The Scene opens with a loving couple talking to each other.
Cynthia:
Did you bring me that special edition of Ebony Magazine?
Leon:
Yes, I did.
Cynthia:
I”m talking about the one that has the three different covers on it.
Leon:
I got this baby girl.
Cynthia:
Is it the edition with the Obama’s on it?
Leon:
Yes, it is.
Cynthia:
Does it say 15 Hottest Couples?
Leon:
Okay, stop right there. You’re rocking my list. That was eight questions. When you sent me to the store, you gave me too many directions. You wanted the magazine, avocados and hair dye. I forgot the other stuff. So I went back to pick up BeBe so he could help me out.
Cynthia:
You went to Bebe’s house! Is that why it took you so long?
Leon:
Bebe is my interpreter. We have been hanging out together for years. He’s my trusted friend and he has my back.
Cynthia:
Yeah right, Bebe is a knucklehead.
Leon:
Hey, you don’t need to be dissing my friend. I have a hard time multitasking. If you just give me 3-5 things to do, I will be just fine. But girl, you went on and on.
Cynthia:
So, are you telling me that I worked your nerves?
Leon:
Hey, I did not say that. I’m saying that if you give me too many directions it’s going to set me up for failure. Baby, I have problems with multitasking. It is on my list.
Cynthia:
You and your list. All I asked you to do is get me a few things from the store, stop at Arnesha, get my curling iron and pick up my dress from the cleaners. You forgot that but you didn’t forget Bebe. Since he is your interpreter, why don’t you marry him? Interpret that!
Leon:
Ooh, don’t tempt me, girl.
Cynthia:
What did you say?
Leon:
My friends Andre Autism, Arnell Asperger and Ace ADHD have the same problem with staying focused and multitasking.
Cynthia:
No Leon, your friends have problems with their names all starting with A. There are 26 letters in the alphabet. Is that all their parents can come up with is the letter A?
Leon:
Come on. Your friends name Arnesha.
Cynthia:
Leon, don’t go there. Just bring me the magazine and tell me what you see. Okay, come over here. Are you paying attention?
Leon:
Yeah, baby.
Cynthia:
Well…?
Leon:
Michelle and Barack have pretty teeth.
Cynthia:
Get out of here. You did not just say that. They’re smiling. Check out the look in their eyes. Leon, this is the look of passion and true love.
Leon:
Girl, you are over the top. So I am supposed to see all that from a look on their faces in a magazine photo? Right.
Cynthia:
You never look at me anyway when I’m talking to you. Hell, I will take a cross-eyed look right about now… Anything!
Leon:
Cynthia it is going to make you mad. It is on my list.
Cynthia:
Here we go. I’m so tired of that list. Where Leon? Show it to me.
Leon:
It is right there with nonverbal communication. That’s why I can’t look at you or tell you what mood you are in. I can’t read facial expressions. This has an effect on the way I act toward your friends. You get on me about that television show, Lie To Me. It teaches facial expression and body languages. I’m really trying to learn.
Cynthia:
Oh, Leon, my friends will help you.
Leon:
Thanks, baby, I’ll keep looking at the program… and I’ll keep reading this book on different cultures and what their gaze means.
Cynthia:
Leon, I didn’t know you could read. Just kidding.
Leon:
If we were Asians and we gazed at each other like that, it could mean that we are rude, aggressive and disrespectful. Japanese lower their gaze in respect. Our culture is more flirtatious. In some cultures, it means that you are putting a spell on someone by giving them the evil eye. They even did a study on children who tested and gave better answers when they were not looking at the examiner. It takes a lot of mental processing when you are looking at someone. The children that look at the examiner did not do as well. Hey, it is just a theory.
Cynthia:
Wow, Leon, that is really interesting.
Leon:
Cynthia… about your girlfriend Arnesha…
Cynthia:
Yeah, Leon.
Leon:
She has SAD
Cynthia:
No Leon, don’t you mean she IS sad?
Leon:
No, SAD means social anxiety disorder. She is petrified of embarrassing herself. Arnesha has an intense fear of people talking about her. Whenever Arnesha comes over here and we are going to the party, she starts pouring on the alcohol. She starts shaking, complaining that she has nausea, and pouring out the sweats. Did we ever make it to the party? I know that is your homegirl, but you really need to talk to her about seeing a doctor.
Cynthia:
Oh, Leon, I didn’t know you cared.
Leon:
I don’t. She is drinking up all my Hennessy. Just kidding! Gotcha back.
Cynthia:
Leon, I see you’re getting better with the jokes. Boy, I’m going to grey you up yet.
Leon:
I just wanted to include Arnesha… I know how it feels to be left out.
Cynthia:
Leon, I’m so proud of you. You have really come a long way.
Leon:
Cynthia, I really appreciate you too. I know it has been hard for you but thanks for hanging out.
Cynthia:
Leon, can you try to give me that look Barack is giving Michelle?
Leon:
Girl it’s going to take a long time before I master that one. Will you hang tough with me that long?
Cynthia:
Well, as long as you keep trying. For now, I will take Alicia and Swizz or we can go for a Will and Jada smile and gaze.
Leon:
Baby, try not to rock my list. It took lots of work getting me to express my feelings. Just please be patient and together we will achieve one skill at a time. At least I’m not Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in Ghost saying “Ditto”.
Cynthia:
I love you, Leon.
Leon:
Happy Valentine’s Day Cynthia.
Cynthia:
Good Night.