Where have you been Ms. Linda? Chilling and watching the rain. I hadn’t forgotten about you, Ms. Tracey. I have been doing a lot of reading and writing. The rain puts me in a special place to reflect and share some powerful life learned lessons. Well, Ms. Linda, I’m glad you are in a peaceful place.  Would you like to blow the wind of positive thoughts my way?  I can use some help because Momma D is very ill. Our family is coming apart at the seams.  Everyone is holding on to the matriarch of the family.  Momma D is the gorilla glue in our lives.  How old is Delores? She is 89 years old.  I know you guys are very close. Did Delores share her wishes with you before she became bedridden?  She did. What seems to the be the problem? I don’t know if I can carry out her wishes. So you are going to carry out your wishes?

Remember Granny? Ms. Linda, I remember Granny. Who can forget Granny? She was one feisty, ballsy and I can’t say, old lady. She just seemed to evolve with time. Granny was 96 years old. Granny made sure she had Them There Papers. Them There Papers meant Do Not Resuscitate. Granny took it down to the Y. Bottom line she made it clear not to use her body as a Mexican piñata. The doctors would keep running in your room asking the family to sign all types of papers for all types of procedures until every organ in your body is dead.   Granny said the doctors were crazy and would watch the numbers get better but couldn’t see the patient was dying, had lost the will to live, or dead. Granny rocked it. She made it clear. Granny said to make sure your Pull The Plug order don’t get knocked out of the box. Once you sign a paper for a procedure you are headed on the path of delaying the original order. Them folks would run in your room with the big candlesticks putting the paddle to the heart. I’m almost sure Granny said they don’t need an order for that particular procedure. Next, they will be trying to stick a tube down your throat. Before you know it you got all types of feeding tubes.  Make sure you keep Them There Papers in place.

Reflecting back, Granny remembered when she went to visit her longtime friend Maxine.  She thought Maxine had suffered a stroke.  Maxine’s face was drooping. Granny accidentally knocked over the water picture and water splashed on Maxine’s face. Granny thought Maxine would flinch from the noise but she didn’t. Maxine’s eyes did not blink and her eyes remained in a stare. Maxine showed no reflex to block the water from her face.  Granny said she pulled out a hanky and began to wipe the water away from around Maxine’s eyes. Maxine never blinked or responded to Granny voice.  Granny said Maxine’s eyes reminded her of a fish. Granny notice Maxine’s neck stuck out more than normal. Granny stated she tried to push Maxine head back onto the pillow but it would not budge. Granny said she found another small pillow to stick up under Maxine’s next so she wouldn’t look so uncomfortable.  The nurse came into the room and Granny asked when was the last time Maxine had eaten.  The nurse dropped her head and told Granny to wait until Dr. McNair come.  He would explain more about Maxine’s condition when he arrived. Really! The reality wasn’t about an explanation but more about acceptance. Maxine was such a health nut. Granny would say she would eat the paste/yogurt because Maxine always got on to her about having good gut bacteria in the stomach.  Maxine explained not having a good gut could lead to bowel death.  Bertha was Maxine’s mother. I remember the night Maxine call Granny. She was crying and told Granny BeBe could not eat.  BeBe loved to eat.  The doctors came into the room and explain that Bertha was experiencing some stomach bleeding and could not eat. Maxine said it was TIME. Go get Them There Papers__Time to reflect on Time.  Granny notice as she waited at the edge of the bed a strange sound was coming from Maxine’s throat. It didn’t sound like breathing but more like a low animal sound or the hum of a small engine.  Granny said she thought she would have noticed this sound before but the TV was on, not to mention the fact she had spilled water all over Maxine and there was no response.  Maxine made it clear, as the saying goes today, if she could not be all up in your business it was her TIME. Granny said as nosey as Maxine was she had a good heart and love interacting with people.  From the looks of things, there was no interaction.

Now, Mrs. Tracy, it is TIME to reflect on Delores life. What did she want? What did she want you to do if she could no longer do the things that brought quality to her life?  Are you trying to live out Delores’s Life? Are you trying to ease the pain of your life while Delores suffer?  Look at all the quality of life Delores gave to your family and everyone that surrounded her. You got a scratch sheet of paper. Let’s make a quick acronym of TIME.

T-Take nothing and no one for granted

I-Include people in our lives and make a positive impact

M-Memories we share will strengthen the glue for one to move forward

E-Enlighten an enrich the lives you surround and the impression in the sand of your footprint will burn like an eternal flame.

Granny taught me that Do Not Resuscitate takes the same form in life as it would in Death.  Never go to anyone that will not bring quality to your life and extend your TIME. If at all possible try not to include people in your life who can not make a positive impact.  If you are experiencing poor images or painful memories don’t close your eyes but open your eyes and pay attention so you can find a solution to eradicate the problem. If you are surrounded by people who cannot enlighten are enrich your life forget about the footprints in the sand.   The Eternal Flame is out and the lessons will be lost.

Are you ready Mrs. Tracy? Give me a big hug and call me.  The question will arise. Is there anything else that I could have done? What did Delores want? Whose final wishes are you carrying out? Don’t forget you have Them There Papers__Time to say goodbye to yesterday.  Mrs. Tracy, I would like to share a YOUTUBE moment.  One of my favorite songs is Boyz II Men, It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday.