Scene: Smokelbg is staying at the Hyatt Hotel on Capitol Hill. This is her second visit to the President Inauguration Ball. She has all her accessories laid out on the bed with the exception of her dress. There is a knock at the door. Smokelbg goes to the door and it is Room Service with the DRESS… WOooooooo!

Smokelbg:

Come on in. That didn’t take long. Your name is?

Room Service:

My name is Ciara but my friends call me CeCe.

Smokelbg:

How pretty! Well, CeCe I am not about to type Room Service all the way through this story. It reminds me of going to the doctor. You are just a patient with a number. It is too cold, no identity, and we can make you as colorful as you want to be. CeCe this is the FLIP SIDE OF THE CHART. “By the Way,” this saying sounds like one the senators who clowned the CLOWN of a senator whose brother needed help in Atlanta. CeCe, this senator and the WEST of his brain was far from INTELLIGENT. Did I say WEST? Hmmm! AnyWHO! WHO! You can call me Smokelbg. Oh, look at how your eyes light up. No! I’m not the reason why The CHRONIC was produced in 1992 by DR. DRE. Hey, Dr. Dre had a second album out in 2001. Did you notice the leaf on the bottom of the album? Granny did not do her homework and promise the grand-baby she would get him some DRE BEATS. Oh, my GOD! That is definitely another story another day. Those are expensive A…. headphones.

CeCe:

What do you know about CHRONIC? You are a mess and too funny. I have never thought of myself as being colorful, exciting, or intelligent. I guess you notice…

Smokelbg:

Maybe it was because you never smoked any Hi quality marijuana or CHRONIC. People have a tendency of connecting my name with the leaf. You are colorful, exciting, and intelligent. You have a lot to offer this world. Stop being conscious of your uniqueness and use it as a strength. I have never smoked, drank, or owned a gun in my life TIME. No! I’m not a NUN. Yes, I’m a mess but it is nothing wrong with being high off of LIFE. Knowing what your quality of LIFE means to you, how it affects who you are as a person, and the people around you is so important. If you know that CeCe then you truly understand that your LIFE is connected to the LIVES of others. It will make you think twice or even more than twice. Suicide will not be on the table as an option. Your LIFE serves a greater purpose. You must keep the purpose right out in front. Take SNOOP DOGG for instance. He has evolved from a DOGG to a LION. Who knows maybe he will become SNOOP GIANT BLUNT one day. I wonder will SNOOP LION move to WASHINGTON STATE or COLORADO? Is there something bothering you CeCe?

CeCe:

I have never looked at my LIFE as though anyone would miss me. I have never thought of my LIFE affecting others. People are so busy and they are wrapped up in themselves. They just don’t have TIME to be concerned about what I think and feel. I am concern about your dress. Most people wouldn’t care or notice your dress Smokelbg. It is the quality of your dress. I hate to tell you but it is torn or should I say more like shredded. Will you have TIME to find another dress for the Ball?

Smokelbg:

No! I must wear this dress. Don’t let that bother you! I wore this dress last year to the Inaugural Ball. I know some SISTERS that are so creative they can take a glue gun, a plain dress and put your top designers to shame. It is like RENT-A-CENTER on PARADE. Pray it doesn’t rain. They will charge the numbers of their cards on a pair of shoes and make sure their shoes do not hit one rock or get any scratches because the shoes will be returned. REFUND! SISTERS will purchase a designer dress and the key to that success is no deodorant. CORN STARCH! BABY POWDER! The designers are going to be tripping on Tuesday morning. Just to keep the record straight the words SISTERS does not refer to AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN ONLY. OKAY! You know who you are and you HEIFERS are not LONELY. SHOUT OUT TO FRUISA! I have friends that have shown me where you can buy body enhancers. Do you need any human hair? Girlfriend you do not need to buy any expensive hair. I have friends who can show you how to shove the hair back in the bag and get your REFUND! They will sell the hair off their head. Forget about the bag.

CeCe:

For real! Your friends got some “do what you got to do skills.” Do people actually wear the same dress for the next years events? WOW! Was the dress torn when you got it?

Smokelbg:

No and No! It wasn’t torn. The ladies pride themselves on being the BELL OF THE BALL. When the photo shots are released the ladies want to make sure they do not have anything similar to last year outfit. This dress is a very special dress. It looks totally different and the color of the dress has changed. No person at the Ball will ever identify this dress as last years dress. Throughout the night the color of the dress will continue to change. I will encounter several people at the ball. I have a special list. The dress will reveal their intentions. The dress will rip and depending on the size of the tear and the color it changes into the “POPE OF HOPE” will be there to read the NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION of each person. This dress deciphers the following:
a.) People who are dressed to impress but are not sincere. FAKE!
b.) the blame gamers
c.) brusque, abrupt, brief remarks
d.) facial expression, posture, gestures
e.) attention-getting/the ones who are annoying
f.) monotone or flat speech
g.) the gullible or naively trusting
h.) smart smartypants
i.) rude, discourteous
j.) social blunders, just won’t let it go (tenacious), never-ending story,
incessant (nonstop or relentless)
k.) everything flies over their head
l.) can’t seem to recognize your face
m.) can’t read you, take you at your word (very literal),
n.) social misjudgment or misinterpretation
The “POPE OF HOPE” will INTERPRET the SOCIAL aspect of this behavior. He will determine whether or not if this behavior is UNINTENTIONAL. “The POPE OF HOPE” will also determine whether or not we are just getting PLAYED on PURPOSE by the TRICKY DIXSTERS. 🙂

CeCe:

You are going to reveal a lot in this dress. How much can this dress take? There isn’t much left of this dress.

Smokelbg:

It gives me goosebumps to tell you how this wraps itself up. The sole purpose of the dress is to show The Hill Has Knives. It will indicate who will attempt to be the biggest threat to the President in his second term. This dress takes it down to the last of the BUTT-NAKED BEHAVIORS only to reveal one’s true intentions and their true emotions. Elimination will be quick for some of the people because they have difficulty with their emotions are understanding their emotions.

CeCe:

What! You mean to tell me you will end up with no clothes on.

Smokelbg:

AB-SO-LUTE-LY! I hope I will be standing in front of the SPEAKER of THE MOUSE or the MINORITY LEADER that hates MINORITIES. Everyone will carry on as though I am the EMPRESS without CLOTHING.

CeCe:

The PAPARAZZI is going to have a field day with this.

Smokelbg:

No CeCe I will not let anything or anyone get in the way of spoiling the PRESIDENTS big moment. There will be a special headcount. This is to make sure that there will be no secret meetings anywhere. I hate to do this CeCe.

CeCe:

Do What? What is this flashlight for?

Smokelbg:

You will be just fine. I need you to blink twice and tell me what you remember.

CeCe:

Room service. I’m here with your dress.

Smokelbg:

Who do you think will be a STICK IN THE MUD or the LIFE OF THE PARTY?