are you sure we don’t have the same Dad? We’ve got so much in common. You know I always liked the song Papa Was A Rolling Stone by the Temptations.

Nicky NLD:

Okay Sparky, shorty by nature, don’t make me mad. People don’t realize that when I get angry it could be for something that happened 2 or 3 days ago. It could be something that happened for 3 or 4 years ago or even longer. The doctors call it a manifestation of one’s behavior. I call it being pissed off for a very long time.

Sparky SPD:

What strategy do you use to keep from going ballistic?

Nicky NLD:

You need to go process with a person that you can trust – like a doctor or a therapist.

Sparky SPD:

I can get pretty angry.

Nicky NLD:

That is the best time to go to your doctor.  They can help level you out by talking it out. If you don’t want to talk you can look at the ceiling. If it is your doctor or therapist you are going to pay them regardless.  You might as well talk.

Sparky SPD:

I need a safe area like you. I use to think that your mom was a decorator. When you told me she put those rooms together to calm you down that was really cool.  I love the fountains, candles and the easy colors she chose to make it like a spa. Why did your mom take the doors off the rooms?

Nicky NLD:

I cannot tell where my body space is.  Removing the doors just kept me from bumping into them. The look on your face was priceless when I told you we were in the closet. You thought it was a music room. You asked me where do I keep my clothes. I told you that we were sitting on them. You didn’t have a clue the benches were storage chest. You know I have trouble with hanging my clothes on clothes hangers. I don’t need to get frustrated.  My family always figures out a way to help me work around something that gives me difficulty. They remind me it is no big deal. They teach me alternative methods by verbalizing and pointing out what it is I need to do. As I practice the skill more I learn it and I’m ready to move on. If you tell me to go clean the room. I need to know exactly where you need me to start. They will leave notes on the computer or a sticky note on top of the computer for me to find my information. It takes a lot of work but my family wants me to be successful without the pressure. They continue to teach because I learn by a step by step method. It is habilitation, not rehabilitation.

Sparky SPD:

Man, your mama acts like she is McGuyver or Inspector Gadget. You know our house is so cluttered and it looks like something out of Rag Magazine. You know my mom doesn’t do well with changes.

Nicky NLD:

Sparky, your mom may need to change to keep your behaviors from triggering. The clutter and having no order in your life could be part of the problem. I’m not trying to place the blame on your mom or your dad. If they don’t know when it is time for them to learn. They have so much hurt, guilt,  fear, and feelings of hopelessness. All this can be changed with empowering themselves with education and learning about sensory processing disorder.

Sparky SPD:

How does your mom manage her feelings?  My parents just seem so beat down by my behavior.

Nicky NLD:

My mom and the rest of my family educate themselves on the material. She said if it is nothing up to date, She would take action, bring the information up to date and create a new format for people to learn. She and the rest of my family understand that I have a neurological disorder with unintentional behaviors. A characteristic of NLD is anosognosia.

Due to the nature of my disability, I do not have the ability to recognize the seriousness of my own problem. So I would see my peers like I view myself, not having a problem. Bottom line Sparky, I can’t put myself in other’s shoes to show compassion, empathy, and support. Don’t be frightened, I have come a very long way. Emotions are hard to teach.

Sparky SPD:

Man, that is deep. So what did your mom do?  I feel like this is a seminar.

Nicky NLD:

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She said every adversity does not have to have an adverse effect. I have a difficult time understanding fear. She said this was a good opportunity to teach fear and other emotions. She stated that people don’t like breaking themselves down to the lowest denominator. It makes them appear weak. She said she wanted the world to know how much they are taking for granted. Their adversity would give them a greater strength  She felt if you could write, spell and read… then do it.  She expressed her fears and pointed out fears of others. I did learn a lot. I still have a long way to go.

Sparky SPD:

It is time for me to make some serious changes and start surrounding myself, with positive people, and those who have my best interest at heart. I have got a lot to learn. If you don’t mind Nicky, do you take medicine?

Nicky NLD:

No, I have several coping skills and strategies that are taught by my family members to reduce the panic, anxiety, depression, and stress. Whenever I decide to go out to dinner or a movie, I go at a time when it is not crowded. I go to a place where there is less noise. I enjoy music. Maybe Zach can read the book Musiophilia by Oliver Sacks.  One of the neuropsychologists gave it to me. It is an excellent book. I tried not to overload myself on social events. I get tired and I rest in a room with white noise and low amber lighting.  Social events I attend there are 3 being the minimum and 5 being the maximum people around.  They are very knowledgeable of my unique abilities. I use scented candles for relaxation (mild scented). When I walk, I take a backpack loaded with books for deep pressure. I have a fanny pack with mints, a stress ball, and clay. If  I get anxious, I return to my safe area. If someone is angry with me it is explained to me that the person may not be ready to talk. I have the same option as that person. I am never placed in competitive sports.

Sparky SPD:

Nicky that is a lot. Will we ever grow out of this?

Nicky NLD:

We don’t grow out of this. We grow up with this. We just have to work harder.

Sparky SPD:

I like that Bose Bluetooth you are wearing. What kind of phone do you have? I got that new droid.

Nicky NLD:

I don’t have a phone.

Sparky SPD:

What!

Nicky NLD:

One day  I was at the mall with my brother and he started complaining about everyone on their cell phone talking to other people.  He was so agitated and began to point out people who had Bluetooth attachments.  I looked at him and asked if he knew if anyone was on the other end talking. You know I process out loud and this attachment would keep me in sync. He took me out to the Bose store and purchased it for me.  I wear it all the time. Everyone looks like me but there is no one on the other end of my Bluetooth.

Sparky SPD:

You are going to have the whole world with phone gear and attachments paranoid.

Nicky NLD:

I wonder how many people are laying down their phone gear and looking at others with phones crazy?

Sparky SPD:

You need to cut that out.  Where did Oprah go?

Nicky NLD:

It’s getting late.

Sparky SPD:

Should we leave her a note or that sweater you have chewed at the sleeve? Why you do that?

Nicky NLD:

Sometimes adults with developmental delays have a tendency to eat non-food items. This is called pica. It is mostly seen in children ages 1-6 and mentally challenged persons.

Sparky SPD:

Alrightee! Let’s leave a message for Zach and his family.

Nicky NLD:

We need to let you know that you are not alone. To his mom and dad hang in there and be strong. It would devastate me if my family gave up on me.

Sparky SPD:

You are right Nicky. I don’t always see eye to eye with my parents. I wouldn’t want to be isolated or rejected by them.

Nicky NLD:

A good book to read with your parents is The Explosive Child by Ross W.Greene Ph.D.: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Child. It would be good for you to have an oral motor grocery list. When you become anxious/nervous you will have things to munch and crunch on and non-food items for your body.  Learn about your sensory system which consists of Tactile System (skin,touch), Proprioceptive System (muscles,joints and tendons), Vestibular System (inner ear,balance up/down and left/right), Gustatory System and Oral Motor Input (mouth and tongue),Visual System(eyes) and Olfactory System (nose,smell). Learn what calms your sensory system and what alerts it.

Sparky SPD and Nicky NLD:

We wish you all the luck in the world. We hope this helps.  To the parents of Zach, hang in and don’t give up. You need each other.

Zach quality time with mom and dad reading, listening to music, singing and playing games will help. You need a safe environment with trusted adults and grand guardians. Thirty-two hugs a day might help and you could use a good teacher or a mentor. A national cheerleader could boost your self-esteem. Lots of love and a stable home will shoot you to the moon.

We are rooting for you.