I put my hand in front of my face to see if I was still breathing. The broadcast was coming in on the children in Newton Connecticut. This TIME another hurricane had struck. The second SANDY name was attached to a school called Sandy Hook Elementary. Major trauma and devastation visited a school where the lives of 20 children and six adults were taken. Once again a powerful message has been sent to the community at DEATH’S DOORWAY. I bowed my head in prayer. It was not in the moment of a silent prayer but more like a continuum of prayers. It was the NLD MOTHER’S PRAYER of hoping the country would realize our children are not growing up. Why on earth would we raise the age of social security when our children can’t make it out of elementary school?

I stepped back to revisit the story written October 8,2011 called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep__An NLD Mother’s Prayer. As I began to read the prayer I realized no more modification can be made to this prayer. “I can’t tolerate this anymore.” I want our children to grow up and live out their lives. The plane had crashed and once again our nation has hit rock bottom.

The lives that were taken were one of a very short sprint. Will our children get the opportunity to grow up and run the marathon? As I sat in front of the computer I remember an NRA meeting was held back in April of 2012 in St. Louis, Missouri. RACHEL MADDOW was running down the list of unrelated deaths on Kill Me Corner in St. Louis. To me, it still has the effect of the incident that has happened in Newton Connecticut. The BODY COUNT ADDS UP. I know I put the information somewhere. I went back to the story Case Of The Fake People__RomneyVille in the April 2012 archive. It was discovered who was the Playground Hustlers__Who Are The Bullies. Trayvon Martin, Jordan Davis, and the lives of the many senseless deaths have rocked this nation. Their deaths will reach into the hallways of the NRA, ALEC, Republican Legislature, and the 25 states the Republican Legislature control. How much blood do they want on their hands?

A chill ran up my spine and it felt as though the hair on my arm began to rise. As I began to revisit the stories I reflected back on Hold The Fort Down. This was the story of all stories. It was published March 26,2012. I realize why I was so troubled. No one is exempt from death. No life that is taken should be made out to be more important as the next life that has existed. No community should be placed as more prominent than an area that is more depleted and poor when death strikes. No race should be stigmatized or stereotyped and viewed as worthless because of race. No amount of money should place precedence over a life that has no money. It is a life. Every life on this earth has a purpose, will serve its purpose, and a lesson will be taught to show the purpose. All eyes are back on WHO! Say it with me now. The NRA along with their crazy gun laws has gone silently like a thief into the middle of the night.

My rock bottom came when a young man told me he Got No Time To Be Disabled. This was back in March of 2011. If you are Black you are under Attack. This is the way the American Psychiatric Association (APA) view certain races due to lack of ignorance or understanding. In the Black community, you can be killed and it will be swept under the rug. Life expectancy was age 25. He was paid in full and his mother would have an insurance policy to continue on with her life. He never wanted kids because he feared that one day his children would be condemned to the same type of life and never escape the vicious hell hole.

DEREALIZATION! Well, Dr. Weiner, the BODY COUNTS ADDS UP a lot quicker in certain communities. The senseless murders engulf the lives of the Black Community on a regular basis and there is no room to pretty it up. To hell with paraphrasing because there is no pretty word to describe the loss of our children. Black and White with no fluff can only be allowed in the conversation to our children/adults. Our children try to avoid bullies and have taken other routes to school only to find a dead body in a drainage ditch. Our children are not coloring with the light bright crayons. You can see from the pictures they paint it is neither creative or inspiring. It is hard to separate derealization (unrealistic outlook of one’s surroundings) from depersonalization (the unrealistic outlook of one’s sense of identity). Too much of one of these concepts will make the other concept manifest or rare its ugly head. If the major issue is not addressed or if the original diagnosis goes untreated you are left with anxiety, stress, panic, anger, and frustration. You have now caused a secondary problem or secondary diagnosis. You are now glaring into the eyes of Alienation or Isolation. The conversation must be initiated and the talks on seeking professional help must begin.

Dr. Weiner, it is TIME to get real. How is it possible to go home and talk to our children about the safety of their lives? Parents across the nation have been struck with the bullets that have caused derealization and depersonalization in their own lives. A magazine of bullets have been emptied on our nation from Voter Suppression, Women Equal Rights, Denial of U.N. Treaty on Disability, Stripping of Union Rights, Denial Of the Protection of the American Indian Women Act Against Violence, Denial of Comprehensive Immigration Reform and much more. The GOP has failed to adapt to change and has reloaded their military weapons to drop the people and the nation of the Fiscal Slope/Curve. You want to talk about MENTAL IllNESS. BRING IT! What did the GOP show our Nation? The hatred, racism, and disrespect for the President of the United States were delivered by a Mentally Challenge Congress. What does it boil down to? Who is in DENIAL? What Party cannot move FORWARD or accept DIVERSITY? What Party has Alienated or Isolated themselves from the PEOPLE and OUR NATION? Who has laid the groundwork for Depression and Suicide for a Nation who is struggling to move FORWARD? Why? All FOR THE LOVE OF MONEY. Dr. Weiner the BODY COUNT ADDS UP. We can no longer be in a dream state. We must face the realities of the tragedies. It will take TIME.

Advisory Alert: To all Parents across the Nation/World do not be ashamed or in denial if you sense a problem has affected your child/adult. Mental Illness should no longer be hidden or swept under the rug. Seek out professional help. Get an independent evaluation from a qualified and reputable psychiatrist, psychologist, neuro-psychologist, or a University Of Physicians that specializes in the field of Psychiatry. You want to make sure the evaluation you seek out is independent of the school district. You want to have a stronger platform to fight for Compensations, Accommodations, Modifications, and A Strategic Plan (CAMS). Your child’s IEP (Independent Educational Plan) is the blueprint that lays the groundwork for the success of your child. As parents, we must do our fair share. As parents, we must not be afraid nor intimidated by information. As parents, we must take a Pro-Active stand and educate ourselves so we can give our children a fair shot at life. NLD MOM/cancer survivor.